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Hello! Just wanted to vent.And get some advice..

Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 11:25 AM
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Well today I find myself making a appointment to a Counselor for my niece.I hope I'm doing the right thing.I have had her for 3 yrs now and she is a joy.But lately I've noticed that when she talks to her Mother she acts out .

The first thing I noticed was her throwing fits that she never did before..Then the next time she started peeing her pants. Now she is pretending she dosen't live here and changes her name.Which I guess allot of kids do that but just seems weird that it started when her mother called.

Her mom only call every once in awhile when it is convenient for her.I haven't heard from her this time in about 3 wks.Now her real dad is out of prison and he started calling but she dosen't know him so won't talk to him.SO I don't know what to do .I go back to court in June so I'm trying to figure out what to do.Just go for adoption or just say hey ya'll better get your butts in gear or I'm taking her for good as my own.

Not just as guardian.I really don't want to ever give her back you see she is 4 and I've had her for 3 yrs.That right there makes it now fair if I have to give her back.My kids would be devastated also..

Just kinda wondering what all of you think about this.If you think the counseling is the right thing to do ..Or just let her work it out for herself.I get mixed signals from people about it.So I do't know what to do..Thanks for letting me Rant...Your Groupie Friend Melody
by on May. 4, 2007 at 11:25 AM
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by New Member on May. 4, 2007 at 3:36 PM
I don't think counsiling ever hurt anyone. I have found it helps on all sides. It can help you with your discissions too. I say go ahead with the adoption plan. 3 years out of 4 makes you mom.
by New Member on May. 7, 2007 at 4:14 AM
I think counseling is a good idea.  I've raised my step children while their mothers did god knows what.  The signs you talk abouthtat your niece is displaying are pretty good red flags that she could use a professional to give her some tools to cope better. (isn't it nice that we dont have to have all the answers?)
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2007 at 11:28 AM
Hi, Melody,
I am a HUGE advocate for counseling!  It is the very best thing I did when I got custody of my grandkids.... not only can they help the child cope with the confusion of on-again off-again parents, but they also offer support to YOU and the rest of your family..... so many times just knowing they were available to us helped me get through some of the most "impossible" situations...  I have had my grand kids for 3 years also, and Billie wasn't even quite 1 when i got her.... her mom has been absentee for over a year now but her father is in and out at HIS convenience and i get all the acting out and regressive behaviors you are dealing with too, and yes, it's very normal for a little one as they don't have the words to explain their confusion... so... counseling, absolutely, and if you are prepared to adopt, i personally wouldn't  'warn them to get their act together" .  Make sure you have documented the contact they have had and the behaviors after contact and talk to legal aid or a lawyer... then go for it.  you are 'the momma' at this point.  I hope things went well in June, I only just joined and just now see you posted in may....  God Bless and best wishes
by Group Owner on Jul. 16, 2007 at 2:28 PM
Thanks so much.All your advice really helps.Will be headed for my evaluation real quick here.And will go from there..Thanks Again
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