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How do you keep it all together

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 1:41 AM
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I was pleased to see this group because I've been looking to find other mom's out there that are also caring for their parents along with kids.  All the books seem to be for mom's with adult children. 

I have a 12 year old with a busy schedule, work full time, and have been playing more and more of a role in my parents lives. in the last 5 years  My mom died last summer, we moved my dad closer to me (from 40 minutes to 20) to make things a little simpler for me and my husband, and after a year I"m starting to loose it.  My dad wrecked his car a couple of weeks ago, no one was really hurt, so now he's not driving, which in some ways is a blessing, but it now means that I have to figure out how to do it all.  I have two brothers, one's not real helpful and lives 20 minutes from my dad, and only does something when asked directly.  He also drives my dad nuts.  I also have another brother but he lives 2 hours a way and does a tone given the distance, but can't do the day to day things. 

TO add to all of this, my mother in law has early dementia, is in denial about that, her husband travels for months at a time, and being raised on good catholic guilt, I feel compelled to help her, but don't know how!

How do others make all  this work?? 
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 1:41 AM
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Replies (1-2):
joy-journey
by on Aug. 19, 2007 at 10:01 PM
You are in a difficult spot. Here's how I handle our family situation. My dad lives with me and my husband in our house, and has for 5 years. He does not drive. I take him to all his appointments and shop for his needs. I attend a caregivers support group in my home town held at a medical center so I can get viable suggestions and tips pertinent to my region and needs. My husband and I go away for a weekend about every-other month. During those times I have someone come by to visit with him each day (hired help). Fortunately, my dad can microwave a meal that I have precooked, and he entertains himself with his ham radio and Internet and email. I don't have young children, so the two who were at home were fairly independent.
gardenchic
by on Nov. 19, 2009 at 9:32 AM

LIFE IS VERY STRESSFIL indeed! i just keep saying to myself,,,, I CAN DO IT ALL,,, cause noone helps me! ha ha,, i am strong , and i am brave... hmm....  and some days i just need to be alone, no kids, no husband, no mother in law, and sip a glass of wine!

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