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Does your BM pay child support or help buy items for your SK's

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 7:07 PM
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We do not receive any child support for my stepdaughters. It was our choice not to ask for it but I am wandering how many BM's actually pay child support or if they don't do they help out with some of the children's needs. I would be so happy if our BM would either buy them an outfit or two for school or help with supplies, etc.
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 7:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
volschic
by Group Owner on Jul. 28, 2007 at 9:21 PM
I have 2 SK that I have been raising for the last 6 years and they call me mom.  The BM tells us that she has things for them and that she will bring them but never does.  She tells them that she is coming to see them and then stands them up and then we cannot get her to answer her phone for the next week just to find out that she was in Ohio with one of her boyfriends.  She has visitation EOW but never takes it and we are the one's that have to deal with the SK when they see that she lied to them again.
mrobinson
by New Member on Oct. 13, 2007 at 1:35 PM
I have just joined the group and am getting the hang of this.  We do not get child support by choice from my son's BM mom.  As soon as the state catches up with her she quites her job.  I have had my son for 6 years now.  She has been in his life for a total of about 6 months.  Yes it would be helpful if she helped out with money and all the extra costs; parties, clothes, sports, and so much more.
Kim845
by New Member on Oct. 22, 2007 at 5:34 PM
I have a question? Did you go to court to get custody of your Step Daughter? If so how did that go? Was it a hard battle? Did the Judge automatically see it your way? Please let me know.
punksjs
by New Member on Oct. 23, 2007 at 11:01 AM
BM pays child support (hardly!). When dh had to pay child support they were on his ass if he was a day late but she gets away with not paying, not paying the right amount and everything else you can think of! She always says she will pay for half of her extra activities but whenever I tell her how much it costs she always tells me how she really "wants" to pay but now is just not a good time for her! Wouldn't it be nice to be granted a "grace period" if you just didn't quite have the money "right now"?
mama2my4
by on Oct. 24, 2007 at 12:20 AM
Hi I am new to this group and I am glad to see other mothers YES MOTHERS cuz we are nto stepmoms if we are raising these kids. I am raising my SON I hate calling him step cuz to me he is not step he is mine. I will do a post on how it al came about that way so I dont take up too much here and it will give something new but any NO SHE DOESNOT PAY, in our parenting aggremnet she is to pay half of everything but she doent, sometimes if if benfits her she will, this last yeat or so she only started buying him bday presents and christmas gifts, she will buy him clothes every now and then but what makes me the most mad is when  I tell her we need something and she'll go buy him a useless toy that gets broke afew days later cuz he will purposely break the stuff she buys cuz he doent like her, she only buys that stuff so he will go and not throw a fit, he calls me mom and calls her by her name but she has never been a mom to him, hes 5 she gave him to his grandparents when he was a baby and the we got him when he was a littl4e over year old, she had visitation with him but doesnt take them unless she has to disrupt him or to show him off to somebody and then its a nightmare her life is so unstable and I worry about him the whole time and then when he comes home he makes home life a living hell cuz he hates it at her house so Im glad that she pretty much leaves him alone. As of right now we havent heard from her in a month.
Brookls
by New Member on Oct. 24, 2007 at 2:42 PM
Hi All,

I have three step children that are now 17, 16 & 14.  The two oldest are girls.  The girls live with us full time and my stop son is 50/50.  The girls chose to live with us and then we made it legal.  We waived child support from their mother.  After years of dealing with her we just came to the conclusion that it was not worth our stress and axiety to ever think we will get anything from her, nor will her children.

It actually save us a lot of grief just writing her off, I know everyone can not do this financially but it really did save us a ton of stress.  We pay everything (she is supposed to pay 40%).  If she gives the kids money that is a bonus.  They are old enough at this stage that they understand what role she play for them.  My step son (sad as it is) even apoligizes when he asks us for something for school, because he has asked his mom and she tells him to talk to us. 

It is still frustrating at times...especially with Senior expenses and college coming up....but having no expectation of her has helped me greatly.
ladybuggin82
by New Member on Oct. 25, 2007 at 1:05 PM
I think I'd fall over dead if the mom actually paid child support... lol She won't even help out the kids with clothes or school supplies. All she wants to do is drugs and beat on the kids... Good luck with that, and if she does pay, don't count on getting it all the time...
mommyof4dd
by on Nov. 6, 2007 at 7:40 PM
Our BM lives 1000 miles away and hasn't paid support in over 3 months.  She is almost 4000 behind.  She hasn't seen the kids in over 3.5 years and they refuse to talk to her.  I am trying very hard to have them throw her in jail, because when my hubby had to pay, we did on time, every month.  Not when we felt like it.  The sad thing is, she is only ordered to pay $267/month for two kids, even though she should have been ordered to pay over double that.  She cried poor me in court and got her way.
InkedMommie2B08
by New Member on Feb. 15, 2008 at 10:52 AM
My sd's BM pays $238.00 a month in support. She pays $ 388.00 plus $ 100.00 back support on her other daughter with another father. She doesn't help with school supplies for either child. We send her the list and tell her if she wants to help pick a few things and we will get the rest. Weeks come and go and she gets NOTHING. Keeps telling my SD she is going to " get it next weekend when she gets paid". We end up getting everything on the list plus new clothes, etc. She gets all the glory and when we say something aboout Mom not coming thru year after year we are told by SD that " we didn't give her enough time to go and buy things ". Well I think 2 months is ample time. ! ! ! !

When BM had custody of SD she was recv'ing $ 400.00 per month and calling us constantly begging for money for clothes, school pictures, school supplies. She was telling her husband that she wasn't getting any support from my DH. He now knows the truth about that and many other things and they are divorced ! ! !
shadowedmoon
by New Member on Feb. 15, 2008 at 6:02 PM
My husband and I raised our two kids with no help from BM for over a year.  But as soon as she got custody, she was all over us for every little thing, including child support.
Yesterday, we won temporary custody of the kids, and she will be required to pay child support when she gets out of prison atleast, so it'll be interesting to see if she does...or if she ends up back in jail.

~Someone's Mommy~

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