Why won't my son poop in the potty at home?

[khurckman]

Hello There,

My son Bode is 4 now and he has been potty trained for almost 2 years now. For a while he was fine with peeing and pooping in the poppy. He goes to 4 year old kindergarten and does fine there with poop and pee. He goes to daycare and does fine there as well. When he is home, he almost always poops in his underware. He hides when he needs to go. He does not tell us when he has already pooped in his pants and we have to smell it to realize what happened. I have tried everything from giving treats, scolding, making him change his underware, give his younger brother a treat and not him because he had pooped in his pants, and nothing seems to work. I try also to say its ok try harder next time, but that does not work either. He never initiates it himself. The bathroom is in the far back of the house which includes a long hallway that is always dark because we live in a basement apartment with no windows on that end of the house. We leave the bathroom light on for him because of this. My husband actually scolds him for pooping in his pants and goes all postal. I try to explain to him do not do this, but he does not listen. Would it also help if we were on the same page? Is there anything that can help?

[Andrewsmom70]

But he goes pee in the potty at home all the time without being reminded and on his own?  Is that correct?

 

[khurckman]

yes that is correct.

[Andrewsmom70]

Do you give him privacy when he's home and needs to poop?  If he's hiding to poop it sounds to me like he just wants privacy.

Since he poops at daycare and school, it also sounds like he's probably lazy about it when he gets home.  I'd start putting him into a cold/lukewarm shower every time he poops on himself at home and let him know it will happen every single time he does it.

[khurckman]

Thanks, I will try that. He does hide to poop, but I do give him privacy in the bathroom. Also, he just started a new daycare and he did poop there in his pants. Maybe it is a new place? I will update you in a week or so. Thanks again

[Andrewsmom70]

Quoting khurckman:

Thanks, I will try that. He does hide to poop, but I do give him privacy in the bathroom. Also, he just started a new daycare and he did poop there in his pants. Maybe it is a new place? I will update you in a week or so. Thanks again

Change can cause kids to act out in all sorts of ways, including trying to control poop/potty.  Just give it some time.

[khurckman]

I just wanted to update you on my son's progress. He did poop in his pants at his school the other day and he is at daycare and at home now. I am trying the cold shower thing, but I am not sure it is working yet.