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How Can I Prepare Myself?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 7:02 PM
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It's almost bedtime, which is at 8PM. My dd has her usual bedtime temper tantrum forcing her grandma to put her to sleep every night. Grandma will also lie down with her and leave when she's asleep. Sometimes she ends up spending the night there. When my dd wakes up in the middle of the night, she refuses to let me even touch her to get her back to sleep. She only wants grandma. She used to be a good sleeper when we were sleep training her since 6 months. After 19 months, grandma got too involved and dd wasn't even sleeping in her own room anymore, she was sleeping with grandma and grandpa downstairs. Finally, I tried the Sleepeasy Solution method, but it didn't work because grandma was having a hard time putting up with the screaming and she always "rescued" her. Tonight I'm gonna try to use the Supernanny method; everytime she gets out of bed or her room I will put her back. How can I prepare myself to break her habit of sleeping with grandma and get her sleeping independently? I'm most concerned about grandma getting involved again at bedtime which I DON'T WANT. What worked for your kids when you were weaning them from co-sleeping? She is 2 years old and 2 months. But very advanced for her age and knows how to manipulate grandma to get her to stay in the room.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 7:02 PM
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by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 7:27 PM

Not for nothing, but the problem doesn't seem like it's with your daughter, it's sounds like it's with grandma. Have a talk with her about how important it is that your daughter go to sleep and stay asleep on her own. That the best way she can help is by backing YOU up and the methods you implement. If she goes and "rescues" your daughter, she's only creating confusion and reinforcing your daughter to wake up and not have a good nights rest.

Once you have a united front with grandma, I think things will go a lot better with your daughter.


by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 9:57 PM

She finally fell asleep at 9:45 after many many times of coming out of her room and me picking her up and putting her back to bed. she was very persistant about getting grandma to come, but she didn't get what she wanted. My mom at one point threated me that she was going to call SS-I don't give a f**k I said nothing and kept trying to get my dd to stay in bed.

by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 8:32 AM

I don't know.....Our kids never co-slept w/ us.  They may crawl into bed w/ us every once in awhile or when they were little they may crawl in in the middle of the night and then we let them fall asleep and put them back in their beds.  They never done this every night for to long though.  Maybe a few weeks then they'd get tired of it for a while, then they'd do it again.

I don't see anything wrong w/ wanting to teach them to stay in their own bed at all. But at the same time I don't see anything wrong w/ them wanting to bunk w/ you or Grandma too.  You can always put her back to bed when she falls asleep.  Especially w/ Grandma's, they live for their Grandkids and they have the extra time and patience to spend w/ them.  They are not going to be little forever and eventhough we need to teach them to stay in their bed, we also need to cherish the little things like laying w/ each other and cuddling at bed time.  They won't be little for very long, eventually they'll be pushing you away.  Maybe you can have her set a kitchen timer for like 5 minutes or more and tell her Grandma can stay until this goes off.  This way she has something concrete to see and hear.

Our oldest is 6, so she doesn't crawl into bed w/ us much anymore, but now when she does I snuggle right beside her and enjoy every moment.  This is just my opinion, I hope it helps.  If you really feel strongly about it then talk to your Mom.  But something I would also wonder, are you doing this for your dd or are you doing this to win a battle w/ Grandma and show her who's boss?  Sorry, I don't wanna sound mean, but after reading your post I was just wondering.

by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 8:57 AM

i am sure grandma is just trying to help but she is over doing it.  I think what ever u can do to bring peace to your house would be great cause while i understand your dd is pushing everyones buttons it isn't good for anyone to be so stressed out! My oldest two (twins) were a fight to get to sleep in there own beds. My son and youngest daughter i decided to back off a litlle bit about it.  If Mason fell asleep on the couch watching t.v.  at 7 then i just carried him to his bed.  If i have to lay down with victoria, who is also 2, to get her to sleep i do and then put her in her own bed. I decided it wasn't worth the fight...

by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 1:25 PM

OMG you sound like I did when my oldest daughter was about that age. I am way familiar with this situation, and honestly after have 3 more after still am..First of all, you need to sit down with Grandma and let her know you are the parent, and you will raise your children the way you see fit. But be understanding to grandma, by letting her know you are just helping out but its time let you take the role of parent, and how she has raised her children. You know she means well and all her threats of calling SS means nothing cause they won't do anything.

You are doing a great job with your daughter, keep reassuring her you are still there, but when it comes to bedtime, that is just what it is. It may take some time for adjust your daughter to become independent, then being co-dependent when it comes to bedtime. It's just training her a different way then always having someone there at bedtime. Keep up the great work, and just reassure grandma if you need her, you will ask but until then you are the parent and what you say goes.

You are just a click away to all the Mayhem:

by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 5:12 PM

So today, she hasn't had a nap since we played all day outside. Last night was hard, but she finally fell asleep. I ended up staying in the room (bad, I know-she was holding me hostage) and I snuck out when she was asleep. She slept the whole night and woke up only twice. The first time she wanted me to stay the second time she put herself back to sleep! This is gonna be night two. Should I stay in the room again and sneak out? Or would that set up another bad habit I would have to break? Please I need to know by tonight!

by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 9:39 PM

At first the usual battle of leaving grandma and going into bedtime routine mode. Luckily, she's been tired from running around all day and before she went to Mcdonald's playplace. She was kicking and screaming when I told her its time to listen to grandpa song (her grandpa R.I.P has been a lifesaver!) he was a musician back in the 70s. Ever heard of Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band? Stony Browder? August Darnell? Anywho, I digress. She closed her eyes and started to relax while I rocked her to grandpa song. I didn't let her fall asleep completely though, then we had her favorite story (with no screaming), then hugs and kisses and her dollies and I said goodnight and walked out. She begged me to stay, but I said no. She kept walking out of the room screaming, and I kept walking her and tucking her in her bed. She did this only 7 times (last night more than 20) before mumbling something to her dollies and fell asleep at 9:20! I know its a little late, but I'm new to this thing..I'll try to get her to sleep at 8PM but do I begin the routine earlier or do the routine at 8PM?Any advice will help. I'm using the Supernanny method for those of you who just read my post today.

by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 9:43 PM

my mom tried getting my kids to sleep with her then my horns came out.  i refused it cause if i hadnt thrown such a huge fight over it i be having ur problem now.  just keep putting her back to bed it will be a fight for a while but it wont last forever.


by on Apr. 10, 2009 at 3:02 PM

I am a grandma of 5 grandchildren. I am so sorry that you are put in that situation with grandma. I do not ever over step my boundaries with my son and DIL and grandkids. My grandchildren know that grandma loves them to death but I will not ever go against my son's way of discipline or my DIL's. I do spoil them but in a good way. Grandma will buy them things when their parents can't. I will also help with the discipline but I do keep in mind that I have to go with what mom & dad want and how they want to do things. Please, keep in mind, though, that sometimes I do not agree. I would never go against them, because I know if I would they will feel the same way about me like you do about your child's grandma and I couldn't live with that.I also keep in mind when my children were small,I would not of allowed it for my mom or MIL to step in my way,so, maybe that is why. I am glad that your child is doing a little better. It will be over soon ,so ,just hang in there. Montylyn

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