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Help, cant understand her when shes upset

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 10:34 AM
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My daughter is 4 with moderate/severe HOH, she wears hearing aids, does talk with some speech problems and also uses some signs.  she is high pitched. She has been working with her speech therapist on this, but its not going that well. Well anyway, when she gets upset, she gets really upset. Her voice goes high and unclear and you cant understand a word she is saying and she wont sign. Because i cannot understand her I cannot help with the situation and she gets even more upset. Do you have any suggestions on how to fix this? also she cannot read or write so thats out of the question.

by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 10:34 AM
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sarahmcg
by New Member on Feb. 19, 2010 at 5:03 PM

I know this must be frustrating. I am studying to become a speech pathologist and i have 3 kids of my own. All kids do this. The only thing you can do is to try to get them to calm down, without getting frustrated at them. I know its hard not too. If you can get her to calm down, then have her show you what is wrong. Is she in a program where she is learning sign? I would also get with her speech pathologist and try to get some information on how to communicate with her more. What is her Speech pathologist working on? Have her show you what she is working on so you can do it with her at home. I have more success with my clients when they get the same help at home. I hope some of this will help. Stay positive.

JJmaul
by New Member on Feb. 19, 2010 at 7:18 PM

At the moment she is not working with her speech teacher, the reason for this is because we are in the middle of moving from one post to another (we will be there in a week). She does her therapys during school. She is in special ed pre-k, she does some therapy during class and some of it shes pulled out for one on one time. They were last working with her to get her speech clearer and to try to tone down her voice. At our last ISP meeting for her, they decided to drop working with the high pitch because after almost a year of working on it there was no improvement. Once we get to the new base we will enroll her back into school and her therapy again. Yes i get frustrated with her sometimes, she does know some of the basic signs, but we need to teach her more for instances like these.  Its hard to get that quiet one on one time with her because i have 3 other children, 2 younger then her and 1 older, but I know I need to make it more of  a priority after this move is complete. Thank you so much for your input!

sarahmcg
by New Member on Feb. 19, 2010 at 8:55 PM

Well, i wish you luck, I hope you find another program for her that will be great for you and her. Are you moving to a big post? like i said before, I am studying to become a speech pathologist. So, if you have any questions feel free to ask me.

gigi-rn
by Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:41 AM

My daughter was the same way and even throwing a fit when we didnt understand her.  First off you are not alone I think all parents go through it. I think expanding on her sign will help a lot. My daughter is now 3 1/2 and she is able to sign to us when she is upset and it helps a great deal.  Also, I have notice my self getting frustrated when Im not understood, by my husband mostly.  It is so funny we both have perfect hearing and he never hears me(yes I do know that this is sometime selective).  But I have been reading a bit and it says to make sure that HOH kids know it is ok when they are not understood, and to take a minute explain that you are not understanding and say maybe we could use our signs to help us.  If she is still unwilling try not to get frustrated.  This will help them when a teacher isnt understanding them at school to be able to speak up and say, no that isnt what I meant and you need to understand me. It is easy for them to see how frustrated we are selves get when not being understood, and they  maybe reacting because they see how frustrating we get. I hope this helps a little and if you need anything feel free to email me:) Both my girls have severe hearing loss and us HOH moms have to stick together!!  Good Luck with the move!

lauraslefthook
by Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:56 AM

First off, big hugs because I know this is frustrating.

I can imagine that maybe why it feels really bad right now is because the whole family is out of sorts a bit because of moving. 

I think when you get settled I would ask the new place to re-evaluate her goals.  I cannot imagine just dropping a goal because there was not improvement.  It seems like there should be another way to go about getting to that goal.  Perhaps having new people working with her will help get a fresh perspective and new ideas.

I agree with the others that say that all kids do things like this, not just HOH kids.  Also, the extra signing may help.  We are past needing that with my daughter, who is also moderate/severe and five years old.  She just is not really interested in using signs anymore because her communication works well without it.  I miss it myself and would like to learn more anyway.

 

aramat
by Member on Feb. 21, 2010 at 9:47 PM

with my 5 year old son, we checked out a lot of books from the library on feelings (kids picture books), also Signing Time has a video on feelings, that and telling him he needed to calm down and take deep breaths...sounds corny but it really helped

nonni2
by Member on Feb. 25, 2010 at 1:23 PM


Quoting aramat:

with my 5 year old son, we checked out a lot of books from the library on feelings (kids picture books), also Signing Time has a video on feelings, that and telling him he needed to calm down and take deep breaths...sounds corny but it really helped


we just started checking out these videos from the library, lots of fun.  i tell my son take a deep breath, think about what u want to say then say it.   he now tells me to take a deep breath when i get upset.lol.   

Icesugi
by New Member on Oct. 25, 2011 at 2:01 PM

 I HAVE DEAF DAUGHTER AND I M DEAF MOTHER. ALL U HAVE TO TELL HER THAT YOU CAN NOT UNDERSTAND WHEN SHE S UPSETTING AND TELL HER TO USE SIGN TO COMMUNICATE IF SHE REFUSE TO GET HER ACT TOGETHER THEN U WONT UNDERSTAND HER . THAT WHAT I DO WITH MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE I TOLD HER NOT TO FLIPPED OUT AND USE WORDS MORE TO COMMUNICATE RESPECTFULLY. KEEP REPEATING REMINDING HER THAT U WOULD BE UNDERSTANDING HER BETTER IF SHE USE SIGN LANGUAGE . AND MAYBE NEED MORE SIGN LANGUAGE . WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS JUST ONLY 1 YEARS OLD AND WAS GOING TO BE 2 AND SHE START TO HAVE A FIT BECAUSE SHE COULDNT SAY A WORD. SO I EDUCATED HER BY GUIDING ME TO SOMETHING ON WHAT SHE TRYING TO SAY SO I EDUCATE HER A SIGN LANGAUGE FOR THOSE THING  ON WHAT SHE TRYING TO SAY INSTEAD OF THROWING HER TEMPER AT ME SO IT WORKS FROM THERE AND SHE S NOW 8 YEARS OLD AND IS FULLY FULENT IN AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE. IT IS DEFENTIFILY A LOT OF WORKS TO EDUCATING IN SIGN LANGUAGE BUT IN THE END WOULD WORTH U VERY WELL AND U WILL HAVE A AMAZING COMMUNICATION SKILL WITH YOUR CHILD FOR SURE ! :) GOOD LUCK :)

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