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help with my 6year old

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:04 PM
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I have a DD who is 6 will be 7 in March. The problem I am having is she lies all the time and about everything she can from tiny little things that dont even matter to bigger things. This irraites me to no end. I have taken things away from her that she likes. i have made her go to bed early. Made her stay in her room. spanked her grounded her. Anyting i can think of. I am at loss of what to do. My DH is deployed right now so i dont really have him here to help. And the lying has been going on for months even before he left. does anybody have any ideas? I am at a loss for words.

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:04 PM
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Replies (1-9):
missybrode
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:13 PM

I never have had that problem, but have you tried to talk to her about this? Maybe there is something more going on then you think?

littlemommy_of4
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:15 PM


Quoting missybrode:

I never have had that problem, but have you tried to talk to her about this? Maybe there is something more going on then you think?

I have talked to more than i count. We go to church every week so she knows that lying is not okay. I just dont know what to do. I have talked to her my DH has talked to her. I guess just deal with it i dont want to do tha

KRISSH
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:17 PM

MY DD WAS SAME WAY . SEE IS 7 NOW. STILL DOES IT . ALL I CAN DO IT GROUND HER AND HELP HER UNDERSTAND THAT IT,S NOT GOOD.

GOOD LUCK...MABIE SHE COULD TALK TO SOME ONE AT SCHOOL ABOUT HER FEALING.

 

 

                                    embarrassed

BRITNICKEL
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:19 PM

Honestly, my daughter went through the same thing, about the same age, I tried everything nothing worked. The more mad you get at her the worse it will be, trust me. I know this sounds horrible but, I told her that we would do something that she absolutly wanted to do and then when she thought it was time to go, I told her I am sorry we aren't doing anything. She said "Mom you lied to me!" I said your right how does it feel. Then we sat down and talked about why it is so important to tell the truth.

ashybaby87
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:34 PM

As wrong as that sounds, i think its a good idea to try if you've tried everything else.

Quoting BRITNICKEL:

Honestly, my daughter went through the same thing, about the same age, I tried everything nothing worked. The more mad you get at her the worse it will be, trust me. I know this sounds horrible but, I told her that we would do something that she absolutly wanted to do and then when she thought it was time to go, I told her I am sorry we aren't doing anything. She said "Mom you lied to me!" I said your right how does it feel. Then we sat down and talked about why it is so important to tell the truth.




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BRITNICKEL
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:37 PM

I know I almost didn't reply, but believe you me I had tried everything and she was starting to lie at school to, but that did the trick.

Quoting ashybaby87:

As wrong as that sounds, i think its a good idea to try if you've tried everything else.

Quoting BRITNICKEL:

Honestly, my daughter went through the same thing, about the same age, I tried everything nothing worked. The more mad you get at her the worse it will be, trust me. I know this sounds horrible but, I told her that we would do something that she absolutly wanted to do and then when she thought it was time to go, I told her I am sorry we aren't doing anything. She said "Mom you lied to me!" I said your right how does it feel. Then we sat down and talked about why it is so important to tell the truth.



littlemommy_of4
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:41 PM


Quoting ashybaby87:

As wrong as that sounds, i think its a good idea to try if you've tried everything else.

Quoting BRITNICKEL:

Honestly, my daughter went through the same thing, about the same age, I tried everything nothing worked. The more mad you get at her the worse it will be, trust me. I know this sounds horrible but, I told her that we would do something that she absolutly wanted to do and then when she thought it was time to go, I told her I am sorry we aren't doing anything. She said "Mom you lied to me!" I said your right how does it feel. Then we sat down and talked about why it is so important to tell the truth.


thank you mommas for you help ill keep trying and update.

noplacelike_ohm
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 9:12 PM
kids lie. That's just a fact and any mom who thinks their darling little angel tells the truth always is delusional. It's a constant struggle and eventually you'll be able to tell the difference for the most part on which is lie and which is not. Like someone else said, having something shocking happen to her because of her lies will probably be the best route...like telling her you'll do something then at the last minute not do it to make her understand how her lies affect other people. Right now her thoughts are all about her, how is she going to benefit from her lie, how is she going to get out of trouble, etc... honestly it isn't until she actually begins to comprehend how other people's thoughts and feelings really matter that the lieing will begin to slow down and stop. Just punishing her for lieing only makes her a better liar. You'll have to let her get knocked on her butt as a result of her behavior before she changes it for herself.
BrendanMom
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 2:24 AM

Good luck!

Just make sure you tell the truth no matter what because to some as in lying to kids may work but it may end up backfiring back at you in later years .

My mom was not a honest person even though she played out to be and I knew how real she was but when I tried to tell people about the 'way she was' I was treated with shame shame on how you  treat your mom that way she done so much for you .

So she decided to say I make up and tell stories about what she does and she still hasn't gotten out of that behavior either  'sigh' only people on message boards I can actually share what my mom does or says as in full time toxicity.

But with my mom lying so much in my childhood years and teen years so I decided to take after her route of lying for a bit.

Which my mom still lies and sneaks arounds with hiding things like taking my son in a unharnessed booster and she didn't tell me til  4 months later when she's trying to get my son in a booster!

I'm an open book now these days but no matter how open I am just lay supscion on me .

She thinks I'm hiding stuff and for heaven's sake I'm 31  yrs old she doesn't need to know everything or what I do .

But she was like oh that is why you wanted your son so badly to go on the camping trip with us  when she later on finds out i had hosted a women's group to go to a movie.

Or freaking out if she finds out someones been spending the nite at my house oh and when my son's father who is my ex  I felt it was right for him to stay in our area but oh mom never found that out oh she would have had a cow if she did!

She goes don't try online dating then because those ppl are weirdo's and  I'm like sheesh so pre-judgmental I meet different people every time a 'stranger signs up for playgroup or social meetups .

The above is for friend ship so if you can do that with 'strangers ' that could be many different ppl I'm for sure it wouldn't be that different than going on a 'blind date ' kwim ?

I said I had to get a money order for a bill - she called me a liar when she saw it was to a gal in Ohio - should have just put on it Girl Scout Cookies .

I said mom it's for Girls Scouts so what's a big lie about that ? I ordered girl scout cookies so they are in so I'm paying for them.

When my son confronts my mom in a lying position she blames it on me and says don't listen to your mom she's just too hyper senstive .

Then he stands up for me and says no she's not and don't talk about my mom like that.

My mom thinks it's a competition between me & her - she doesn't care that she is even putting my son at the bad stuff .

So I'm saying if you lie you teach you kids to lie then you will end up in lies that you will actually end up believing the truth as in other people are lying but your not.

Believe me it's not a fun position to go through.

So keep praticing honesty and whether they believe you or not .

 you are better off knowing and teaching your dd to be honest with herself just like you would be honest with yourself

 

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