A Big Hello & Welcome to the Sisters!!!!!

[PortAngeles1969]

We are all on quite the journey! 

You will find moms who are days to weeks into it ,and moms who are decades into it;

moms who are navigating the hopes of open adoption, and moms who only experienced closed adoption;

moms who are searching for their adult (or soon to be adult) adoptees, and those who have found or been found;

moms who have had their adoption plans continue very much as originally hoped for (some even better than hoped for), and those who have seen their plans disentigrate into thin air.

With all this wide range of experiences and perspectives we are quite a handful at times (even for each other) - but like sisters who love each other fiercely, even when nobody would believe it with some of the bickering - we ARE a sisterhood and we welcome you!

[WISCONSON3]

BRAVO MY SISTER!!!  THE SISTERHOOD WILL THRIVE AS IT SHOULD.MLOU

[blessed317]

Boy did I have a rough start but I am so glad I stayed, and that we were able to reach out to some young sisters going through tough times and hopefully help them in their time of pain and grief.

I must say that when I came upon this site I was dumbfounded and blindsided by what I found. I have never been a sheltered person and it's been a long time since I was naive to much of anything until I came here. I know I said a lot of things and offended a lot of people and for that I am sorry, I just wanted a place to come and feel safe and hopefully understood if even just a little bit regardless of my experience or point of view, and wanted that for the others on here that either share my view or have one that differs from the "majority". I have been reached out to and I have been able to reach out to others and I hope it continues that way.

I live my life knowing that it is not about me and I am always the one trying to meet a need of another, if I cannot do it myself I will find a person or resource that can. In doing that I have come to realize that I do not know what is best for someone else or their situation only God does, but if I can assist in making that journey a little easier, add hope, and a different point of view if not another option than that is what I will do.

i hope things continue in the helpful loving direction it has been the last couple days. 

 

[ceejay1]

Port, as usual, you are so wise, you always amaze me with your wisdom, and insight, I feel vey humbled and blessed to have found each of you last year.  I will always cherish all the hope, laughs, and sometimes even the tears.  It is at best extremely trying to be on this journey, and does have ability to bring out some raw emotions, but as usual, I will continue this journey, in hopes that you all will be by my side..Blessings..CJ.

[PortAngeles1969]

You guys are too sweet (*blushing*)

I didn't have a sister growing up in my adoptive family so I have no practice with sister-hood.  But as I have been here over the past year-plus, this group is what I think sister-hood is like in many families.

Fierce love for each other and a willingness to defend each other if someone outside the family comes against a sister.  But perhaps that fierce love  doesn't get communicated real well when the sisters are having to live in the same household?  Especially if they share a room (and don't even get me started on sharing the bathroom and clothes - lol). 

I look at my two boys who are 18 months apart. They would defend each other to the death if need be, but you sure woudn't know if by how they act around each other as 14 & 16 years old. It's all about identifying the differences between them, all about feeling secure about who they are and where they are right now, perhaps wondering at some level how they possibly could be related to each other given their widely different personalities, outlook, and experiences? And when they feel insecure they know all too well the little things that get under the other persons skin - lol!

Anyhow, it got me thinking about this group of sisters and how this forum is kind of like sharing a room and how at times we might bicker with each other; and even get annoyed with just how different we can be from each other.  But when it really comes right down to it, I know that if someone outside of this family came against me I just know that those differences woudn't matter so much and that my sisters here would put forth a united front.

[kathy003]

I agree 100% that it is all about the journey and in fact my need for understanding is what made me visit this group over a year ago.  At that time I was in need of a shoulder to lean on and I found it within this group.  Each and everyone contributed in my understanding to this complicated relationship with my daugther whom I had relinquished 37 years ago.  Each and every view, whether I agreed or not,  allowed me to find peace and resolution with her decision in reference to me.

As sad as it is there are many, who like myself, do not have the wonderful and loving reunion with their child like others.  But, for me, it is okay for I feel that each and every woman in this group can sympathize to my feelings because we all are the same.  The beginning of my journey is no different than their journey.  We all began this in the same way.  We lost a child.

I have not visited as often because I have healed yet I do miss so many.  This is why I visted last night and I sat for hours and read several posts. 

I was somewhat "dumbfounded" due to the anger amongst all in reference to pro/cons of opinions of adoption or how one should feel about themselves.  It was like reading blogs of "pro choice" vs "pro life".  

For me this forum was not about what is wrong or right with adoption.  Usually,  no one wins in discussions of such delicate matters.  It is human nature to believe that our view is the correct view.  We learn this from our own experiences in life which are very different yet the same.  I believe this forum is a great tool to assist women who have experienced the loss of their child and effects of such a great loss.  This is a forum for birthmothers who need understanding of their pain, their joy, the past and the present.  It is to learn and grow and share how we as birthmothers cope with our decision that has left such a pain within that no other can even begin to understand.  It is the life long struggles she will have. 

Nuturing of women who are grieving and the understanding of ones who are at peace with their decision is vital.  It is the comfort we receive regardless of choice, opinion, or views.

No one understands the heart and soul of what a birthmother is feeling except for the ones who have walked this same path in life.