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Kicking my 18 year old son out of my home.

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2009 at 5:45 PM
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This is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I am getting ready to kick my 18 year old son out of my house. He has given me nothing but grief for the last five years. He has gotten in trouble with the law, has done (and still does) drugs, got kicked out of school, and now has gotten a 21 year old girl pregnant, who already had a child and is a convicted felon who was arrested again just before Christmas and will be in jail for six months. My son has no respect for me or my home. He has left food to rot in his room, has tried to sell drugs out of our home, has received multiple recent tickets, treats me terribly and constantly lies to me. I just cannot stand this anymore. Please no one tell me I am a bad mother. I already know I must be to have produced such a child. I just have no friends where I live and I am feeling very depressed and scared and lonely.

by on Dec. 29, 2009 at 5:45 PM
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by on Dec. 29, 2009 at 5:49 PM

I don't think you're a bad mother at all.

The best thing my parents ever did for me was give me a week to move out when I was 18. I would never have been able to stand on my own two feet if I stayed with them. It was a crutch. While I never did drugs or anything like that, I was disrespectful, sullen, and had no goals in life. Being on my own forced me to think, educate myself, and it taught me several lessons on who I wanted to be, who I was not, and how to treat people in general. I really hope this helps your son in the same way that it did me. Good luck!

by on Dec. 29, 2009 at 5:50 PM

I'm sorry you r going through so much grief with your son....I know teenagers can cause parents hardache...I too had an 18 yr old who got in trouble with the law...been on probabtion for under age drinking....took off for a night and lied too us too....NO DRUGS with her as far as i know...but i still love her dearly....Please try to get some couseling to see if that helps you...if you can get him some counsleing also...HOPE YOU MAKE IT THROUGH this diffucult time....

by on Dec. 29, 2009 at 11:06 PM

Thanks for the encouraging words. I gave him the ultimatum tonight. It was so hard to do. It helps to know that other moms have survived the same thing. Please pray for me.

by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 12:14 PM

I don't have any advice, my only child is 6mo old BUT I wanted to tell you I don't think you're a bad mother. It must be heartbreaking to make such a decision, and you're not taking it lightly. Nobody should live the way you have been, maybe a swift kick out the door is exactly what he needs to realize he needs to get his act together. Even if it doesn't... as much as it hurts. You wouldn't be helping him by enabling him (letting him in your home). And it's not fair on anybody else.

I think you're making a brave decision. *HUGS*

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by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 12:47 PM
The way a kid turns out doesn't always reflect the way they were raised. You're doing the right thing by kicking him out. He's an adult and making his own choices, good or bad.
by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 3:27 PM

Dear SadMom,

I will keep you and your son in my prayers.  Tough Love is not easy but it sounds like he is leaving you no choice.  If he only realizes just how much you love him and how much this hurts you.    Hopefully you and he can get some help in sorting this out.

Keep the faith.  You are not alone.




by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 3:36 PM

 you are not a bad mother. don't say that. and you didn't do anything to make your son come out the way he is. my brother waws kicked out of my parents house when he was 18 as well. he stole lied, went to jail got 2 girls pregnant. you have to take care of yourself and your home. your son is a grown man now. he needs to start taking responsibility for his actions. If he can not grow up and be a man at home... maybe kicking him out will make him realize he needs to grow up. and if not. you still had to do what is right for you and your other family living at home.

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by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 3:38 PM

My 19 year old brother sounds like your son. I've been begging my dad to give him the boot so he'll wake up. You're not a bad mom. If you keep allowing him to stay there and keep doing what he's doing, you're just contributing to his behavior. Show him you're serious or he'll just keep taking advantage of you! Good luck

by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 3:40 PM

Your not a bad mom. Your son just went down a bad road 5 yrs ago and decided to stay on that path. It's not your fault. You are doing the right thing. Be strong and do what's best for your family.

group hug

by on Dec. 30, 2009 at 3:46 PM

You are not a bad would be a bad mother if you were to allow him to believe this behavior is acceptable, I wish you the best of luck...sometimes tough love is the best medecine.



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