Ok so this is my first group post. I've replied to lots of stuff but the more I've been involved with this particular group, the more I've realized this doesn't "have to be" a burden carried alone. My mom tried to get me into some type of support group when we found out about Austin's diabetes, but I was stubborn & took it as another one of life's hard blows. Some may know.... I was nearly a year into a messy divorce when he was diagnosed. Needless to say, there were TONS of emotions all over the place. Maybe I'll tell that story some other time.... My purpose here was to share a poem called "Her Battle" I wrote a year after the diagnosis. It was still such a sensitive subject that I had to write it in 3rd person. I still cry when I read it b/c it reminds me of exactly how I felt. I had a good friend who read it on MySpace & told me I should've deleted the last 4 lines but I told her no b/c I said what I felt & if I've felt it, then that's what I want to come across. My whole purpose behind writing poetry or songs is to bring forth emotions.... so I'll apologize in advance if it's a little harsh but these are the types of things that are thought even if they're never spoken out loud. This disease especially in children will bring the strongest of persons to cry even if you never show it in front of others.
By: Joyce Stevens 5/24/06
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Her Battle
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Once there was a girl
Who wanted to change the world
But decided in her head
She needed to change instead
Then one day she became a mom
Who wants to see her kids grow big & strong
To fight the world's ways
And always look for better days
Then life threw her some curves
And the weight of the world got on her nerves
When her oldest baby got really sick
She fought the urge to give up too quick
Now she fights back her tears of fright
But lets them go in the mid of the night
She goes it alone with all her pain
And wishes for sunshine after all the rain
People who know her and thinks she's so brave
She keeps her thoughts and will take to her grave
She needs help in her battle within
Sometimes her strength is fading thin
Everyday life gives her struggles again
So day by day she pushes to win
But she knows she must keep on fighting on
Because deep down inside, she's always a mom
She wonders if there'll ever be a cure
So she can finally be sure
That her baby will no longer endure
The doctors, needles and shots galore
She knows that life can be really unfair
And the world will keep spinning without a care
One thing she's always known since birth
Is that she is the one who should be buried first
Where's my tissues?
That's really good!
Sad , True and good
I am surprised that more people haven't responded to your
poem. It is beautiful and real. I don't know how old your
child is, but mine is almost 14. My goal in life is to prepare
her to be without me - away at college, living on her own, married,
whatever. I want her to be able to take care of herself. I
hate when people treat her like a walking illness. She is not
just a diabetic; she is a young woman with hopes, dreams and ideas who
happens to have an illness she must deal with everyday. Even so,
I worry about possible scenarios of her future life: Will
she have a low blood sugar while driving a car? Will
she have a low blood sugar when she is home alone with her baby
someday? I know that these things could very well happen,
but I also know that I must let her go. She deserves to live a
normal life. People do it everyday. God is in control
ultimately. I just pray that I am able to convince her that
taking care of herself is vital to her having that normal life.
I LOVE THIS POEM~~~ Thank you for sharing your heart..
Hatterasmom3 I totally agree with you on this. I am going through same right now. My daughter will be 13 in September. I want to teach her how to be without me. We are slowly getting there. Half the time she cant remember to change her site, if she counted her carbs correct and other issues. We are getting there hopefully. My heart just sinks knowing I wont be there every minute to help her when she is older. I will be there for her ALWAYS.. as us moms always are. I wont be there to help her be and adult. It scares the hell out of me to be quite honest. I know she has more confidence that I ever would.
Quoting hatterasmom3:
I am surprised that more people haven't responded to your poem. It is beautiful and real. I don't know how old your child is, but mine is almost 14. My goal in life is to prepare her to be without me - away at college, living on her own, married, whatever. I want her to be able to take care of herself. I hate when people treat her like a walking illness. She is not just a diabetic; she is a young woman with hopes, dreams and ideas who happens to have an illness she must deal with everyday. Even so, I worry about possible scenarios of her future life: Will she have a low blood sugar while driving a car? Will she have a low blood sugar when she is home alone with her baby someday? I know that these things could very well happen, but I also know that I must let her go. She deserves to live a normal life. People do it everyday. God is in control ultimately. I just pray that I am able to convince her that taking care of herself is vital to her having that normal life.
Mom to an Angel in Heaven~Mom of 2 Angels here
Pleasure Party mom owner of "Those Parties"
"She knows that life can be really unfair
And the world will keep spinning without a care
One thing she's always known since birth
Is that she is the one who should be buried first"
This is what keeps me up at night!! It's the second thing I thought of when I heard the diagnosis. The first thing that came to my mind was if she would have the choice in life to have her own babies if she wanted.
Great job!
I just need to vent
- JoyceLynn
on Jul. 22, 2008 at 11:17 AM