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Help, my 3yr old wont tell me when he has to pee.

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I have  been potty training my son for about a year off and on.  He turned 3 in January and I have been religously training him since, every day/night.  He doesn't fight me when I take him in, but he wont tell me when he has to go.  I have tried everything to get him to tell me, stickers, tattoo's match box cars, M & M's, but he wont tell me.  He poops in the potty only only because 95% of the time he goes at night before his bath so that's pretty much a schedual, but I can't get him to tell me that he has to pee, he wears underwear during the day, I figured if he pee'd himself he woudlnt like the feel of his since he's already a neat  Evidetnly that isn't working, he will pee himself and then tell me he has to go.  If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to give me an advice!  I talk to his Pedi about it and she told me to just let him run around with no pants and underwear, I just can't do that, my son has never walked around with out pants on, I am one of those type of moms that can't stand her child walking around the house half  So once again, if anyone has any advice for me, please chime in.

Thank you,


Mom to Domenic James ( DJ) 01/29/09

by on Apr. 2, 2012 at 9:27 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 5:22 PM

Believe you me, I know it's frustrating, they say you aren't suppose to yell at them, but sometimes he just gets me so upset, just like yours he will laugh, but thankfully he rarely puts up a fight when I say potty time or if he hears the alarm go off he will go, but he just wont tell me. I have him in underwear, I have it up to an hour now, then the alarm will go off and we go to the potty, I praise him, do a dance with him, but he just wont go on his own.  Im trying to calm down about it, he eventually will tell me, but it's hard when I hear from friends and family that have boys his age and younger, that their boys are already trained.  I know Im doing my best, either he doesn't know the feeling or he's just not ready.  Once again, it's good to hear that Im not alone!


Mom to Domenic James ( DJ) 01/29/09

by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 2:08 PM

 Well you are ahead of me! He wont go when I do drag him in there...He doesnt care to go in the potty. Doesnt care if he is wet, doesnt care about anything we home. Daycare he goes.

by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:18 PM

BB, he's probably not ready yet, I don't think my son is either, but I've been training him for a year and half and the half has been relgiously, so I've come this far, Im not going back. Now I have an alarm that goes off every hour, he hears it and scream pee pee time. I don't thing he knows the feeling, but Im hoping bye the summer he's on at least a scheduale, if that makes sense.  I will increase the alarm a little each week, this week, Im up to an hour and 10 min, so far so good, no accicdents, but once again, he's still not telling me, just cuz the alarm goes off, is when he knows. Good luck

by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 5:20 PM

Have you tried taking him to the bathroom every 2 or 3 hours? I had to train myself to do that with my oldest. He did the same thing but then i started taking him to the bathroom and letting him sit there until he pees. After a couple months he started to warm up to me and letting me know he needs to potty. Its a process though. I didn't have that trouble with my daughter though, thank God.

This helped me so much when i was having trouble with getting on the same page with my fiance on how we raise kids. We were raised with different backgrounds and our techniques clash sometimes. So we used talking to taoddlers and it helped so much. Before you even decide weather if you want this program there is a free lesson which gives you an idea of how it works. Intrested  Click Here!

by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 5:40 PM

UHH, this is exactly what is happening with me and my DD.  

If I remember to take her every hour to hour and a half, things are fine but let me test her and not say anything - sure enough there is an accident!  It is so very frustrating and I try my best not to say anything to get her upset but it is really starting to upset me.  

She always agrees with me, Yes, I will tell you when I have to go the bathroom but nothing happens when I try to test her.

I just don't know what to do.  I have not done the naked thing yet cause we have rugs in parts of the house and it has not been warm enough for us to stay outside for long.

I have heard others talk about a potty watch and I guess you can set the watch to 1hr , 2 hr, etc... and an alarm goes off.  They say it helps there kids to remember to go.  Do you think the kids forget or are they just too lazy to go when they have the urge???  Anyway, I am getting desperate so I might try this method next .

by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:15 AM

I tried the potty alarm using my phone and as soon as my son heard the  alarm screamed pee pee time, I did it for a couple of months.  No change, I think in my sons case, he doesn't know that sensation, thankfully he doesn't argue when I tell him it's time to potty, I do it every hour to every hour and half, I know eventually he'll get it, it is frustrating, but I've learned to not get mad if he has an accident because that will just discourage him more.  Just remember, their not going to be in pull ups/diapers forever.  I have him in underwear all day except for naps and bedtime. 


Mom to Domenic James ( DJ) 01/29/09

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:01 PM

im having the same issue with my 4 year old son. when in pull ups he doesn't tell me at all but when i have him in diapers he constantly tells me he has to go but won't tell me before he goes in his pants. i have tried rewards, taking him in the restroom with me when i go, and nothing seems to be working. there is 4 adults in the house (1 woman "me" and 3 men) only me and the oldest male in the house take my son to the bathroom with us (well the old male takes him cause my son pushes his way in there with him) the other 2 males in the house don't tend to my son the way that i do. (one of them is his father) i have told them all several times to help me poty train him and they aggreed but never do so its prity much all up to me. ive even tried putting him on a time schedule of every 15 minutes or aftre he eats and drinks. but that isn't even working. im scared to let him just run around in a shirt cause he has a habbit of taking the shirt off. and he doesn't listen to me at all. im all out of ideas of what to do...

can you help?confused

by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 6:39 PM

my son will tell me right after he already went!

so we are starting stand up potty training and there is no dad in the house to help us learn!

i try to tell him to hold his peepee tube but he ill never do it. please help on how i should teach him

by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 7:42 AM
My son is the same way the only time I can get him to tell me is when we do naked potty training. But as soon as the clothes go back on he pees in them. It is frustrating beyond belief because I know that he understands when he needs to go. We have been potty training for about a year and when we first started he would tell me he needed to go and he just stopped telling me. He completly regressed. So now I am trying to potty train my almost 3 year old STILL and starting to potty train my 16 month old.
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 1:38 PM

My son will tell me when he has to go if he has no bottoms on but with the cold weather I can not do it anymore and with a pull up or underwear he will just go. Unless we are in a public place then he is always wanting to go. And today he is refusing to go when I take him and telling me he does not want to go. I am forcing him on the toilet.

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