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a twenty year old mom needs help indeed!!!!!!!!!

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:20 PM
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Hey moms out there..

Im in need of some serious toddler help. Im twenty years old and My daughter ( only child) will be 2 May 2nd 2009..

Ive heard people talk about it with chills, You know the topic that makes them nearly scream as they want to pluck out every grey hair that is on there head.. well im at that point.

Dont get me wrong.. I saw the world a whole different way the day my daughter was born.. I never understood the true meaning of LOVE until I held that beautiful healthy baby in my arms.. But now a year and a half later.. Here I sit..  Currently living with my parents for support ( single Mother ) near the breaking point..

Is it indeed the terrible twos?

I have no idea. Grandmaw doesnt make it any easier specially since I was an only child and now I have an only child who just so happens to be the "granddaughter" "mimi" always wanted.. Ahhhh sighs...


The constant no's temper tantrums.. Barely eating... Its a daily struggle to get the girl to eat anything HEALTHY. She has at least 1200 bucks worth of toys at our house alone not counting her father.. And she would rather "Mess with pawpaws new 60 inch plasma screen tv"

I have no idea how to handle it.. quiet honestly im stressed enough as it is.. Trying to balance Raising a child .. on top of every day life stuff has made me to the brink of absolute craziness.

Should spanking be enforced.?  I grew up in a very easy going single parent home.. My mom worked full time.. and spent the rest making me FORGET I was an only child.. I was a pretty good kid.. Kinda whiny.. sometimes a bit of a brat.. But all in all.. I was very thoughtful for my age.. Always was in tune with the "news" and just stayed busy pleasing my loving mother.

So much for all that now.

My daughter is very bright... The doctors said when she was 9 months old that her iq was exquisite. and that she was a very smart child. Even more so now.. She doenst act like a 1 1/2 year old at all. She talks like an adult.. figures things out very easily and is very in tune to whats going on ... My problem is.. When shes not being a sweetheart.. its a holy terror. (lol kidding) I suspected that its a faze and that eventually she will grow out of it.. but untill then what measures do I take. How do I deal with the screaming tantrums, No mommy , and barely eating.. I stay so tired now and I feel darn right baffled.. I love my little girl more then anything else in this world.. I dont like spending most of the day guilty because of her behavior.. and anytime I do "correct" her my mom steps in and says to  "lay off" shes only little.. Ive questioned that myself.. But I dont want her acting like those kids(brats)<sorry that fall out like a shot cat in walmart screaming and yelling and completely acting a mess. When I was little my momma would have taken a switch to me for such behavior. Now I realize that is wayyyy to harsh for a child her age... and if I can avoid it I would like to not correct her behavior with phsyical  violence id prefer a talking approach .




Please help me..

thanks and god bless.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:20 PM
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by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:28 PM

My daughter just turned two in October. Well i have noticed a little change in her but nothing too dramatic. She likes to use no and mine a lot more now but other than that she still knows who's boss. Just stay firm so she doesnt learn your week points. Kids will push your buttons mostly to see how far they can push you but if you don't let them push you very far it makes things much easier. Dont worry about it too much you'll be fine.

{*Mamma Bear*}
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:47 PM

Don't worry, this to shall pass.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:48 PM

all i have to say is if you think 2 is bad wait til she gets to

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:50 PM

I agree things will get better.  My son will be 3 in Feb. and he has his moments where he doesnt listen at all.  Main thing to do so they know they are doing wrong is stay consistant.  That was one of my main problems.  I would punish one day and make up an excuse like o he saw daddy do it and not punish.  Stay consistant, explain why you are punishing and then if for some reason it is something you do (like touch the stove) try and explain why it is okay for you but not for them.  You end up explaining it over and over and over but it will help.  An example is my son and curse words... between us slipping and well his fil trying to teach them to himeye rollinghe has said them a few times.  What I do is smack his hand sit him in a corner away from everything from 2-5 minutes depending on how he is reacting to the punishment.  Then when his punishment is over I sit him down explain that it is a bad word that no one should say ... apologize if I had said it make sure he knows I and he was wrong.  Tell him I love him and boom.  He corrects me now if I say a curse word.  He will say mommy dont say that... say sorry.  I have to apologize to him and he tells me its ok and hugs me lol.  It will def be a reward when they start to listen and take in what you are trying to teach.  And of course how drastic the punishment depends on the situation.  Once before bed he was giving me trouble so I sent him to bed .. just to bed.  He picked up a bad habit from his father ... watching tv to fall asleep.  So I told him bc you are not listening to mommy it is time for bed and when you go to bed you are just going to bed no tv no books.  He was upset but went to bed like mommy said.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 7:17 PM

You think the two's are bad, they don't stop at two.  Three is worse i think.  At first I thought they were joking, but since Josh has turned three it's been a whole new ball game..  From the No's to the tantrums, to the I want you to go away mommy's I hear it all.  You will get through it I promise.  The one good thing is I will know what to do when my baby turns that age so I guess I am gaining experience.  Although no child is alike so it should be interestion.  GOTTA GO< NOAH IS ON THE MOVE!

