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Help with bully at school!

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:02 PM
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My son just started riding the bus after 2 years of trying to get him to ride it.  He has anxiety really bad, and we finally got him past that!  So him and a little girl are playing on the bus, and somehow she gets hurt.  He apologizes and there are no hard feelings!  They still sit together!  So the older brother goes home, and his dad tells him to hit my son.  So now, the whole bus is making fun of him and this kid hit my son.  The bus won't do anything about it because they didn't see anything!  What am I supposed to tell my son to do? If he hits back, then they are both off the bus for good! He won't hit back, even if I told him to, because he is to afraid of getting in trouble!  So I call the school, and they want me to help him solve it another way... HOW?  What are you supposed to tell you kids when things like this happen?  I can't let him sit there and be hit, and not do anything!  Any help would be so great, I am completely frustrated with this!  AND.. my husband already talked with the dad.. no good there..

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:02 PM
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Replies (1-9):
BrunetteMomma
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:09 PM

I had an issue with my son and a " difficult " child last year as well. I went to the teacher and principal everyday until they seperated them. This kid was punching my son, telling him he was going to kill him and so on and so on, for months before I realized how serious it was and thats when I took action with the school.

Is there any possible way to get him off the bus and drive him?

mommyworkathome
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:12 PM

That is what my husband and I have decided to do for now.  What do we do when things start happening at school though? I don't want him to get int trouble, but he needs to be able to stand up for himself to!

jroseh68
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:18 PM

I wonder if the school would be interested in a mediation meeting.  Maybe have the kids and parents all sit down together and figure out what caused the problem and how it can be fixed.  I wouldnt let it go as well.  The problem with some school systems is they don't always take things serious enough.  Basically your kid has to be in serious danger for them to do anything, when in fact if they took care of the little situations, the big ones would not happen.  Have you thought about talking to the parents?  Maybe if the school doesnt want to be involved in mediating, you can go to the bus stop where the other child gets on and talk to the parents about it. 

Jennifer
KALELnAYDENSMOM
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:11 PM

sounds like ur dealing with great people telling their kids to hit another child!Most buses these days have cameras check into it and take action from there if not go to the princible and if thats no good go to the school attendent! (sorry for spelling) but i agree dnt let this go things will get worse if u dnt take action!

rollinthunder
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 9:29 AM

oh my. I might be getting myself in trouble here. But i must speek out. I drive a school bus. Yes it is true we  can not punish just on hear say, we must see it or hear it ourselves. I would ask the driver to move you son to another seat, They can do that.

Yes buses have cameras but parents can not view them. You could call the Transportation department and ask for a supervisor to view the tape and have them get to the bottom of it. (if they work),  My district will.  I work very close with my parents. And my Supervisers

As a diver you want the parents on your side. I call my parents for help and it works. But i also give my kids candy (only on Friday) to be good.  Thay must follow the rules and work together.  We call it our treasure box. They can loose it as well. 

 On the Drivers behalf, I have 65 kids on at one time and it is very hard to see everything. We do our best. But if a parent said hay this is going on and could you please move my child.  I would or move the other child. We are aloud to assign seats and i do.  Hope this helps.

Rollinthunder

ChesterGirl
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 9:39 AM

If i were you , Id call that kids dad and give him a piece a my mind 1st of all  . If the kid keeps on , Ill tell ya to tell him like my daddy told me ''if they start a fight , you damn well better finish it'' . He's going to have to stick up for himself at some point or he will be torched all through school . When I was in 5th grade there was a girl that was horribly mean to me , every single day . She dicided to punch me just bc she thought she could one day and I beat her ass . Broke her glasses and blacked both of her eyes (I was lil , but after a while , I had alot of rage ..lol) . When it was all said and done , I didteven get in trouble . They suspended HER and said that I was just defending myself , which I was . Course I live way down south and for some reason , that kinda thing is viewed a lil differently here .

mommyworkathome
by on Aug. 30, 2009 at 6:50 PM

We are going to talk with the bus driver about moving him, and trying to keep an eye on them. I understand they have a lot going on, and if it wasn't something that everyone made a big scene about, then she probably didn't know it happened!  I have been talking with his teacher, and I think things are going to be resolved!  It's just hard to kown what to tell your children to do.  Zero tollerance is on both ends, even if he is defending himself, he will be in trouble also....

MomNtheRes
by on Aug. 30, 2009 at 9:58 PM

Being in trouble at home and being in trouble at school are two different things. I was terrified of my Mom finding out I was in trouble more than getting in trouble at school. And I agree, being from the south the rule in my house was "You better not start a fight, but you better d*mn well finish it!" I didn't get into a lot of fights, but I also want to make sure my daughter can defend herself. One important life lesson is not to let yourslef get pushed around, no matter how old you are! Good luck though, I understand how frustrating it can be dealing with an un-helpful school system.

Alaina623
by Group Admin on Aug. 30, 2009 at 10:22 PM

The school NEEDS to help the issue get solved..... If the parent is encouraging the behavior they do need to be involved as well. That is rediculous!

Alaina

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