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interested in opinions or advice.

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:29 PM
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i have a delema. my husband and i got into an aguement over something really stupid, groceries that he wanted, and he blew up at me and hasn't spoken to me in 4 days. he has started sleeping down stairs and eating out. i don't get it and i even tried emailing him as a way of talking to him. he won't respond. i then told him that if this was how it was then i would leave because this has happened before and i don't think i am what he wants and he resents me because i stay home to take care of our son and he has to work...i am also 7 mo. pregnant. we have fights now and again but never this long. i don't know what to do. how long do i wait before i make arrangements to leave,?i can't even do that until the baby is born.

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:29 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Jenn74
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:48 PM

Do you want it to be over? I would try to talk to him one more time and tell him that you were making one last effort to get it worked out...If he still didnt talk to me then i would move out...Jenn

Amy_xoxo
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:59 PM

I think you need to sit him down and give him the whole, "we are both mature adults here" thing. Make him talk to you and figure out what the problem is! Not talking for that long is not ok. Sounds like he is being a little immature. I would not email or text anything anymore. Just sit down face to face and talk. If he refuses to talk to you then make your arrangements and explain that your son and your unborn baby must not be important enough for him to work this out! And leave it at that.

anetrnlov
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 6:37 AM

I have to be honest....I'll be damned if I will ever allow my marriage to end over something so stupid.

If it were my husband I would do a couple of things:

1) I would buy whatever groceries it was that he is pissed off about, put them in front of him and then flat out ask him what THE REAL issue is as I doubt it is groceries.

2) If he is coming home and then leaving to get something to eat I would hide his keys.  If he is eating before he comes home I would remove his ability to eat out....take his cash, cards, etc.

3) If he was sleeping downstairs then I would lock our bedroom door, and park my ass where he sleeps and stay there until he says something.

The point is I would push until he talked to me. Granted this wouldn't be my first line of defense but after 4 days and everything else that he is doing then yes I would.  It is very obvious that this is about more than groceries and you are going to have to make him talk.


BethInWI
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 7:08 AM

I would be incredibly worried! I mean this to me seems like a way of  Brain washing/controll... He is putting fear in you and no one has that right ! It seems that he thinks he should punish you.. and marriage isnt about punishing anyoone. While you will always have disagreements and arguments no one should be punished for them... I think you do need to leave. Seperate yourself from the whole situation and dont wait till the baby is born. Tell him that you deserve better and that if he wants to act like a child then he can do it on his own because this is NO way to raise children. and you are an Adult and deserve to be treated as such. Ignorning you for 4 days warrents something esle is going on and untill he is man enough to just come out with it you dont need the stress. So go away go to your folks or a friends and ride it out there untill he sees that his "punishment" has backfired and that you wont be walked alll over ...

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:34
lalia262000
by on Feb. 15, 2009 at 8:40 AM

There is obvisously something going on other than the food. My husband got mad over food once and I told him that if he wanted stuff to go with me or make a list.

His food issue though turned into alot more and other things started happening and I am not with him anymore. The food wasn't the reason I left it just added to it because that was his way of controlling another part of me and what I do. Make sure he knows that you two need to talk and you really should find out what else is bothering him.

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