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Searching? I have limited info! Maybe someone can help?

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2009 at 12:26 PM
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My grandmother gave up a child when my mom was nine years old.  I have tried like hell to get info out of my grandmother, but she refuses, stating: "I didn't want her then and I don't want her now." (sadly, i do believe my grandmother was one of those rare ones who really was not mother material as she was a horrid mother to my mom and aunt and late uncle).

So, here is what I know about the situation based off my mom's memories:

My grandmother's name is Harlene Lacher....she may have even gone under her maiden name:  Nelson

She gave birth to a female infant sometime in 1968 (I cannot get a month out of her and my mom does not rememeber)

It was in Seattle.

I know that her pregnancy was the result of being involved with someone while she was separated from my grandfather...so he is not the father.

I have tried a search angel, but because I have such limited info, they are not a whole lot of help.  Maybe someone can find a loophole somewhere. 

My mom wanted her sister very badly and it mirrored what I went thru when I surrendered my younger daughter.  Nobody told me about the lost family member until AFTER I had surrendered my daughter.  I do believe had they revealed this to me, it would have made me re-evaluate why I was surrendering her.  Especially after hearing my mom verbalize her feelings after being told to not talk about it for forty years.

by on Aug. 16, 2009 at 12:26 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Boofer
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2009 at 8:10 PM

I am sorry that I am not a lot of help.  I do know others here will have some search suggestions for you.  I did want to at least say that I will be praying that you find your lost family member.  I do wish I had the chance to talk to others before I surrendered; not sure the outcome would have been different, but I would have maybe been a little less blind.   Anyway, this is me sending prayers your way.

Lisa

Mother of 3, raised 2 - I lost my son to adoption June 1989.  I gave up my right to parent him; I kept my right to love him!.  Reunited with my son 8/13/07.  In his eyes, I may or may not ever be his mom, but he will always be my son. 


Favorite Quote:  "Love is infinite; you can always make more when you need it" - Twitches, Disney Channel Movie

CandyE
by on Aug. 18, 2009 at 4:34 PM

Your mother can register with the ISRR as a sibling.  Back then hospital admissions and releases were often published in newspapers, so that might be a way to look.  About the only way to search the adoption registries is with a birthdate - but if the child is registered, searching the year and location may help. 

How about another relative, like grandmother's siblings if she has any?  or your mother's father?  maybe some one would have a tidbit of info that could help at least pinpoint a month.

This won't be easy at all without a birthdate.  Check the adoption laws in WA as far as search and reunion go.  Maybe there is more that can be done.

randi1978
by Bronze Member on Aug. 22, 2009 at 4:06 AM

I do know that Washington's adoption laws are a bit tough.  Only those whose adoptions finalized after October 1993 can gain access to their original birth certificate and whatever other info they can get.  So this means that my mom's half sister would not be allowed access to her records (surprise surprise...).

I have heard a lot about the IRSS.  So, maybe I will look into it.  Can a grand niece register to search?  Or can it only be immediate family?

I have been badgering my grandma now for days, LOL.  I keep telling her that she doesn't have to meet this woman or know her, but at least give my mom some peace in knowing who she was.  She keeps saying that she's moved on and wants to live out her life with little interference from the "problem".

CandyE
by on Aug. 23, 2009 at 2:47 PM

http://www.isrr.net/registration.shtml

GO to the ISRR website and read the information - it should tell who can register.  Still don't think much can be done without a birth date.  But it can't hurt to try.  The forms have to be printed and mailed, can't be done on line.

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