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blame game

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:22 PM
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I have one SS and we are hitting the teen years and it's getting challenging. We recently went on a trip and brought my SS's cousin along. They are great friends but the WHOLE time they argued and competed. Anyway, the competition, blaming and "I know more and am perfect" attitude just recently emerged. I really don't know where it came from. My husband and I are constantly shaking our heads in disbelief at some of the things that come out of his mouth. And when we address it he denies it and said he didn't mean it like that or that he didn't say it all all together. Both of which really concern me. If he can't identify the way he delivers things or remember what he said a whole minute ago seems alarming. Here is the most recent argument: He was bringing in a huge pile of bags, etc. from camping this last weekend. In that pile were some posters he was really excited to buy. I saw him  flop everything onto the couch and lay on top of the pile. In his drama I said "Be careful, your posters are in that pile" to which he replied that he didn't lay on them, which was not the case. This is a early escape clause to not wanting to take responsibility for a possible mistake. I've seen it many times before. Anyway, later on he did discover that indeed the posters were bent. His reaction was "who bent my posters?"  to which my husband and I replied that he was in control of his own posters the whole trip and asked how that could have happened, giving him an opportunity to fess up and negate the blame he was trying to place. But he didn't take the bait and continued to blame and stomp off. Stomping off is not allowed in our house so we sat down and calmly tried to deduct with him what could have happened. Anyway, long story short he wouldn't accept any blame, got upset, denied and after every moment we thought he got it he turned around and blamed again. I'm not trying to complain. I'm just trying to understand where this is coming from. My husband and I analyze ourselves all the time to make sure he is not getting it from us. I constantly apologize for being wrong, and make sure to set a good example. Same with my husband. So, I just don't get it. The attitude is that he has to win every time, even when there is nothing to win he creates an outrageous basis for competition. Is this a teen thing? I just don't get it!!!!!
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:22 PM
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Replies (1-3):
dar444
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:16 PM

It's a teen thing. This is a very selfish stage, in their life. Moreso, in the 21st century. In my opinion, the more attention you give to their negative attitude, the more they will want to push your buttons. Many teenagers live in denial....lol. I don't know what they are thinking, with that one....heh.

You practically need to have the proof on video or pictures of it, or they will remain blameless, to the bitter end....lol. Crazy hormonal teens....you gotta luv them.

city2suburb
by New Member on Jul. 31, 2007 at 11:41 PM
Ugh, these teen years are going to feel like forever! Thanks for the reply. Sadly, I think I remember that attitude from I was a teen too. I just don't remember it being this bad. It's funny you bring up video taping. I seriously was wishing I had it on video so my SS could see it play out. Irrational, I know. Luckily he is a good kid so he isn't like this all the time. How many years to go?? LOL.
Thanks.
Dawn32084
by on Nov. 4, 2007 at 12:53 PM
I totally understand your concerns. My SS is that was at 17 he blames everyone else for his problems. At first i thought it was a phase when he was younger but now i know better. Every time his screws up it's always some excuse or someone elses fault. We haven't to the point were we don't believe anything that comes out his mouth and when he blames others we just whatever. I know it's probably not the best way to handle things but we are so fed up with his crap we just face the fact he's every bit like his mother and we just count the days till he's moves out.
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