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Posted by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 11:59 PM
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Okay so this week has been a very tiring and stressful week for me.......

I have pretty much done all the caring for of my 9 month old son by myself....

Here's the story:

My husband works from 9-6. Correction: That's the hours he is supposed to work but it never actually happens. Especially this week. This whole except for Monday he has not been off of work on time. He works for his brother. Today and yesterday they had to out of town for their bussiness' quarterly visits and they didn't get home until about 10 at night and they'd left at about 7 in the morning. Today they didn't get home until 7 and Tuesday about 9.

And, I am a SAHM also, I take care of our son ALL day long. And, this week everytime my husband has left to go to work in the morning, my son throws a fit and stays up for two hours and is totally cranky. And, then at the same time every afternoon so far this week he has thrown a fit that and fought his sleep at nap time for about 3-4 hours and if he doesn't get his way, it's the end of the world. I love my son but, I am about to seriously lose it. I can't handle this. Especially when, I don't get a break.......

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to lose it any day now.

Can anyone help me or offer some advice?? 

by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 11:59 PM
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by on Jun. 15, 2007 at 8:55 PM
do you have any friends or family nearby>? if you do, you should let them know how overworked you are and ask for help. see if one of your girlfriends will come spend the night so you can get a full  night a rest, you won't believe the difference it will make!

or if you don't have anyone to help, try changing something in your routine, like if he throws a fit at the same time everyday, try going somewhere for a walk or take him outside to play somewhere different like a park. maybe he just needs a little change in his routine.

also, i've noticed that when i absolutely can't get my son to sleep and if i have somewhere to go, he'll fall asleep in the car. so maybe try taking him for a ride at naptime. even if he wakes up as soon as you get home, at least he'll get some sleep and hopefully be a little less cranky.

good luck and hang in there sweetie!
by on Jun. 19, 2007 at 4:47 PM
I totally know where you are coming from. I mostly stay at home. My husband works for my father- it is a good and bad situation. My dad does not stick to a regular schedule, so I know I can't expect him home at 6 every night. Useually a little later, with a rare home around 5pm.
One of my ways to keep sane is to sometimes let my little guys cry it out- for 10 minutes while I hide in the bathroom. I make sure they are in a secure place and know I can at least get a short breather. Another thing I do is go out...the change of scene helps all of us. My two boys will often fall alseep in the car, and I will go to a drive through grab a snack (coffee useually) and then park the car in a nice shady spot and rest. Not ideal but it does work.
My husband and I make a priority now to get a weekly date too- we have lots of family and willing babysitters. Although I don't think I need it all the time, it really makes a huge difference for the rest of the week. I spent time last time telling my husband honestly that I need his help more when he gets home. He was glad I told him- seeing as me not telling him added MORE tension...and although it still is is getting better. I hope things work out for you.
by New Member on Jan. 18, 2008 at 9:08 PM
I totally understand what you mean. My husband works from 7:30am until well whenever he gets off really. He is supposed to get off at 4pm but that rarely happens. So I am at home ALL day with both boys and going crazy!! Especially the days when he is gone before they wake up and home after they are in bed. Would make anyone wanna pull their hair out! Plus we only have one car so if I want the car, I have to wake the kids up at 5:30am and get them loaded in the car to drive him to work (which is a 35min drive one way). So usually I just stay at home, which is the worst! LoL My solution...early bed time! My 1 year old goes to bed usually between 6-6:30pm and my 4 year old at 7pm. Seems too early, I know, but it works. And they both sleep for 12 hours! They don't get up until 6:30-7am so they aren't cranky in the morning. Hunter only takes 1 nap a day..usually around 10:30-11ish. Now the reason I say early bedtime is good, is because that gives me hours to myself before I pass out for the night. It's a good time to do whatever I tv, play on the computer, read, eat a yummy treat , take a bath/shower, etc... If I don't have my chill time, I think I would go crazy!! Another thing I noticed that helps is a day out with Grandma. I go with, but Grandma takes over playtime and all that fun stuff and I can just sit back and enjoy watching them play.  Every single mom really should have an hour to herself or else you really do go crazy!!

I have also learned not to complain about your husband being late because the reality is, he really would rather be home too. You just have to put your feelings aside and remember he is working that hard so you can stay at home with your precious one. Trust me, it took a long time for me to get that..I would always be so mad at my husband for working late and not being home to give me a break from the kids but after many fights over it,  realized, he wanted to be home just as much as I wanted him to be, but he just can't because he is our only income and if he doesn't work, we have no money! It's hard to get over because dealing with kids is the hardest job ever, but I'm telling you...skip the later nap (as long as he doesnt need it) and try to get him to bed early. I just realized he's only 9 months so you might not be able to skip naptime but just getting him into a early bedtime routine will help. And if you can't do the early bedtime..when he naps, don't clean or do laundry..take that time for yourself!! Because if you don't take care of do you expect to properly take care of your little one?

Okay that's my 2 cents! LoL Sorry I dragged it out. Just giving you my opinion! Good luck girl!!!
by New Member on Jan. 25, 2008 at 10:24 PM
I can totally relate!  It's been 8 1/2 yrs. since I've had to deal with the 9 mo. old tantrum! 
When my son threw fits like that, I would put him in his crib and give MYSELF a time out. 
At 9 mo. (as you know), babies can't control their feelings.
It's OK to take a break, especially if you feel like you're going to loose it!  When you are feeling like you CAN cope....pick him up and just cuddle him.  I know that can be difficult too.  At that age they tend to throw themselves back while you are trying to hold them.  Hold him tight and tell him everything will be OK.  ( Tell yourself too! )
If that doesn't work, try taking him out side.  This way both of you can get a breath of fresh air (no matter how cold or hot ).  Fresh air does miracles!
Can you surround yourself with friends and family?  This is always a big help.  Someone can take over so you don't pull all of your hair out! 
If all else fails and you feel as though you are going to loose it.....put him in his crib and call someone!  Anyone that will help you calm down and cope.  Whether it's a family member, friend or even a local crisis hotline! 
I remember crying and getting so frustrated when my son was that age.  The good news is, in a few years, fits will diminish with time outs and stern talking.  I began to punish my son for throwing fits at about 2 1/2.  He's 9 now and rarely throughs a temper tantrum.
I wish you all the best!  :)
by New Member on Jan. 25, 2008 at 10:30 PM
I completely understand how you feel. My husband currently works two jobs. So most of the time his schedule is from 6-1 at a job and then from 2:30 till whenever he gets out at his evening job.I stay at home with my son and it has been a battle with him for about 2 weeks now. If Daddy is not home when he wants him here my son will just scream..... do you have anyone that will watch your son for like an hour a week even? My father in law has started to help me out with babysitting and such and that makes a HUGE difference for me.... it also helps to have that one friend that you can always call to vent to.....I have one she is my best friend and has been an amazing blessing in my life since my son was born.... good luck if you need to vent or anything I am more than happy to hear you out! :) just pm anytime!!
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