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daughter will poop anywhere but the potty...Need help

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 5:26 PM
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Ok my daughter is 3 and has been using thr potty for 4 months now,  but she does not poop in the potty??? Why I do not know and like most kids when you ask why you did that they just say cause I did.....We have tried everything we can think of but nothing has worked so far.  I sware if you leave the panties off she would go right in the floor.  If you catch her in the act and try to get her on the potty she freaks out starts crying and gets off the pot fast you can not hold her there cause at that time she is stronger then you she gets off and even pushes you down to get away from it and the person that wants her to do it.  So what do I dohow do I get her to go she knows this is nastyand that she needs to put in in the potty she knows all about it sje just wont.  Please help  I know it will happen when they want to do it but this is just so nasty she hates it on her and so do I.  Any advice is welcome

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 5:26 PM
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Andrewsmom70
by Group Owner on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:35 PM

Is she pooping in her underwear/a pull up, in the floor?  Where?

What are you doing when she does poop not in the toilet (be as specific as possible please)?

Has she ever pooped in the toilet with success?

Is she using a potty or the adult toilet (with or without a potty ring)?

 

JHall
by on Aug. 6, 2009 at 3:01 PM

Well we tried the little potty for a while when she was potty training and found that she liked the big one instead.  She wears panties and a diaper when she goes to bed but other then that panties all day.  Most of the times we catch her in the act and try to get her to go to the potty she knows that she needs to put it in there but just wont.  Most of the times she gets a spanking or I take something from her,  others we tell her if she does this she gets to go to the store and pick out a toy or something we did that while she was potty training and it kind of worked found out that she liked cookies over a toy.  But with getting her to do #2 in the potty sometimes if she will do it in the potty just by asking her to no fuss about it.  Right now she was just cought in the act and daddy is telling her to get into the bathroom and she is freaking out she's been checked and hasn't done anything yet but she needs change that is what she is saying??....I don't know what to do with her I feel like cause most ppl tell me this just to leave her in nothing but I feel that if she has no panties on she will just go in the floor. ....She knows where she needs to go and will do so some times very rare but she will she is smart she sees where we go and knows what we are doing and knows that only babies go in their pants and not big kids,  but man what is the problem with the potty.  The funny thing is she will go and try to clean herself up after.  The only time we have gotten her to go on the pot is when she is backed up from us stopping her so many times to try to get her on the potty....I hope someone can help me on this,  I don't know what to do with her.  It took almost 2 years to get her potty trained and it was all fight she didn't want to do it and would do anything to get out of doing it she didn't care what you took from her as long as it got her out of the potty .....HELP PLEASE

Andrewsmom70
by Group Owner on Aug. 6, 2009 at 4:27 PM

Have you tried putting her on the toilet when you know she needs to poop and then left her in the bathroom by herself?  Some kids need privacy right from the start.

Other kids are freaked out about the possibility of water splashing on their bottom and putting some toilet paper in the toilet where the poop can "land" without a splash has helped a lot of moms get their kids trained.

Some kids need to be made to clean up the mess, as in cleaning out the poopy underwear (with your help) so that you can make her clean them out.  That's enough gross to get some kids away from pooping on themselves.

Other kids need to be told that they will be given a cold/lukewarm shower every single time they poop on themselves.  If you do that, you have to make it as miserable as possible.  Make it business only- get her in, get her clean and get her out, ASAP with no toys and no playing.  Make it as miserable as possible and let her know it will happen every single time she poops on herself.

If none of that works, or if you've already tried it and none of it has worked, let me know.  I have a few other options.

Miseisangeles
by on Aug. 9, 2009 at 1:36 PM

Hello, new to this site but I have a 3 year old son who does this exact same thing.  He will not go in a potty or the toilet, he has been half way potty trained since last september.  He will urinate in the toilet no problem.  No matter when or where but when he has to poop, he will hide and go in his underware.  Before when we were advised to let him go nude.  He would go on the floor, not a good idea the house started to smell, from all the accident spots in the carpet, the carpet had to be cleaned professionally every two weeks, with us cleaning with an at home machine almost everyday where he does it.  Also when he tries to poop we have noticed that it seems extremely firm, so we give him lots of whole grains & 100% juice & veggies.  Which helps with the consistency of it. Thinking this was the problem, why he gets upset when we sit him on the toilet/potty we felt that the looseness of it would make it easier for him to go, but no.  The same thing happens with him also, if we catch him in the act and put him on the potty, he will sit there with no tantrum, but will whine and say he doesn't have to.  We have let him sit there for a couple of hours before playing a game or reading, but he will not go, he has never used the potty/toilet wtih pooping.  And now it is to were he understands better so we are trying to get him to stop going in his underware and ask for a pull up to go in.  Hasn't worked so far, but we are close I think.  He does get a spanking now for going in his underware, but other than that nothing else for this.  We are about to take him to the doctor again for this issue in about 2 weeks to see what else may work or what to do. I don't think he is scared of it, he doesn't act as if the potty/toilet is scary, again he uses the toilet to urinate just fine.  Also he will not poop on himself unless we are home or at his grandparents house.  So I know on some level he's controlling it.  When we are out at a theme park all day he won't poop, but will constantly urinate, ask when time to go to bathroom and everything.  But he won't poop until we get home!  Have anything you tried come close to helping her poop?