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by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 7:26 PM

if i wasnt almost 10 yrs older than you and my son wasnt 5, i would think we were the same person....LOL.  unfortunately, my son never outgrew it.  i call him a trouble genius.  he too, is very very smart.....talking like an adult at 1, etc....just as you said, but he has only gotten worse.  he really thinks he is an adult and he sees and does things differently than most kids.  and i have a mom that is just like yours.  she thinks im too harsh on him and im like you arent with him 24/7 the way he talks and acts!!!   LOL 

im here if you need to talk. ( almost 2 yr old isnt like him, so all isnt loss for your next

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 7:33 PM

i am 21 and have 2 daughters. I had my first when i was 16. the terrible twos i basiclly from age 15 months to 5! You have made it through infantcy. You will be okay.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:12 PM

 About the eating, that's a faze you're not going to skip. My daughter and her friend (22 and 23 mos old) are the same way.. They both want to eat cereal all day.. BUT add fresh fruit in a smoothie or something or make stuff out of the fruit and make it fun to eat.. Same with veggies. My daughter WON'T eat meat.. Reguardless.. Fun. And the tantrums.. My daughter i put in time out, she has a chair in our room that is near NO toys and she can't see tv's or anything. She hates it, and if she starts acting up i  ask her "do you want time out?" when she says no, then i'll be like "Well then, go sit down and color.....etc w/e" And that works for her. Or do time in.. Opposite of time out, i would keep her right next to me, like standing right next to where i sat, not letting her sit or do anything until the time was up..

Good luck and God bless.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:23 PM

I am a mother of four children, ages 12years-2years. My youngest will be 2 years old on Feb 1st. He had his first tantrum at about 16months and since has only had 3 or 4 since. I STOPPED IT FAST. I don't give in. Stand your ground. if you give in and give her what she wants, she will continue to have tantrums. I don't spank and never have. I am firm on TIME OUT. It might take a couple weeks for it to work but it will work. I would tell your mother that you are thankful for her help but that you need to do this your way. (( what is going to happen when you move out on your own?? You are going to be the one dealing with this, not your mom.)) I hope this helps.

I'm a OBAMA HATER, pro choice ,SAHM, NO CIO, Bottle using, vaxing, public school, non-spanking, circumcising, front facing carseat, junk food eating, debt free, gun using, NOT VOTING, Smoking SORTA MOM..I don't support the war..Its just who I am.. Get over it...
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:34 PM

I am also a 21 year old mother of a 2 year old (as of Nov 11). I work full time and come home to her 2-year-old moods. Though I am not a single mother, my husband does not have the kind of job that affords him to be home frequently, or at specific times or intervals, so I often FEEL like a single mother. Add to that the fact that his job is particularly dangerous, the stresses of my own job, going back to school for the first time in two years, and managing a household by myself...girl...I feel your stress!!!

I so understand what you mean about the "terrible two's". I have a few comments.

  • First off, this just the beginning! My daughter has recently started a destructive stage...coloring on my walls, and tearing the faces off my kitchen drawers. So try to be patient.
  • Pick your battles! Your daughter may seem to be "terrible" to you...but she may just be exploring some new boundries and trying to figure the world out. Or she may be trying to be like her biggest super hero...her Mommy! I do not "spank" my daughter; however, she does get her hand popped & timeouts when she misbehaves. For now, it works like a charm, most of the time.
  • The not eating is a phase. This too shall pass. But don't become a ready-to-order diner to satisfy what your baby wants. My daughter eats what I make the rest of the family for dinner, or she goes to bed hungry.
  • When my daughter started the "always NO" phase, it was b/c she was imitating me since that was what she always heard. I learned to say "that's right, Mommy said NO." instead of getting angry and saying "don't tell Mommy NO!" Now she knows the meaning. Lucky me. I'm still learning!

Hope some of my thoughts and ideas help you some! I know it can be hard to have a toddler and be a single mother and work full time, plus add the stress of living with your parents! Good luck! Hope you still have some hair tomorrow! Don't pull it all out!

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