Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

"You should really start your own play-group...."

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 12:42 AM
  • 10 Replies
  • 338 Total Views

"...you know, for women more your age."


Said the 33 year old mom with the playgroup consisting of 28 through 36 year old moms and their kids.  She was smiling and nodding.  I'd only asked what day their group met.  It actually hadn't crossed my mind to join them.  I'm only five months along and that seems like a hundred years away. 

I was absolutely stunned.  I just nodded and changed the subject and left a few minutes later.  That was this morning.  I thought about it again, sitting in bed, starting to read my book.  That's when I just burst into tears.  I felt like I'd been walking by the cheerleader's table in 7th grade and had one of them shout that I couldn't sit with them.  LOL.  Uh..I wasn't asking. 

In any case, now I feel silly for crying about it.  And, yeah, a little bit pissed off because now I'm realizing that there won't be a playgroup for me/us in a few months.  My old playgroup has fallen apart after kids started school and families moved away (I live in Central America and the expat community here can be odd and transient) and been taken over by a New Age nut case who vets newcomers for their "positivity or negativity" and the only other group...doesn't want me. 

I'd start my own playgroup if I thought for a moment that, at 46 when I have this baby, I wasn't the only 46 year old with a new baby in the area.  *sigh*...whatever.  Maybe I don't even need a playgroup.

Anyway.  I just wanted to vent a little.  Along with the chocolate cravings, I guess I'm feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. 



"If there is a God, why did he make me an Atheist?" - Ricky Gervais
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 12:42 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
happy2b101
by **Star poster** on Jun. 3, 2012 at 2:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Awwww, I hear you.  And have been there.  I have joined a couple mom groups and when I arrive, I am clearly the oldest.  Luckily the last group I joined there was another mom just a few years younger than me and we have become friends.  Keep looking around and you will find more moms out there that are worth your time to get to know.  That is so rude that she said that.  Too bad you weren't so shocked that you didn't say "Um, I wasn't asking to join" but I wouldn't have come up with a retort either.  I always think of good things to say later...

nova.mommy
by Kristi Owner 1 on Jun. 3, 2012 at 3:55 PM
2 moms liked this

I am sorry they treated you like that.  Just an idea, but do you have a mall near you?  They often have a kids program(story time. etc) once a week.  Maybe you join it and meet other mother's there that don't feel 'welcome' in other groups either.

inspain
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:27 PM
1 mom liked this

The Malls here in CR don't do that sort of thing.  And the locals aren't usually inclined to chat up non-locals and the average age for being done having kids is about 25.  LOL.  The expats are really my only hope. 

Jeeze, I re-read my post and I guess I sound a bit like Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer, not allowed to join in any reindeer games!

Well, screw 'em.  The truth was, I was just asking when their group met, I was going to suggest a new place for them to meet.  A new kid-friendly place that just opened.  The moms in their group are nice enough, but they never seem to talk about anything besides their kids.  Ever.  And there's a definite distaste for attachement parenting, breast-feeding and homeschooling there.  Maybe I should start my own group.  My DH thinks it should focus on wine and crackers, with the kids being optional.  ;-)

happy2b101
by **Star poster** on Jun. 3, 2012 at 9:02 PM
1 mom liked this

too funny, I like the wine and crackers with kids optional idea.  wish we could get away with that.  funny what you say about them not liking breastfeeding.  I had the opposite problem, I tried and tried and couldn't produce enough to breastfeed even after working with a couple lactation consultants and finally gave up and it was like an outcast and an evil mother because I gave up.  it didn't matter everything I had done to try and how bad I felt.  I was told that if I really wanted to, I could have.  at the end of the day, we all just have to put people around us that are the types of people we want and ignore the rest.  easier said than done.  I am still working on it! 

Van822
by on Jun. 4, 2012 at 5:01 AM
1 mom liked this

 play groups are over rated ... :)

I did start my own play group.  And I enjoyed it  ...and I had younger moms and in their 30's moms, and couple moms closer to my age.  Some of them I became good friends with, some of them were acquaintence type, and some of them were annoying to me  :o (only a few that how young they were really couldn't be over looked -- this is NOT HIGH SCHOOL ... this is real life ,  :o ) .... but anyway I had  a good time with the play group most of the time ...

But since I moved back to KY ... I find it difficult to find moms who want to get their children together for a play time ... they all are so clickish and so forth -- (and as far as I know there are no play groups around in this area, but as exclusive and clicky as the majority seem to be, I can understand how this would be. A playgroup would probabley be a headache here for sure)

but we have learned to work around it ... I just put my daughter in activities like martial arts, dance, and gymnastics, -- and she esp loves her little Wens nite church, the kids always play a little while when they get out of church... And then we stay busy -- and we take advantage of little play times that present themselves

and it all works out okay

HarrisonMD
by on Jun. 4, 2012 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this

You go girl! Start your own group! lol

Anawan
by Member on Jun. 4, 2012 at 10:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Seriously?  It depends on the age of the MOM?  Shouldn't it be the age of the child?  That is just utterly ridiculous!  What difference does it make what age the mom is?  They cannot be friends with any age?  Shouldn't they just care about the kids who ARE the same age.  Utterly ludicrous.  Yes, start your own playgroup with more intelligent moms.

inspain
by on Jun. 4, 2012 at 10:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I think my DH's idea might weed out the Debbie Downers.  Wine and cheese brings out the best in most people.  And the only age requirement there is 21 and over.  LOL.

Quoting Anawan:

Seriously?  It depends on the age of the MOM?  Shouldn't it be the age of the child?  That is just utterly ridiculous!  What difference does it make what age the mom is?  They cannot be friends with any age?  Shouldn't they just care about the kids who ARE the same age.  Utterly ludicrous.  Yes, start your own playgroup with more intelligent moms.


"If there is a God, why did he make me an Atheist?" - Ricky Gervais
bryncalyn
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 11:26 AM
1 mom liked this

 I *still* don't have a playgroup. I would love to have one but I highly guard naptime. I just wish my parents would agree that naptime is necessary and require Emma to take a nap! You would think that living in such a metro area that I could find a playgroup ....

inspain
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 12:31 PM

It's not just where you are.  My cousin lives in London and she'll be 42 in September and her son wil be 1 in August.  Of the three groups she's been able to find, one was Muslim mommies only, one was populated by teen moms and the third, she tells me, is all well-heeled young socialites.  She finally put the kid in day care and went back to work.  She was worried that with the only interaction she was able to find at home, his first word might be "meow".

Quoting bryncalyn:

 I *still* don't have a playgroup. I would love to have one but I highly guard naptime. I just wish my parents would agree that naptime is necessary and require Emma to take a nap! You would think that living in such a metro area that I could find a playgroup ....


"If there is a God, why did he make me an Atheist?" - Ricky Gervais
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)