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HELP.. I am at my wits end@

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:48 PM
  • 5 Replies

My 2 yr old started potty training when she started showing signs she was interested.  We had a lot of success at first, but now I just don't know what to do.  I have been given numerous reasons why she still has accidents, especiallg not wanting to poop on the potty or tell anyone she has pooped or needs to poop. 

"It is because of having a new baby in the house."

"She is afraid of the 'plop' of the poop in the toilet"

"It is because you had issues with your downstairs toilet" (it wouldn't flush so we were using the upstairs one)


These are all things my day care provider gave me in response to me stating that because she was put on the wall for having accidents at day care, she now sees these things as doing something wrong and will get punished.  Why would she want to draw attention to herself if this is what happens? The DCP doesn't see it as doing something wrong because she has potty trained kids for 20 years and has always had success. 

We have tried the timer, M&M reward for successes and "We'll do better next time" talks when something happens, even doing a "potty dance" to make a big deal out of it.  All seem to work and then we have a set back.  We communicate what we are trying to the DCP and she seems to be going along with it, but again, excuse after excuse for why she'll go through 4 training pants in a day or go ballistic when she (my daughter) has an accident.

I want my girl to be successful and not afraid of going to the restroom, but how can I?  I feel like I am just throwing time, money and my sanity down the drain.


**also have issues with thumb sucking and bedtime if anyone can help with those too**







by on Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:48 PM
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Replies (1-5):
allornone
by on Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:57 PM

IMO your dd is stressed.  Are you staying home with your new baby and is she going to daycare?  Your DCP is wrong.  My mom had a very successful Preschool and daycare. This is a very common issue.   Children have two things they can control eating and going to the bathroom.

Does she have this many accidents at home?  Are you allowed to put her in a pull up at daycare?  If so I would let her change it and put a clean one on.   She is still little.  Have you tried doing pretty underwear of her choice? My mom had a little girl (parents were divorced) who would wet her pants because dad would send other clothes in the bag then what her mom would put on her clothes from her house.  The little girl would wet all her clean clothes so she could wear her dads clothes because they were new.

If its to much for her try again in a few months. 

RobynS
by on Jan. 20, 2012 at 10:09 AM

I would be frustrated with your DCP more than your daughter! So much so that I might look for a new one. :(

I think I would give your DD the option of taking a break from PT--maybe a month or two so she can just relax! :) Then try again. But I don't think she should be punished for accidents. I had my DD clean up her own mess (pee only)--but I never yelled at her to do it--it was just a matter-of-fact thing, you make a mess, you clean it up. That seemed to help her.

Good luck!!

abra
by on Jan. 20, 2012 at 12:24 PM
I agree.

Quoting RobynS:

I would be frustrated with your DCP more than your daughter! So much so that I might look for a new one. :(

I think I would give your DD the option of taking a break from PT--maybe a month or two so she can just relax! :) Then try again. But I don't think she should be punished for accidents. I had my DD clean up her own mess (pee only)--but I never yelled at her to do it--it was just a matter-of-fact thing, you make a mess, you clean it up. That seemed to help her.

Good luck!!

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RavenMadd
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:41 PM

It took some time but things worked themselves out.  We didn't take a break, but I let her know that these are accidents and accidents happen.  I even went so far as to have a glass of water ready and when she had an accident one day, I spilled it on my pants.  we cleaned up our messes and got changed.  She laughed and so did I.  I lost my job in May so she is now home with me 24/7.  Potty training deprogramming from the DCP went hard but in about 6 weeks from taking over full time, she is doing a lot better and has even made outings around town in her big girl underwear.  She tells us she needs to go potty and I will run all over the store to get her there even if she just went.  Now, night time is going to be the next test.  We haven't braved that yet and probably won't until after our trip at the end of the month.  I don't want to over load her with too much responsibility too soon. 

WIFEANDMOMMY23
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:20 PM

I wouldn't push it. When she is ready she will do it on her own.

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