She said I am just like Kate Gosslin...

[ALD1303]

Ok so I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first so I'm technically not a mommy yet but I have a friend who's parenting style has me irked to the core!

My friend (lets call her Sara) is, like me, also married to a navy corpsman (medic in the navy) which is how we met and she now has a 2 year old son. Before I met Sara, my DH would complain about how I'm not as laid back of a wife as his friend's wife ..meaning  she lets her hubby go out anytime all the time. I got to know her the past 2 years and she def is a laid back kind of wife but I feel she's too laid back to the point that some of you may just lable her plain lazy (which btw my DH now calls her).

We got relocated to another duty station and Sara and her family came to visit us for a week. What  I thought was going to be an exciting week quickly turned into a very stressful one for me.

So Sara, likes to sleep late (I mean 2 am late) and therefore wakes up late (11 am). She purposely puts her son to bed late so he wakes up later for her to sleep in. I understand if there are moms out there who do this but this mom when they finally do get up, she watches tv and doesnt start to feed her son anything until he sees me eating (lunch at this time) and he cries and asks for food. I know we stayed in for 3 days bc it was raining but this kid wore the same clothes all day for 3 days. Me being prenant, I can automatically tell when he soils his diaper and when she checks it she doesnt change him right away esp if there's something interesting on the tv at the time. One time he went so long without being changed that he smelled so bad from soiling the same soiled diaper over and over again that I thought for a while the stench may be coming from my dog..but nope I didn't know she hadn't changed him yet. She also is repulsed by poo..even now that she has had a child for the past 2 years..she will refuse to change his poopy diaper until her husband comes home (which sometimes isnt until 8 hours later!) I only saw her bathe him that whole week once maybe twice but everytime she did she left him alone in the bathtub and would go back out to the living room and watch tv. This stressed me out so I would stay in the bathroom and talk to him until it was ready to take him out. Also, DH and I went out for register for our baby at babies r us and we were only gone 2 hrs and we came back and there were pen marks all over my tan couch (which I wasn't upset about that bc we have this awesome cleaner) but it upset me bc she was sitting right next to him in another chair watching tv (go figure) and never realized what he was doing! She lets him have the run of the house so he would cry every 2 hrs bc he hurt himself and then she'd spank him for not knowing any better.

What really bothered me was how I spent a whole day with her in my house just she and I and her son and I practically was the one who fed, played, and watched him while she sat on her butt glued to the tv and when her DH came home she complained to him about how she was going crazy being stuck in the house all day (it was only for a few hours) with their son and that it was his turn to watch him. Im sorry but she didn't do squat with him but change his diapers when she got annoyed of me saying repeatedly that he needed a diaper change.Oh and for the child's dinner..it was leftover maccaroni and cheese from lunch that she never put in the fridge. Cheese is dairy so it needs to be put in the fridge to prevent spoilage. She was wondering why he was having diarrhea all day the next day and I brought up  the mac n cheese and she said she always did that. Even her DH said well that would explain why he would have it now and then. They really got into a fight about who's turn it was to change the child's diaper and she said that he had to do it next bc the last time he changed their son he didnt have a poopy diaper so its his turn to change a poopy diaper (even though she caused the diarrhea)..it was no big deal so I changed the damn diaper and she got pissed at him bc he made a pregnant chick do it but I was actually pissed at her.

So today I talked to her over the phone and she said that she's been off birth control bc she and her hubby are trying to have a 2nd child!!!!

I know being a mother is stressful at times..but why does she make it seem like it's the biggest mistake of her life but then wants another child?

Also, she doesn't work or go to school, but her husband does the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. He asked my DH how he got me to be such an awesome wife (and I have a fulltime job) bc I manage the house and what goes inside (I like how things are done MY way) and my DH says he didn't do anything..I just enjoy doing wife duties. Ive told Sara's hubby to just not do anything so she gets the hint but she is the type who can go for days with mess and dishes piled high to the point that her husband forfeits and goes back to managing the house and he works and is a full time student!!!

