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Im sick of seeing her so miserable

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:20 AM
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Ok so i am 22 years old now My grandmother is 61 i love her i do but to me she is so miserable and im tired of dealing w/ it to me she has no fun in her life i feel she needs a man or she needs to go on a trip with friends or somthing she is to caught up with stresses and worries that she can not fix and it drives me crazy the way she is its hard to visit her without wanting to leave i love her do not get me wrong and i understand in her life she has been through and experienced alot but god help do she have to drag everyone else down....im venting at the moment and i am a bit frustrated at the moment plus we are visiting... Does any one have any tips on how i as her oldest granddaughter can help her?
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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:20 AM
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girlnextdoornco
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi Laronda,  I'm not sure I completely understand what your grandmother is doing.  Is she complaining all the time?  Is she angry? Can you give a bit more detail....I'd love to help if I can.

 

 

Laronda367
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:47 PM


Quoting Laronda367:

Ok so i am 22 years old now My grandmother is 61 i love her i do but to me she is so miserable and im tired of dealing w/ it to me she has no fun in her life i feel she needs a man or she needs to go on a trip with friends or somthing she is to caught up with stresses and worries that she can not fix and it drives me crazy the way she is its hard to visit her without wanting to leave i love her do not get me wrong and i understand in her life she has been through and experienced alot but god help do she have to drag everyone else down....im venting at the moment and i am a bit frustrated at the moment plus we are visiting... Does any one have any tips on how i as her oldest granddaughter can help her?

hey hi yes well she is complaining all the time and i think she is angry on some levels but??? idk about what like i think she is unhappy and i can understand why to some extent she is 61 not married she had been with a man my step grand pa well grandpa for so many years and he did not do the honors of marrying her he has taken care of her financial wise but as a loving partner there romance stopped back in 1981 she says when my aunties ( their  daughters) were born. they are 31 years old now and her and my gpa still argue n fight and he does and says things that are not right to her well he did until last month because now he is moved out the home from her because of there differences so yes there is that problem and then there is the annoying problem of her worrying about things that she can not really control or change i guess its just a motherly thing she worries about my aunties and their relationships with men and how their parenting their kids and my teenage brother who is 17 and making a goal for his life its like she don't want him to move on or grow up sometimes well in the pass not now she acted jealous of his girlfriend she loves her now but before she felt like she was taking him away or whatever and then she gets all in my business with me and my kids father and try to pry and i can't nicely change the subject or ask her lets not talk about it because she makes it into a argument uggh and then she cleans up all day so much until it's like OCD u go to the bathroom here she comes right behind you to make sure stuff isn't out of place and it's just to much it ive tried telling her she needs a vacation and to get out but she always throws off an excuse i feel not to try for it :/ i meen idk to me she has been like this for years i thought i was just a snotty teenage back in the day when we use to argue and we just had our differences but now becoming an adult i realize she has poor relationships with everyone almost her kids and grand kids that is she to me is just a one sided person when it comes to us it's only her way that is the right way every one else is crazy and she sits their and mope how disappointed she is with her grand kids or kids and she don't like what she is seeing and its like no one is doing anything just living just not to her standards i guess i mean  nobody is on drugs we all have jobs,work go to school ect. good parents ourselves but yet she still got a problem gee i dont know oh and another thing she sits there and watch politics all day and all it does is get her heated about the political debates.. i just think she needs more of an outside hobby...    SORRY IF I RAMBLED ALOT TYPING AND THINKING  AT THE SAME TIME CAN BE KIND OF ALOT FOR ME SOMETIMES ESPEACIALLY IF IM TRYING TO EXPLAIN SOMTHING :)

girlnextdoornco
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, first let me say that your grandmother is blessed to have you in her life.  You are so caring and concerned for her..what a sweetie! I guess the long and short of it is...you can't change somebody..they have to see the need to change and then want to do the work to change. One thought I did have..since you mentioned she might need a hobby or something to get out of the house and out of her thought patterns...maybe you could suggest a class or some type of outing together.  Maybe make a pact that when you are on this "outing" there will be no talk of problems, family, etc...just fun girl time. IDK...but it might be worth a try.  Keep in touch and let me know how it goes...hugs.

Laronda367
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:27 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting girlnextdoornco:

Well, first let me say that your grandmother is blessed to have you in her life.  You are so caring and concerned for her..what a sweetie! I guess the long and short of it is...you can't change somebody..they have to see the need to change and then want to do the work to change. One thought I did have..since you mentioned she might need a hobby or something to get out of the house and out of her thought patterns...maybe you could suggest a class or some type of outing together.  Maybe make a pact that when you are on this "outing" there will be no talk of problems, family, etc...just fun girl time. IDK...but it might be worth a try.  Keep in touch and let me know how it goes...hugs.

hugsThank you so much for such a supportive answer and that is something i will definitely do suggest a girl outing and NO TALK OF PROBLEMS! :) JUST HAPPY THINGS. because i really do want to try for her i love her i dont want it to be were i turn my back on her and just not want to be invovled with her no more or anything like that i know there has to be a solution! and this is a good one and the best that i can do..

reindeer-c
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:33 AM

Does she like bingo? Many churches have it and maybe you could go together. Or a movie and lunch? A walk? Anything even errands like grocery shopping.

Laronda367
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:53 AM


Quoting reindeer-c:

Does she like bingo? Many churches have it and maybe you could go together. Or a movie and lunch? A walk? Anything even errands like grocery shopping.

well about bingo it would be something nice for her to do but i doubt if she will do it because her daughter my aunt plays bingo so much to were she gambles her money off so much to were it drives my grandma insane so she probably wont play bingo and with churches yes she does go and is involved with one at the moment through her lifetime she grew up in the church so she grew up playing the piano for churches and that is somthing she enjoys doing the only problem is she fell out and got into arguments with the chorus and some of the leaders or its not a church were she feels good at so she leaves uggh lol she is impossible to get along with at times i feel.

rayroe2
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 3:19 AM
Are you helping yourself?
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