My 4 year old daughter is POTTY trained, but she has a hard time pooping on the potty. I don't know if she's scared or what but she'll either go in a pull up or just do it in her panties. I am clueless on what to do and I can't put her into preschool until she starts going on the potty. I hope someone can help me with my dilema. PLEASE !!!
How long has she been pee trained without accidents?
Why are you puttinmg her in a pull up?
Are you using rewards for her?
How are you currently dealing with the poop messes?
Is she hiding to go poop?
Is she using the adult toilet (with or without a potty ring) or the child's potty?
If she's using the adult toilet, does she have a stool to rest her feet on?
How long has she been pee trained without accidents?
1 1/2 years with 4 accidents
Why are you puttinmg her in a pull up?
She wears a pull up at night to sleep and has always woken up dry. If she has to poo when she first gets up then she'll poo in her pull up before she pees on the potty. I put her in one at night because she is a heavy sleeper and she doesn't wake up if she accidently wets the bed. They are they night time ones.
Are you using rewards for her?
We are using the stickers. Little ones for pee and big ones for poo. When she gets 4 big stickers we told her we would buy her a gold fish. So far only 1 big sticker in 3 months.
How are you currently dealing with the poop messes?
She has to help clean her panties and looses a favorite toy for an hour.
Is she hiding to go poop?
No
Is she using the adult toilet (with or without a potty ring) or the child's potty?
She is currently using both. Which ever one she feels like using at the time.
If she's using the adult toilet, does she have a stool to rest her feet on?
Yes, her potty chair closes for a stool and she uses it to properly sit on the adult toilet and rests her feet on it while her elbows rest on her knees. (Like a board look)
Dawn
I'd recommend putting her into a cool/lukewarm shower every time she poops on herself. Get her in, get her clean and get her out. Let her know it will happen every single time she messes and follow thru every single time- no fun, no toys, just business.
If that doesn't work, you may want to try Poop Jail as described in the top post in this forum. If you can't find it, let me know.
my daughter is almost 5 and she STILL wants a pull up to go poopy. She's only gone poopy on the potty a few times, kind of by accident......she will even sometimes start on the potty, then will scream and throw a hysterical fit that she wants a pull up. If I don't give her one she will hold it all day and then go in her night pull up.......then she gets constipated and is miserable for the next 2-3 days. My pediatrician said not to worry about it, it's a control thing, that she will do it when she's ready.......it's very frustrating. She's never had any accidents though.....I don't agree with the poop jail for my child, I don't think it would work and she would be a hysterical mess. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your struggle. Good luck.
Quoting JulieSitarz:
my daughter is almost 5 and she STILL wants a pull up to go poopy. She's only gone poopy on the potty a few times, kind of by accident......she will even sometimes start on the potty, then will scream and throw a hysterical fit that she wants a pull up. If I don't give her one she will hold it all day and then go in her night pull up.......then she gets constipated and is miserable for the next 2-3 days. My pediatrician said not to worry about it, it's a control thing, that she will do it when she's ready.......it's very frustrating. She's never had any accidents though.....I don't agree with the poop jail for my child, I don't think it would work and she would be a hysterical mess. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your struggle. Good luck.
As long as you are giving her the pull up, she'll keep demanding it. You are basically feeding into her belief that she has to have the pull up to poop.
What are you going to do when she starts to school? They aren't going to allow her to poop in a pull up at school.
I'm not sure how to repost a previous comment, but each parent has to make their own decisions on what is best for their child. My daughter already does go to school. She is in preschool (this is her second year). She does not wear a pull up to school, she can control when she goes, and I have tried many different things but I do not believe in punishing, humiliating or demeaning my child for something that she is not ready to do...........I believe (and so do many experts) that negative enforcement only causes further problems, both physically and psychologically. I was merely letting her know that there are many options out there and that she should do what SHE feels in the best interest of her child. I'm not saying I have any answers, just letting her know what my pediatrician has told me and to let her know she is not alone in her struggle.
Quoting JulieSitarz:
I'm not sure how to repost a previous comment, but each parent has to make their own decisions on what is best for their child. My daughter already does go to school. She is in preschool (this is her second year). She does not wear a pull up to school, she can control when she goes, and I have tried many different things but I do not believe in punishing, humiliating or demeaning my child for something that she is not ready to do...........I believe (and so do many experts) that negative enforcement only causes further problems, both physically and psychologically. I was merely letting her know that there are many options out there and that she should do what SHE feels in the best interest of her child. I'm not saying I have any answers, just letting her know what my pediatrician has told me and to let her know she is not alone in her struggle.
I realize there are different options for different families. I was just wondering what you were planning to do to get her ready for school. I didn't know if you had a plan or not. That's why I asked.
I wasn't trying to say that the only way to get her trained was poop jail.
The person that came up with Poop Jail is a licensed psychologist. He has a great book, titled Parenting By the Book. I've been reading it recently and he has a lot of good stuff to say about how pop psychology is actually made parenting more difficult instead of making it better. I'm not bashing you.
my 3 year old son has the same problem he will NOT go poop on the potty he pees great and tells us but will go hide to poop in his undies the only way we got him to start a little bit is we told him if he went poop on the potty he will get to do fireworks* sparkler* and every time he poops he gets to do a few * we had like 10 packs left over fro the 4th lol * so now hes starting to tell us when he needs to go
Are you serious? Put her in a cool/likwarm shower? should she elevate up to cold water when that's not effective and then spanking in the shower as the next step? That's a little excessive!
If this was going well and suddenly changed there is problem some event that accured that caused to want to withdraw.
If this has been an ongoing problem and she's already 4 I would consult your Pediatrician. Children have to have control over their sphincters in order to poop at approriate times and it sounds like you are doing everything perectly correct to get her to go. This may sound silly but have you tried asking her? LOL I know she's 4 but she's probably very intelligent and can answer you yes or no as to whether or not she poops cuz she can't hold it or cuz she doesn't want to go in the toilet. She should be able to hold it without a problem at this point so if she's making no attempt then get more stern in your voice and body language to let her know that it's not ok and keep track on what times she pooping and try to have sit times on the potty around those times.
Quoting Andrewsmom70:
I'd recommend putting her into a cool/lukewarm shower every time she poops on herself. Get her in, get her clean and get her out. Let her know it will happen every single time she messes and follow thru every single time- no fun, no toys, just business.
If that doesn't work, you may want to try Poop Jail as described in the top post in this forum. If you can't find it, let me know.
Quoting MiraclesMommy26:
Are you serious? Put her in a cool/likwarm shower? should she elevate up to cold water when that's not effective and then spanking in the shower as the next step? That's a little excessive!
Yes, I'm serious. Older children that have been pee trained for a while (6 months or longer) that refuse to use the toilet to poop are very different than children that are just learning to use the toilet. I do not recommend spanking a child that is initially potty training but if a child is older and has been successfully potty trained for at least pee and is refusing to use the toilet for poop, they are capable of understanding that if they do not do what they are supposed to do, there are consequences which may include being put into a cool/lukewarm shower to clean them up. If you've never had a child that is older and refuses to use the toilet, you can't really judge. You may think it's excessive but you've obviously not been in the shoes of a parent that has tried everything to get their child to use the toilet and the child refuses. If you do get to that point you may decide not to go that route but some moms have used and and found it very successful.
potty training before pre-school
- Woodstock43031
on Nov. 13, 2009 at 11:41 PM