Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

THE HURT I FELT THIS DAY> I KNEW IT WAS COMING

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:05 AM
  • 4 Replies
  • 305 Total Views

MY SON JESS 7YRS OLD BORN BI LATERAL CLEFT LIP AND PALATE WITH VAN DER WOUDE SYNDROM >WHICH MEANS BOTTOM LIP HAD TWO HOLE IN THEM AND LEAKED SALAVA UNTIL THE WENT IN AND CLOSED THEM  ANYWAY MY SON CAME HOME ONE DAY AND WAS SAD AND NOT TALKING DID I MENTION HE ALSO IS ADHD SO THE NOT TALKING WAS VERY ODD FOR HIM,  SO I ASKED WHAT WAS WRONG HE SAID NOTHING SO LATER AT BED TIME I ASKED WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL AND HE SAID MOM LET ME TOUCH YOUR LIPS THEN MINE SO I LET HIM FEEL MY LIPS AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID MY TOP LIP IS FLAT MOMMY WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE MY HEART BROKE AND I FOUGHT THE TEARS SO HARD AND I SAID SON NO ONE IS THE SAME AND YOU WERE BORN DIFFERENT AND WE HAVE HAD SURGERIES TO HELP FIX YOUR MOUTH AND IT LOOKS GREAT AND WE SHOULD NOT DWELL ON THIS PROBLEM BECAUSE SOME KIDS HAVE NO ARMS OR LEGS OR THEY ARE BORN WITH THINGS THAT CANNOT BE FIXED WE SHOULD THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR WHO WE ARE AND WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR US BECAUSE IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE AND YOURS IS ALL FIXABLE AND FOR A MOMENT I SEEN IN HIS EYES A GLIMPSE OF HOPE THAT SOMEONE HAD TOOK FROM HIM AT SCHOOL SO I BELIEVE WITH ALL MY HEART I SAID THE RIGHT THINGS SO WE SAID OUR PRAYERS AND LAUGHED A LITTLE AND HE WENT TO SLEEP  BUT I GO OUTSIDE AND JUST CRY SO HARD AND JUST FELT SO MUCH HURT FOR HIM  HAS ANYONE  HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM  PLEASE RESPOND I NEED TO KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:05 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-4):
Moosical97
by Member on Dec. 16, 2008 at 9:59 AM

Wow!!  I think you said exactly the right thing - and it sounds like your son needed to hear what you said!  It's good that you knew what to say to him - and it sounds like you didn't miss a beat - so good job for that too!!!  I fear the day that Isaac comes home like that!!  I don't know that I could be as quick to fix it as you were!!

As awful as it is for the other moms - I think it is important to remind him that it could be much worse...  maybe that can help him always look on the bright side...  Not that I would ever want Isaac to go away - but sometimes I wish I was the mom who had to teach the compassion, not the mom who has to do the comforting... if you know what I mean.  I wish all kids were lucky enough to be taught early on acceptance...  My MIL's best friend has a son (I want to say Vincent is like 6 or 7...) and he has a friend who had a cleft lip and palate...  and they never thought anything about it until one day it finally occurred to Vincent that the other kid was different... and the story goes that he said something about not wanting to be his friend... and his mom said, "Did Joe want to stop being your friend when you had a hole in your knee??"  (I htink he had fallen or something...) and Vincent said, "Well, no - that would be silly!"  Lyza said back to him, "Well, there you go!" and they have been best friends ever since...  (They were best friends before... but they are still best friends!!)  :)

I wish all kids the opportunity to learn that lesson!!

I think you did a great job!!

Nikki - Mom to Isaac - born 7/18/07 with a cleft lip and palate

about 5 weeks, about 9 months, and about 14 months

terrie88
by Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:10 AM

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! WOW WHAT A GOOD LOOKING CHILD YOU HAVE I WISH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THE BEST!!!

gabesmom33
by New Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:11 AM

I think you handled that wonderfully!!!  That just broke my heart, I am dreading the day that Zayden comes home with something happening like that.  I hope I have the grace you did.

terrie88
by Member on Dec. 23, 2008 at 9:30 AM

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)