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feeling stuck.....

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:49 AM
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hello all, I am 25 with a two year old, i live with my son and his father. Lately i have been missing my single, 25 year old life.....my sons father is 36 and has already been through the partying, college, and wild part of his life and mine is over because I am a mom now. when i try and talk to him about it he says i shouldnt be feeling that way because I made the choice to be a mom....he shows no sympathy and makes me feel bad for having those thoughts. Juse beacuse I am a  mom does not mean I am not still a 25 year old woman, whose the only out her friends to have a child....and alot of my friends dont even talk to me anymore because I cant go out with them or just hangout whenever I want.....I dont know I just wish these feelings would go away or I could just learn how to be happy where I ma in life.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-6):
bearsbabies
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:07 PM

I know what your going through and I felt the same way. When my kids were born they were my first (i had twins) and we moved out to the country. All my close friends dont have kids and then we moved far away because we wanted to raise our kids in the country. I felt a little alone and not so content. Honestly im getting used to it, some days are better than others. I miss having commrodery with my girls. Im trying to  make new friends wich is hard with no  time to invest in them lol. So I know where your coming from good luck to both of us. We can adjust together

Nelliebear
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:10 PM

 Do you have time to yourself? Maybe try scheduling a babysitter at least one night out of the week and you and your partner take a date night! Motherhood does sometimes sneak up on you and try to break you down and have thoughts that you really don't want to have! I am 27 with a 6 yr. old and a almost 3 yr. old, lord knows I have been where you are now! Take time for yourself even if its to get the father to watch the baby while you go grocery shopping. Any moments to yourself soak every second in! Even if its takes you being in the bath alone! I really do recommend at least one night a week for adults!

Shauna71904
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:26 PM

awwwwwww HUGS! I am there have been there... ugh. i sometimes get so annoyed when my current BF talks about his HS vacations and college days.... Its almost to the point where when he says COCHRAN (the city his college was in) I could jab a pen through his eye.... But all we can do is move on and learn to enjoy what we have now, Get a sitter grab some GF's and go out... I am so sorry I know how bad it sucks! I had my kid at 17!

pinkayso06
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:54 PM

I feel the exact same way you do. Before my husband and I married he woud party with his military friends he was in the Marine Corps and stationed out in a small CA town. I loved it there because there were tons of other young couples who knew what it was like to live a military life. When we got married he jsut never wanted to do anything anymore. Vegas was only 2 hrs away and he didn't even want to go there anymore (They used to go at least once a month). Then he deployed to Iraq for a second time and I moved to Illinois where hes from to wait for him. When he got home we bought a house here and have been here since. I have no friends here and have no way to make any. Since hes been deployed twice and got used to not being around civilians he doesn't like to go out to bars or clubs anymore. He is 25 now. Im only 21 we had our 1st child in Nov. I feel like he got to have all this fun and it all of a sudden came to a halt. Now we don't do anything b/c he doesn't want to. Its like pulling teeth to get him to even go out to dinner with me. I never really got to have that fun that he did. When I try to talk to him about it, it doesn't do any good. He just sees that hes over that part of his life and I should be too.  I know it sucks but Im just having to deal with it.

rkay1974
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:08 PM

Just because your a mom doesnt mean you have to forget about YOU!   Your still an individual, and you still need friends and your own time for yourself.    There is nothing wrong with going to the mall or a movie with a girlfriend, or even a drink at a bar (If your husband doesnt like it have him go out with his buddys, he needs time out too!)  If you both dont do this occasionally you will just grow to resent each other.    I speak from expierence, I had hooked up with a guy that had a 2yr old, married him and had two more by 26.  Now at 35, Im divorced and still feel like I missed out on things.  Dont get me wrong I wouldnt trade my children for anything but I dont think the feeling just goes away it didnt for me.   Best of LUCK!!

RKAY1974

marisab
by on Feb. 10, 2010 at 8:42 AM

hey maybe its time to meet localmoms ur age and plan both playdates with the kids and moms day outs after alli am sure u are not the only one feeling like this and youtr hubby should be more sympathetic

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