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The Stress That I Hide

Posted by on Nov. 10, 2014 at 9:51 PM
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  Just so you all know, I am new and only made this account just to finally let out this stress that I hav had built up inside after having my child. My beautiful daughter was born June 6th, 2014 and I couldn't of been happier, but maybe a month after I had her EVERYTHING went down hill. I am a 19 year young mother. I'm not married, but I am still with my daughter's father, but I can't say all is well and happy like it should be. I just find myself constantly angry at him, my daughter, his family and you can say I sound terrible for being mad at a 5 month old, but truly there is more to it. 

   Let's start with the fact my boyfriend and I were once happy and he treated me like a queen until I busted him cheating on me. He treated me like a queen until I called him out and now every little argument he tells me he hates me and never loved me, but how could that be true? We have a daughter and when your not mad you tell me how much you adore me and love me? Well, another thing is that I moved from my home and family from Georgia to Oklahoma to make him happy, because he reminded me how miserable he was in Georgia all the time and went out of his way to say I ruined his life by getting pregnant and "MAKING" him move to Georgia! Well, to make him happy I moved to Oklahoma so he wouldn't resent me anymore, but when we moved to Georgia we were forced to move in with his oh so "wonderful" mother who likes to tell me how to raise my daughter!

  Not only does she think she is a pro at raising others babies, but since she watches every episode of Dr.Phil, she feels as if she is a relationship consultant too. I mean, this lady will go and wake my daughter up at 12am and get her all active just to pawn her back off to me to get back down to bed again! GAH! I can't express how pissed I get even thinking about it! Then when I tell my boyfriend we need to say something to her, he say, "Yeah, I'm tired of it too.", but does he say anything? NO! because he is scared mama is going to cut him off.

  If you have read this far, Thank you. Now, where I wrote I was angry at my daughter I don't mean in terms of, I hate her or wish she was never born, but in terms that I feel like I do everything on my own! I get tired of being around her 24/7. Since I had my daughter 5 months ago, I haven't once been away from her because boyfriend stays up until 4am on computer games and won't wake his sorry bum up until 1pm next day! Yes, I try to wake him, but that doesn't by no means work!  I can't just leave my daughter with someone who wants to sleep all day!

 I'm not on here to get sympathy, but I just need someone to listen! I feel like giving up. I think to myself sometimes I just wish God would just take me now. I am tired of crying, being alone, and just feeling broken all the time.

  I pray Jehovah help me, but I can pray and just lose faith all together after the end of the day. I have no friends in this new town, nobody to turn to and it just hurts! I'm honestly scared to post this because I knowhow cruel others can be, but please just hear me out. My Beautiful Daughter, Vera Wren <3 

by on Nov. 10, 2014 at 9:51 PM
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