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My goes home to BM and lies about us constantly!

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:59 PM
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I have an 9 year old stepson. Me and DH have been together for 5 years and have two more children together (a son 3 and daughter 1). I have always known SS to be a bit of a drama queen. I mean he is 9 and will scrap a knee and howl and cry like he was dying while our 3 yo would scrap a knee and just get up and keep playing. Out of nowhere, it seems, he has started going home to his BM and telling horrible lies on us. She of course believes everything that comes from his mouth as if it were the golden truth and calls angry until she hears our side and then makes excuses for him for lying! Here is one lie scenario: DH and I were talking about losing weight and getting in shape. SS asks me how big is too big. I decided to try to explain to a 9 yo by showing him a BMI chart and putting in my weight. I showed him that I am in the red so I need to lose weight or I can get sick. He read the words "heartattack and stroke" on the chart and asked me what it meant and I told him to ask his mommy b/c I did NOT want to be accused of scaring him! He then asked me to put in his weight. I said ok and he got on a scale and we entered his weight in. He was in the "needs improvement" section of the BMI chart. I told him if he wanted he we would all start going walking together and make better meal choices so we can all get healthy. We can do it as a family. He said okay and ran off to torture our 3 yo. The next day DH is confronted by BM and she basically chewed him out before knowing all the facts. Apparently Mr. Dramaqueen went home and during a dinner party with his BM and her family he starting crying that he was not going to eat b/c Daddy and me said he was so fat he was going to die of a heartattack and stroke. When the truth was explained to her, instead of punishing him for lying she made the excuse that he is "sensitive and takes things the wrong way so we need to keep the healthy eating habits on the down low around him."  Next lie was that I was forcing him to take pills! I gave him a chewable childrens Tylenol once b/c he was crying that he had a headache! When this was explained, he still suffered no consequences for his lies!! When we confront him he acts as if he has no clue what we are talking about. I have about had it!! I have already told DH I am no longer going to be alone with SS out of fear he will lie again. Any ideas on how to handle a liar? We have already told him that his lies have consequences and that if he keeps it up he may not be able to come back b/c BM might not let him. We have also explained that when he lies we do not get in trouble, it just makes him harder to trust. I am at wits end on this. It seems every weekend he goes home and there is some new crap that we have to explain. 

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:59 PM
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