One piece of advice you could give another oilfield momma?

[Ellie_Mae]

What is ONE piece of advice that you would like to pass onto another of your oilfield momma buddies about being an "oilfield widow"?



My advice is to get to know the wives of other men that work with your husband. It has made my life a lot easier making these ladies as friends who know the lifestyle and the demands of the lifestyle. We "get" each other and often have the same free time to occupy.

[calliemist]

That is great advice and I honestly wished I live closer to other women/wives who were in the same as me . That would help a great deal with community.

[Wolfe_Pack_Mom]

I would have to agree with that.  Finding other people to talk to you understand what you're talking about helps a bunch.  Even if its a wonderful group like this.  I told my husband about this group and at first he thought it was kind of silly.  But once I explained to him how nice it was to be able to talk about his work, his schedule etc.. and not go into mass amounts of explaination was so nice he understood.  I love that I can say "week and week" or "two and two" and you all know I'm not speaking some sort of foreign language!

[RGAMLS]

One piece of advice I'd give to a oilfield momma is alway be patient and no matter how hard it is when he is gone working on the road and gone away from his family and try not to cry it only makes things worse and harder for your husband.

[Just_Bethy]

Quoting RGAMLS:

One piece of advice I'd give to a oilfield momma is alway be patient and no matter how hard it is when he is gone working on the road and gone away from his family and try not to cry it only makes things worse and harder for your husband.

I have to agree.."Suck it up and get on with it"..Life on the rig is bad enough with the danger, dirt, weather and the noise without our nagging in the back ground...


Drillers Wife, Toughest Job In The Oil Field.

[roughneckswife]

this is sooo true, but I cant help but cry like a baby when he leaves

Quoting Just_Bethy:

Quoting RGAMLS:

One piece of advice I'd give to a oilfield momma is alway be patient and no matter how hard it is when he is gone working on the road and gone away from his family and try not to cry it only makes things worse and harder for your husband.

I have to agree.."Suck it up and get on with it"..Life on the rig is bad enough with the danger, dirt, weather and the noise without our nagging in the back ground...


Drillers Wife, Toughest Job In The Oil Field.

 ~*Denea*~

Join My group-- http://www.cafemom.com/group/roughneckswife

[4cornersmom]

I can't stand when there is a new wife to the oilfield and she doesn't think I have no clue what is to be an oilfield wife. She thinks that the field will stop when the kids have  a school program or a birthday. alot of people think I'm a singlemom cuz he never shows up for the kids events. I do get angry when we have plans and the job comes first.
But sometimes a wife does need to step to the plate and say hey you are needed at home. I take care of the homefront, kids, bills, shopping, making the important  phone calls. I ask of 3 things from him and he agrees that these are important.
    * Go to one out of two parent/teacher's meeting during the school year for our kids. He usually goes to the last one. The kids need to show him where they stand in the school system. That important to them
   * keep the maintence up on my car so I don't break down and be strandrd with 3 kids.
 * once in a while when not on call the phone stays in the truck and your attention is on your family and only your family.
 
Now with both daughter having major medical problems and I call you at work, from the doctor's appiontment listen to me fully and not half ass a decision needs to be made about thier well- fare

Some of his 1/2 ass listening skills have work in my advantage, the 10 year old is learning how to use it too. LOL

[oahoah]

Good advice posted here. I think my own lesson learned is that it doesn't do good for myself or the kids to wait until Dad's going to be home to go do family stuff.  So I've had to push myself extra hard to take the boys out to events that we would normally do as a family & although it's stressful just getting out the door sometimes with these 2 litle ones, we always end up having a great time. There's always a bit of sadness though about how much my DH misses but I know he's sad about it too.

[teriehl]

I've known a lot of wives who take advantage of him being gone. Spending like there's no tomarrow, etc. We have to do our part. They work really hard for the money and we should show our respect and appreciation by spending it wisely.
Nagging will get you nowhere. If this is his job and he loves it you're not gonna make him change by nagging/bitching, etc. It's like the military in a lot of ways. You have to just love him when he's there and love him when he's gone. Be a good mom to his kids, take care of his home and money.
And never ever ever disrepect him to or in front of his kids.He kows his job takes him away and I'll be it bothers him to. Me think differently than we do. We define who we are by our homes. kids, and family. Men....by their jobs. He is a driller or a derrick hand. It's just the way God made them.

[jenny4amber]

When I met my dh he did not work in the oil fields.  He had a job where he got off work at the same time everyday. Then there was an opening at his company where he works now about 12 years ago.  He applied and got the job. My first major hurdle was that he could possibly come home at 7:00 PM or sometime in the middle of the night. I used to call him bitching all the time. He finally sat my stupid ass down and explained that they can't just walk away when they want, they have to find a stopping point and make sure the rig is secure and the pipes are secure and that they did everything the forman had asked that day.  He also told me that I make him nervous and he can not work this way because there are other guys working that rely on each other so that no one gets hurt or killed.

That was 12 years ago, now I am the one that talks to the new ladies and try to explain what it is like, and if I get the chance I show them the video that my husband showed me. I just make sure I have a lined trash can ready for when they want to throw up.  That one video knocked the sense into me.  I do not call him while he is working, he calls me a couple times a day on his breaks. The next time someone says, I really need to talk to your husband or you and your husband should both be here, I am going to scream, they always say can't he take a day off work to see your daughter in the whatever it is, and I say I don't think he is going to take a $800.00 day for 15 mins to see something I always film and my dd knows he will see.  She is proud to tell people that her dad works in the oil fields.

[Ally79]

Hey It is hard. Yes. BUT OMG WAKE UP!

Don't think that life on the oil field is all hardship for these guys! My hubby works out in Tengiz. 28/28. He works REALLY hard, but you know what, he plays REALLY hard too! Those guys are out there in the middle of the desert, with no wives and no children and a WHOLE bunch of young sexy woman who all want to land an expat. Girls if you want to keep your man then you need to know what he is up to! Phone calls, sms's, emails, "work trips" etc etc etc. If you start get that prickly feeling that something is amiss, then something proabably is. Confront it, before it is to late.

Yes it is hard on husbands, but after 3 years of doing this sh1t, I think it is harder on wives.

Remember the old saying "may wives and girlfriends never meet"

These boys live for those rules.