Andrewsmom70
by Group Owner on Aug. 9, 2009 at 5:45 PM


Quoting Miseisangeles:

Hello, new to this site but I have a 3 year old son who does this exact same thing.  He will not go in a potty or the toilet, he has been half way potty trained since last september.  He will urinate in the toilet no problem.  No matter when or where but when he has to poop, he will hide and go in his underware.  Before when we were advised to let him go nude.  He would go on the floor, not a good idea the house started to smell, from all the accident spots in the carpet, the carpet had to be cleaned professionally every two weeks, with us cleaning with an at home machine almost everyday where he does it.  Also when he tries to poop we have noticed that it seems extremely firm, so we give him lots of whole grains & 100% juice & veggies.  Which helps with the consistency of it. Thinking this was the problem, why he gets upset when we sit him on the toilet/potty we felt that the looseness of it would make it easier for him to go, but no.  The same thing happens with him also, if we catch him in the act and put him on the potty, he will sit there with no tantrum, but will whine and say he doesn't have to.  We have let him sit there for a couple of hours before playing a game or reading, but he will not go, he has never used the potty/toilet wtih pooping.  And now it is to were he understands better so we are trying to get him to stop going in his underware and ask for a pull up to go in.  Hasn't worked so far, but we are close I think.  He does get a spanking now for going in his underware, but other than that nothing else for this.  We are about to take him to the doctor again for this issue in about 2 weeks to see what else may work or what to do. I don't think he is scared of it, he doesn't act as if the potty/toilet is scary, again he uses the toilet to urinate just fine.  Also he will not poop on himself unless we are home or at his grandparents house.  So I know on some level he's controlling it.  When we are out at a theme park all day he won't poop, but will constantly urinate, ask when time to go to bathroom and everything.  But he won't poop until we get home!  Have anything you tried come close to helping her poop?

Earlier in the list of responses to this mom are a lot of good suggestions to help you out.  There are also a lot of other posts in this forum that have good options too.  Feel free to poke around and read to get some ideas.

JHall
by on Aug. 10, 2009 at 12:11 AM

We did have success the other day she only goes ones a day so for 2 days she went in the potty 1 of which was forced I took the panties away and told her that she doesn't get them back till she goes in the potty  well after an hour of screaming and crying she went and set on it still screaming at me and goes...I call it the angry poop...lol  the next day she did it with out being asked with no problem.   But she hasn't done it since it has been 3 days since her last pooh but then again we left out for Tybee Island GA Sat morning for vacation hopefully she will start back or bye bye panties...I don't know what her issue is but if she doesn't start back I am gonna have to ask her doc about it cause this is just crazy...Took almost 2 years to get her to pee in the potty and I so hope that is not the case with this...Thank you guys for all the help

pdbfly
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 1:20 AM


Quoting Miseisangeles:

Hello, new to this site but I have a 3 year old son who does this exact same thing.  He will not go in a potty or the toilet, he has been half way potty trained since last september.  He will urinate in the toilet no problem.  No matter when or where but when he has to poop, he will hide and go in his underware.  Before when we were advised to let him go nude.  He would go on the floor, not a good idea the house started to smell, from all the accident spots in the carpet, the carpet had to be cleaned professionally every two weeks, with us cleaning with an at home machine almost everyday where he does it.  Also when he tries to poop we have noticed that it seems extremely firm, so we give him lots of whole grains & 100% juice & veggies.  Which helps with the consistency of it. Thinking this was the problem, why he gets upset when we sit him on the toilet/potty we felt that the looseness of it would make it easier for him to go, but no.  The same thing happens with him also, if we catch him in the act and put him on the potty, he will sit there with no tantrum, but will whine and say he doesn't have to.  We have let him sit there for a couple of hours before playing a game or reading, but he will not go, he has never used the potty/toilet wtih pooping.  And now it is to were he understands better so we are trying to get him to stop going in his underware and ask for a pull up to go in.  Hasn't worked so far, but we are close I think.  He does get a spanking now for going in his underware, but other than that nothing else for this.  We are about to take him to the doctor again for this issue in about 2 weeks to see what else may work or what to do. I don't think he is scared of it, he doesn't act as if the potty/toilet is scary, again he uses the toilet to urinate just fine.  Also he will not poop on himself unless we are home or at his grandparents house.  So I know on some level he's controlling it.  When we are out at a theme park all day he won't poop, but will constantly urinate, ask when time to go to bathroom and everything.  But he won't poop until we get home!  Have anything you tried come close to helping her poop?

