Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Incident at VBS,Frustrated vent! Need suggestions Please!!!!!

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:44 AM
  • 2 Replies
  • 316 Total Views

We had an incident tonight at our VBS,  How can some people call themselves Christians.

We just moved to Ohio & found a great little church but after tonight I'm beginning to question it. My son just turned 4 & has aspergers and they are trying to rule out adhd. We went to the VBS (his 1st one) and he was not behaving in the proper or should I say expected way, not sitting in the chair listening. My hubby & I were both there watching & determining if we should take him out & try another time when a lady I never met from the Church said to me is that your son, you should take him out this is too much for him. I said we are determining that, we were trying to wait when they broke it down to the age groups. I think he'd have been OK then. He did go to preschool  last year & loved it. he wants to be social but doesn't know how to (an age & aspergers thing) He wasn't being that bad I've seen a lot worse & well a few of the people that help with the kids on Sundays were there & they didn't say anything to us. I talked to the one lady & she said give it till they break into their groups.
Well the lady that said to me that it may be to much for him went over & was talking to another person I don't know that was helping (I was supposed to help in the preschool group so he'd have been OK) and I overheard her say I don't know why those parents brought him what were they thinking? at that point I want &told the one lady we were taking him out & she saw how upset I was tried to talk me into staying for the age groups. I was going to but the big mouthed lady came over & said oh yes it's too much for him you are very kind of you take him so he wont disturb the others. I'm a teacher & I know these kids he'd be upset that he couldn't follow the directions & do the craft right.  I was so mad I left in tears. Todd got our son & the big mouth followed us out cause she say me crying but just kept making it worse. 

I ask this if we cant take our child to church were can we take him?  After all Didn't Jesus say "bring the little children to me" ?  He loved our old church in PA, they did a lot more with the kids and I guess understood better how to handle all types of kids.  I was on our Praise team there & even brought him to practise with me, he'd bring his toy guitar "to jam for Jesus"  his own words. :) Any suggestions, I want him to continue to like church, and really don't want to have to change Churches.

Thanks for listening!
Hugs,
Maggie

by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
fabrienne
by New Member on Aug. 1, 2007 at 5:24 PM
Awww, My heart breaks for you. I know that hurt so much!!! Unfortunately there are people that just don't understand our children christian or not, and can say the cruelest things.  If you really like this church and don't want to leave it, and you would be strong to walk back in with your head held high, then I would suggest you and your husband and son calling the pastor of the church, including his wife over for dinner or out to dinner and make it very personal.  Explain to him just how much you and your family loves the Lord and tell him about your son.  Educate him on things about your son and tell him that he may not always sit in a chair but you want him to feel the Love of Jesus as Jesus is his creator, and have the pastor introduce you and your family to the church.  Maybe he can mention at the end of a service that you are a new family that they are so happy to have, and inform the whole church that you have a son with Autism and would like the congregation to learn more about it so that he is welcomed in Jesus name and loved by everyone.  I think that if this church has a heart for Jesus, they will be eager to help your son and invite you in their church family with all thier love.  Good Luck and God bless!!!
melissab1998
by New Member on Aug. 11, 2007 at 12:43 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your experience.   We were fortunate to find a small church in our area that adores my son Jacob.   They have embraced him and his differences.   They cheered with us as he started walking at the age of 3 and a half.   I try to keep him quiet during services but it doesnt seem to bother them when he breaks out in an impromptu OLd McDonald's Farm during services or hollars "Bye Bye Buddy " as the preacher concludes the sermon.   I worried during VBS that Jacob wouldnt fit in and have problems participating.   Do you think it would help if you sat next to him while they were doing their thing?   My husband sits with Jacob during those "children" activities and calms Jacob down when he does his arm flap thing.    
I know its hard to find a church where you feel at home and want to be a part of.  Maybe you could talk to those "offenders" about how you felt.     When Jacob changed Sunday school classes and moved up I worried about him not being able to participate.   His teacher has had the class for years and wasnt prepared for Jacob.  She gave them markers which he used to draw on himself.  She talked to me after services and said that maybe it wasnt for him.  She told me that she couldnt get him to look at her or respond to her questions.   I was relieved!  I was afraid he would try to bite or that a child would be mean to him.  I told her that I understood if she felt he wasnt ready.  Told her that his not responding to her was his autism and that once he got to know her better he would.   I offered to move him back to his old Sunday school class which wasnt as structured.  It seemed that while services went on she thought about it and decided that she was the one that needed to adjust not Jacob.   Maybe you could help those people at church understand your son better?   Good luck and God bless!
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)