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potty training depression...

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 11:42 AM
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 I'm feeling like my DD is never going to be potty trained, I've read the boooks, and tried almost everything. We're using regular underwear because we can't afford pullups, and the only time she doesn't fight us going to the bathroom is when she doesn't wasnt to do something (like go to bed). How long did you potty train before you saw any progress? I would do the reward system if I could get her to potty... I used to be able to get her to poop, but now it seems we aren't making any progress. We're using the timer system so it seems we're just setting the timer for another fit in 20 mins. Any suggestions?

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 11:42 AM
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by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 11:57 AM

How old is your child?

I'm surprised you've researched so much and never came across the wait until your child is ready theory. You can't force her to use the potty, and if she is crying over it, then you're really pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do. And basically paddling upstream.

Instead of putting all of your energy into making her use the bathroom, put it into letting her know it's ok no matter what she does. If you can't afford the diapers, go out and buy some cloth ones so you can just wash them if she has an accident.

As far as the reward system, start off with baby steps. Don't just jump into go potty. For instance, the next time she has an accident, and she tells you she had one say something like this:

"Thank you so much for telling me you had an accident. That was a great job telling mommy this. If you have another accident, or feel like you have to go potty, you come and tell mommy, ok? That was a great job. Now lets get you cleaned up."

Now, instead of getting reprimanded for having an accident, she feels good about telling you...and maybe after a few times, she'll want to feel good again, and will tell you I feel peepee. and you can try the potty again.

I hope some of this helps.


~30 year old Mom with Seasonal Affective Disorder~
10 year old boy with Type I Diabetes, Bipolar Disorder and Skin Disorder~
~4 year old girl who is uncannily healthy~
~Married for 7 years to an adoring man~

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 11:58 AM

I had this same problem with DS. He was doing great then just kinda fizzled out. I stopped making him go to the potty and he just started going on his own. We started when he was 18 months old and I quit making him go about a year later. He was fully potty trained within 6 months. They really do start going when THEY'RE ready not when we are. GL!

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 12:14 PM

ummm we did the same thing. We backed off... I actually let her god this sounds so stupid.. play with her potty. it made music when something hit the laser light so she carried it around and sat on it while she ate slept with it... she got used to is. then one day while i was going potty she brought it in and went right next to me... on her own. give the baby time its a scary thing to let feces and urine fall away from your butt... NOT!

My daughter has limb girdle muscular dystrophy. She may waddle, she may fall, but she is not ignorant. She sees you stare. She hears you snicker. Her heart aches like mine and yours when people laugh at her. Be polite and ask about her condition rather than be rude and make fun of her. Please educate yourself, as I can only educate her so much about ignorance and stupidity. I can only tell her so much about just how cruel the world can be.


by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 12:27 PM

Oh, you poor thing. Believe me I know how hard this is. My son is four and this is still an issue. He only wears pull-ups at night now but he thinks they are a free pass to pee in them. His bed smells terrible and I have to buy a new one. A lot of people say wait until they are ready, they won't want to be in their own poop and pee but that doesn't always work. my son would poop and just go about his business and we wouldn't know about it until it smelled so bad because it fermented on his butt or because he would plop down and get it on something. He didn't care cause he didn't have to clean it. So I started making HIM clean it and he hated it! Then because it was stuck from being on there so long I would put him into the shower and hose him off with cool ( not cold I'm not evil) water. He hated it. And his dislike for the wiping and showers gave him enough incentive to go on the potty. Now if he could just learn how to aim life would be good! I hope this helps. I know it might seem a little mean but I had to do something.  

All Knowledge Is Worth Having!
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 12:31 PM

just curious... at what age do you teach a little boy to stand up and pee??? versus sitting down?

Quoting pixicutmom:

Now if he could just learn how to aim life would be good!

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 12:38 PM

Well I don't really know. I started trying to teach him when he could stand up and his penis could actually reach the seat LOL. It didn't really stick untill he saw his best friend who is the exact same age do it. I think he was three going on four. the aiming thing is hard for him because he's uncircumcised. it kinda makes it go every where. my husband is circumcised so he doesn't know how to help. any ideas? 

All Knowledge Is Worth Having!
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:29 PM

Thanks for the advice! I did come across the wait until their ready tip, and I thought she was because she would tell us when she "poo poo pood" or if she needed too, and also because she holds her "pee pee" until she has enough to soak through a diaper. She will be 2 next month, so I thought that it was time, but maybe we should back off.

I don't repremand her for accidents, or even when she doesn't want to go potty ( i can't get mad when she does something she's been doing for 2 years) and i do use alot of positive reenforcement. She plays with her potty ( she's potty training her dolls lol)

The most frustrating time is at bed time or nap time when she wants to go potty instead of to bed (again i don't get mad, I take her potty, and thank her for telling me she wants to go) but when i'm really tired it kind of feels like she's out to get me!

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