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Is it normal? To feel tired being just SAHM?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 1:47 PM
  • 13 Replies
I would love to share a story. Today, we have been visiting my daughter's future school and we got lucky to meet a nice teacher, who made for us a tour. After long conversation, I asked how many kids do you have? She answered me smiling: 2, ages 6 and 2. The thing, that positively inspired me is that the teacher had her hair done, her manicure was perfect and she was dressed properly. My question is:

That normal, that I feel sleep deprived and get angry fast for small things, during the day, while raising 2 years old and 4 year old?

Am I a bad example of motherhood, in comparison to that teacher (I do not official work during the day, except for making my kids happy)? She is smiling and looks well balanced and all put together. I feel like cranky toddler next to her. I do co-sleeping, and my toddler has unpredictable sleeping habits some nights. I do the cooking, the organizing, the cleaning, personal hygiene, groceries and similar things. How come I'm not shining as she is? Do I take parenting too seriously? Or maybe she just have a full time nanny and deals with kids on "hi and good luck" basis? What do you think?
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 1:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SewEcoMommy
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 1:04 AM

Being a SAHM is hard work. I hate to admit it but Wednesday-Monday I night not get a brush run through my hair until dinner time, (Tuesday- I have a class in the evenings so I get dressed, do my hair and makeup early because I am going to be out) It is hard to find a minute some days to get a cute outfit and look on when I have a screaming 3 year old and cranky teething 4 month old. Between cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, potty training, nursing I don't have a minute for myself most days. I see mom's who seam to have it all together, but I have been told on Tuesdays(mostly) that I have my act together and things under control. I just always try to get myself in order before I leave my house, it's part of that fake it till you make it thing. One day I may really have it all under control, and look amazing while doing it.

jenahrae1991
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 1:15 AM
i feel the same, dont you just "hate" those moms who make it look "easy" ??? Lol ill stay in pjs all day and make sure the kids get what they need while i do what i need to for the house, when i get up to change that dailys first diaper ill brush my teeth and go back to bed... Because i wont have time to later, my hair stays in a bun inless iv just washed it, and its jeans and a t-shirt when its time to go out...with flip flops...eyeliner&mascara. But my kids always look amazing lol i go nuts sometimes but if iv got a minute like when im on here, finding something to laugh about is worth it, and remembering cute moments in the day, id like to say it gets easier but were not past diapers yet, working on it, so time will only tell :)
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LadyGI
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 5:57 AM
Quoting SewEcoMommy:

Being a SAHM is hard work. I hate to admit it but Wednesday-Monday I night not get a brush run through my hair until dinner time, (Tuesday- I have a class in the evenings so I get dressed, do my hair and makeup early because I am going to be out) It is hard to find a minute some days to get a cute outfit and look on when I have a screaming 3 year old and cranky teething 4 month old. Between cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, potty training, nursing I don't have a minute for myself most days. I see mom's who seam to have it all together, but I have been told on Tuesdays(mostly) that I have my act together and things under control. I just always try to get myself in order before I leave my house, it's part of that fake it till you make it thing. One day I may really have it all under control, and look amazing while doing it.




thanks for your answer. So, being all beautiful and dressed up and having things under control is kind of a duty for being outside the home.
LadyGI
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 6:00 AM
Quoting jenahrae1991:

i feel the same, dont you just "hate" those moms who make it look "easy" ??? Lol ill stay in pjs all day and make sure the kids get what they need while i do what i need to for the house, when i get up to change that dailys first diaper ill brush my teeth and go back to bed... Because i wont have time to later, my hair stays in a bun inless iv just washed it, and its jeans and a t-shirt when its time to go out...with flip flops...eyeliner&mascara. But my kids always look amazing lol i go nuts sometimes but if iv got a minute like when im on here, finding something to laugh about is worth it, and remembering cute moments in the day, id like to say it gets easier but were not past diapers yet, working on it, so time will only tell :)



you said it. you put jeans and t-shirts, but your kids look amazing. Mine too. My children are dressed up more nice than average kids we see. And I believe, that my effort goes far when we consider behavior and manners, and dress code for out. Even for home, my children always look beautiful. I'm out of diapers with my 4 year old, and learning for fun with my 2 year old to be.
MrsTBailey
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 6:01 AM
I think that you made more than one post with this question and i gave you my answer in one of those other groups!
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Toots789
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 6:26 AM
I was a sahm for 4 years to my two little guys and now I'm working. The difference between you and women like the teacher is that she gets breaks from her kids! When I was home, getting a break wasn't an option, I was with the kids 24/7. Now I (and other working moms) get time away. Time to calm down about whatever the kids did that morning, or what kind of craziness I'm going to come home to. You do not get that same type of break. Plus a lot of working moms feel an obligation to get even more 'me' time to get their hair and makeup done because they work. Personally I don't understand that; I belive that sahm's deserve the break, not the working ones like me :).
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LadyGI
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 4:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting MrsTBailey:

I think that you made more than one post with this question and i gave you my answer in one of those other groups!



Yes, I did. And thank you for replying. :)
LadyGI
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 4:59 PM
Quoting Toots789:

I was a sahm for 4 years to my two little guys and now I'm working. The difference between you and women like the teacher is that she gets breaks from her kids! When I was home, getting a break wasn't an option, I was with the kids 24/7. Now I (and other working moms) get time away. Time to calm down about whatever the kids did that morning, or what kind of craziness I'm going to come home to. You do not get that same type of break. Plus a lot of working moms feel an obligation to get even more 'me' time to get their hair and makeup done because they work. Personally I don't understand that; I belive that sahm's deserve the break, not the working ones like me :).



I made a positive improvement in our daily routine: have introduced rewards' chart and made for myself 90 minutes break ( when I put my babies to sleep). We will see how it goes, but the break time has much needed positive influence on the way I feel about parenting 24/7.
081499
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 5:18 PM

It's quite simple...It's part of her job to be presentable and a good first impression of her work environment.  She's paid to look nice and have a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.  That's not part of a SAHM's job discription.  Thankfully!!  ;)

Also, you have to remember you only saw a tiny part of her day.  It's quite possible that her morning was fully of spilled cherrios and poopy diapers and her getting up at 4 am just to look as good as she did when you met.  

I'm sure you're doing just fine, Mama.  

Wendsdy
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 6:03 PM

I have a 2 year old and 4 year old too. I lost my job a year ago so I've been a stay at home Mom since then. Loving every minute of it...except the having no money. Its stressful and depressing. Saying that, most days, I don't get a shower. Most days as I walk through the living room, I'm hearing cheerios crunching under my feet.  When I do clean up the kids room, I walk in their rooms a minute later and everything is all over the place again.  Now keep in mind I clean once a week but that must be bad because when I'm cleaning up, my 4 year old daughter asks who is coming over. Meaning, I only straigten up when expecting someone. I rarely get a brush through my hair. I live in sweats. Sometimes I give up and just sit on the couch and look around at the mess and think....I can't clean it up again.  The other thing about your post...the teacher was expecting you. She probably got it together for the tour. Go to her house on a weekend and I bet she hasn't had a shower and she is tripping over toys :)

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