I confronted Sara about all this and she said that I pretty much called her a bad mother and wife and that I'm letting my Kate Gosslin OCDness dictate over her. I may be quirky on how I like things done (but in my house) but I dont treat my hubby anywhere near disrespectfulness the way Kate does. She also told me to just wait and see once I am a mother and I'll understand her situation better. ugh what?

[mommy_raines]

WOW. I have a 2 year old almost 3 year old son and I just found out Im pregnant with #2!! I know 2 yrs old can be handful and can get stressful, but nothing should be more important than that child. I will admit that lately when the little one wants to get up..I have him come to my bed and play on the bed because i just cant get up! But never would i leave unattended else where...ESPECIALLY the bath tube! A child can drown in a few inches of water. Her DH needs to remove the ALL tvs from the house and turn off of the cable. That poor child. Sitting in his spoiled diaper until daddy gets home. You should call CPS on her. That is child neglect. And she SHOULD NOT have another child!

Congrats on your baby on the way!!!

[ALD1303]

I want to call CPS on her but her DH is such an amazing daddy that I dont want to hurt him when they remove their son from their home. I did give him advice that she's probably wanting a 2nd child bc being around me gave her baby fever and that he should compromise with her and say that he will only agree to trying for a 2nd if she can prove she's up to the extra responsbility..but man is she stubborn..

[Mommy8271120]

I would rather be a Kate G type of mom then a lazy slob. You need to get a new friend. Your baby is going to be around her soon and from the way you speak, that's not the type of behavior you want them to learn.

[ALD1303]

Quoting Mommy8271120:

I would rather be a Kate G type of mom then a lazy slob. You need to get a new friend. Your baby is going to be around her soon and from the way you speak, that's not the type of behavior you want them to learn.

Oh she's more just the wife of my husband's good friend..at least that's how I see her now. Luckily for me she and her husband are still stationed back in the town DH and I used to live..we now live 12 hrs away from them.

[ChesterGirl]

It sounds to me that she is just a sorry , lazy person . I cant STAND ppl like that . I have a 3 year old son and another one on the way (Feb 18th !!) and I can hardly find time to sit for 5 minutes , even tho Im supposed to be on bed rest !! How sorry is it to sit your ass on the couch all day and let your kid just do whatever with out a clean ass or a good meal . Not to mention that you cant leave a poopy diaper on a kid , it will burn there lil hinny !! What a sorry excuse for a mother *sigh* . I cant understand that there are days when you just dont have it in you to do much for your kids (trust me , you will find out soon . lol) , everyone has days when they just dont feel good or are stressed or just to dang tired to get motivated to go to far out of there way ONCE IN A WHILE , but its obvious that she's like that all the time . She's probably 10x worse when there's no one about to see what she's doing ! PPL like that dont deserve children IMO .

[COMama303]

Is she by any chance depressed? The way she just lacks any motivation and slobs around, it sounds like she may be. She needs to go get a psych eval. done and take a few...hundred... parenting classes. She needs some sense knocked into her BEFORE ruining another child's life!

[ALD1303]

Quoting COMama303:

Is she by any chance depressed? The way she just lacks any motivation and slobs around, it sounds like she may be. She needs to go get a psych eval. done and take a few...hundred... parenting classes. She needs some sense knocked into her BEFORE ruining another child's life!

That's the thing she refuses to get help and says she's not crazy and just hates staying home all the time. But they have 2 cars but she never goes anywhere. Its just one excuse after another..ive given myself a break from her for a while

[mamaofangels81]

her husband needs to put his foot down andmake that sorry exuse for a mom get help. That poor child should not have to be suffering like that because his mom has issues. I can tell you im a mom of 4 soon to be 5 in march, i suffer bi polar and anxiety I still do my duties as a mom and wife. my kids are fed cleaned and changed whenever they need to be and my house is clean. If she is depressed or possibly has more then that she needs to get her butt into therapy and get treated before she even thinks of having a second baby. I hope someone can talk sense into that couple. It would be a shame if something happened and some called child services on them and ithey both lose that child cuz the mother dont want to do her best to raise that child.