we have the opposite cositancy issue and worry that he doesnt get enough warning for it some times our doctor put him on metimucil (aperently it can firm as well as loosen who knew) and that is a battle itself to get him to drink im not worrying too much about the pooping yet we are doing well on the peing in the potty and hoping to build on the sucess and aperently he does poop on the toilet at daddys sometimes i am trying a new method a friend suggested of when poop acident change in the bathroom and dump the poop in the toilet  reminding this is where it belongs as well maybe next time we will get it there and get our gummy bears ( in theroy he will get 4 for poop instead of the 2 pee but had only got the 4 once a while back, and i cant figure why it isnt hapening again... lets hope we both have more luck soon 

JHall
by on Aug. 14, 2009 at 2:45 PM

well so much for poop in the potty that only lasted 1 week and we are back to poop in the panties even a bathing suite she will pooh in anything or nothing,  she was caught with nothing on still trying to go and when I tried to get her to go to the potty she freaked out on me and starts with the hitting biting kicking slapping and screaming she will also hurt her self hitting her head on walls doors what ever is around her. She gets a spanking if she does this stuff and I take things away well kind of she will give them up just to get out of doing this.  I am now lost I don't know what to do with her just shutting her up in the bathroom till she goes or even making her stay on the potty till she goes does not work she fought so hard one time to get off the potty that she fell and hit her head and this was with both me and daddy trying to hold her there with out hurting her.  So what is next I am out of ideas I have tried them all...Keep in mind it took 2 years just to get her to pee on the potty cause by then she didn't like the feeling of pee on her but the poop on her she doesn't mind....Can anyone tell me what to do with a kid that just will not go no matter what you try???

luvinitmom07
by on Aug. 14, 2009 at 11:04 PM

Have you tried time out?  Sounds like that's what she needs...after you get her cleaned up, put her in a corner (not facing in the corner just standing there) for a full 3 minutes, since she's 3 years old.  When time is up you ask her if she knows why she got put in time out.  Let her know if she doesn't know why...ask for a hug and kiss and tell her you love her but she can't be kicking, biting, hitting.  There is no way I would ever stand to be treated like that by my children!

toddler boybaby girl

JHall
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 4:01 PM

I tried the time out thing for a week and it didn't work she will not stay got tired of standing behind her to make sure she stays this kid is everywhere she is never in the same place for longer then 2 seconds she is highly active I do mean highly active the doc sees no problem with that she is a child,  she has always been that way.  But now we have a new problem on top of not pooping in the potty she has go back to peeing on her self she will stand right infront of you and just go.  If you ask why she did that you get CAUSE I CAN on top of I CAN'T USE THE POTTY what is with that??  hardheaded to the max.  No panties = going in the floor been there even seen her doing it all hunched over trying to hide beside our bed or in the closet of her room or her play room with the door shut,  things get  quiet I go looking to see what she is doing and that is what I find,  but now she is just doing it out in the open right in front of us,  by the time I get her to the potty while she is still going there is no need for her to use it anymore she has let it all out on the way.

I know everyone has their own way and things that have worked for their kid but what do you do with a kid that just will not in no way go on the potty and is even peeing on herself now.  What do you do with a kid that is so hardheaded nothing works.  Taking things away...lol  she gladly gives them to you spankings...lol  yeah she is upset but she still does it every time time out...lol  she will not stay potty jail...lol  this one is just funny to watch she will stay in there all day she will stay on the potty all day and as soon as you get her off she goes.  She will do what ever it takes to get out of using the potty I just don't get it.

I think you all for trying to help me but I am done here She is probably going to be the only kid in her school still  pooping in their panties cause she doesn't wnat to listen

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