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3 year old boy refuses to potty

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:52 AM
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My 3 year old little boy refuses to potty I tried to let him wear regular underwear and even no underwear but he just fusses and fights with me the whole time about how he wants a diaper on. we tried pull ups but he still wont use them as pullups just as a regular diaper. when we first put him on the potty he told us he was scared he was going to fall in so we bought him a potty seat but he was still scared of falling in so we bought him a small training potty but still nothing he just sits there and whines the entire time. he fusses and cries the whole time he doesnt have a diaper on.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:52 AM
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Replies (1-9):
CallieHill
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:08 PM

Tell him that he is a big boy now and big boys wear underwear and he needs to stop crying about it.  Big boys use the potty, not a diaper.  Throw away anything that looks like a diaper and never buy another one.  You are calling the shots here, not him.  Let him see you throw the diapers away.  Let him fuss about not having one on.  So what?  It's just fussing.  Tell him there is not another option, he will be using underwear and will be using the potty b/c all the diapers are GONE.  Pick a method you want to use to PT and don't let the fussing phase you.  I know this seems scary b/c you making such a big movement away from diapers very quickly.  But, you just have to dive in head first and persist with no stopping.  He can sense your insecurity about the situation and will use it against you.  You have to be very confident in yours and his efforts to do this.  Never, ever, ever give up.  He is old enough to be trained.  Most preschools in this area won't accept a 3 year old unless they are potty trained.  Good luck! 

Andrewsmom70
by Group Owner on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:49 PM

I recommend the 3 day method: http://www.cafemom.com/group/562/forums/read/4235060/3_Day_Potty_Training_Post

It's what I used with my son and it worked great for us.  Since you only take them to the toilet only when they actually start peeing/pooping or when they initiate going.  It takes the fight out of it for the most part.

Let me know if you have questions.

clsmeenk
by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 1:39 AM

My son is three and also refuses to go to the potty. I have tried everything and nothing works for him. He is stuburn and will not go. he can tell me that he has done it the thinks that it is funny. I feel for you moma and I know what you are going through.

Jaarata
by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 8:01 AM

My little guy whose almost 3 wants nothing to do with the potty. Maybe it a boy thing!

Andrewsmom70
by Group Owner on Apr. 9, 2009 at 8:28 AM


Quoting Jaarata:

My little guy whose almost 3 wants nothing to do with the potty. Maybe it a boy thing!


Nope.  Not a boy thing.  My son trained when he was 23 months. :-)

Other moms with boys have also had success, early on.  Personally, I think that the earlier you train (starting around 18 months) the more likely you'll have success.  The sooner you train, the less of a habit you have to break since the habit if peeing/pooping in a diaper has been less of a habit for a younger child than an older child.  A shorter term habit is easier to break than a long term one.

payashmommy
by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 3:19 PM

this is not my first child my oldest is 5 now but we had him potty trained at 30 months but this child is sooooooo stubborn.

mksak
by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 8:35 PM

we just got done with 43 month old girl - total potty confusion. the 3 day is a great place to start.  i'm the paternal grandma. i took her for the week,i had a week vacation. sometimes i think if someone else can do it let them. its hard when there are other children in the house demanding of you.the child might need your undivided attention.or get everyone involved, make it fun, devote 3days. ours was scared also. used rewards, DONT ASK IF THEY HAVE TO GO, SAY TIME TO SIT ON THE POTTY. 15 MINUTES ON 15 MINUTES OFF. absolultly no more diaper or pullups. i think it causes confusion. used the "potty dance". the "your a big girl now" and "your wearing big boy underwear" was the wrong words i think, try to figure out  "why" he wont go. we said, you are a brave girl. it will be ok. and sat right beside her. very quiet in the house, reduce distraction to get them to concentrate. we had total success after 5 day. even at nap and bedtime.i agree with andrewmom, there is a "window" of opportunity in most things humans do, the window for bowel and bladder control is generally 18-24 months before they start to figure out they can control you and the situation because its frightening and they dont understand.  hope this helps.

payashmommy
by on Apr. 17, 2009 at 10:05 AM

HE IS DOING IT NOW!! HE IS POTTY TRAINING!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED! THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS AND HELP! WHAT WORKED WAS DISTRACTION.. I TOOK HIS LITTLE PORTABLE POTTY AND PLACED IT IN THE LIVING ROOM AND TALKED HIM INTO SITTING ON IT FOR A BIT WHILE HE WATCHED CARTOONS AND WHEN HE FINALLY USED IT HE JUMPED UP AND MADE ME COME LOOK AND HIGH FIVE AND GOOD JOB HIM! NOW AFTER 3 DAYS I HAVE IT BACK IN THE BATHROOM AND HE GOES NO PROBLEM WE AREN'T IN DIAPERS OR PULLUPS JUST BIG BOY PANTS! HE GOES ALL BY HIMSELF WITHOUT ANY REMINDER! YAY! YIPPE HURRAY

Andrewsmom70
by Group Owner on Apr. 17, 2009 at 4:57 PM

Yay!  Congrats!

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