Heart valve replacement

[VLY]

My husband has custody of his two kids, however due to his job and bm having moved now three hours away, I am the one that takes care of most of the doctors visits / school stuff

Oldest sd10 has a heart defect repaired by a pig valve. Was inserted when she was barely 24 hrs old.

She also as a chronic bleeding dissorder requiring hospitalization many times a year and routine IV infusions. (99% of which I end up staying with her through so I am no stranger to staying in a hospital)

However she is due for a replacement on her heart valve and will be in the hospital for one week minimum.

I also have a 4month old baby that is exclusively breastfed...

do any of you have experience with bringing a "dependent" baby into the hospital with you? where did you have them sleep? I know there is a small fold out chair for the parents but not enough extra room to bring the full packnplay...

advice?

we are hoping dh can get the full time off from work in which case I will be staying in a hotel and go up for visiting hours, however if he can't get all the time off I would have to take over (bm can't afford to take much time off either as she is hurting for money apparently)

We are scheduled for a heart cath procedure the 17th, which will tell us if they can balloon the conduit or if they need to schedule open heart surgery (which they told us is a bigger possibility due to she is still using her infant one) at her last ultrasound her heart pressures were up to 63 :/

we are so very nervous for her :(

[VLY]

I just called and asked... nope they would be more willing to let a 10yr old stay by herself at night after just being cut wide open and tubes all over the place then allow me to bring my baby into the hospital (Oh, he can be there with us during visiting hours but not AT NIGHT!)

How is he going to infect her at night that won't happen during the day?

If it is not infection they are worried about, what then? that I won't take care of my baby??

Or perhaps it is the space?

I don't know... I guess I am just really flabergasted that they would be so unnaccomodating and not really care if she had no one there at night with her!

I have ALWAYS spent the night with her in the hospital- she has never stayed the night alone before!

[Evana]

My daughter had 2 OHS at a Children's hospital. Siblings can visit here but not spend the night.  Only 1 parent can stay in the room. I understand the reasoning because the baby might disturb other patients.  I can tell you that when a roommate has a baby sibling visit and it cries, I get very annoyed.  I'm not being mean but when you are tired and stressed, you don't want to listen to a sibling who doesn't HAVE to be there.  Plus the diapers, baby's food, etc are all infection type things they try to avoid.  We usually get a hotel and once we got the Ronald Mcdonald room (siblings can stay there with a parent).

My daughter has had 2 heart ablations this year and has been hospitalized a few times in the past 2 years. Honestly, I'm too stressed out to have our 2 year old around in the hospital.  When he was a baby, I left him with other family members but I didn't breast feed.  Thats a tough one but I guess you might need to start pumping. 

Sorry about this situation.  Hope your daughter will be ok.

[VLY]

he has yet to take a bottle...not sure how that will go... plus if I pump I face leaving him three hours away from me with a sitter for possibly two whole weeks....

I am very conciencious when we bring him into the hospital, he barely cries here at home but in the hospital I take care of things as though we were in church.

I Do understand the reasoning.... I'm just not thrilled about the possibility of leaving EITHER of them alone in this time. The baby has never had a babysitter yet, and Eldest has never stayed over night or been through a major surgery that SHE can remember :(

[Evana]

I totally know where you are coming from.  I had to leave my son when he was 5 months ad 7 months old when Jaycee was in the hospital.  I didnt nurse so it wasn't as big of a deal and he was 2 hours from me. It's really hard! These situations suck.  I can tell you, as I'm sitting in the hospital for the 8th day now with Jaycee, that it was so much easier when he was a baby.  Now, he talks and wants to know where we are and is always afraid we are going to leave him and not come back.  These things take a lot out of siblings too.  That's my whine.  We need clones so both children feel security.

[VLY]

or childrens hospitals that are more family friendly.... but that takes money in a dry economy :(

Quoting Evana:

I totally know where you are coming from.  I had to leave my son when he was 5 months ad 7 months old when Jaycee was in the hospital.  I didnt nurse so it wasn't as big of a deal and he was 2 hours from me. It's really hard! These situations suck.  I can tell you, as I'm sitting in the hospital for the 8th day now with Jaycee, that it was so much easier when he was a baby.  Now, he talks and wants to know where we are and is always afraid we are going to leave him and not come back.  These things take a lot out of siblings too.  That's my whine.  We need clones so both children feel security.

[Wishing2BMommy]

Children's hospitals usually have social workers or Child Life..... Talk to one of them.  They're there to help you through this in any way.  When my son was in the hospital the social worker and child life came by once or twice a day to see how things were going...  From finding somewhere to stay, to issues you may have with a nurse or dr, or just to talk.  Hope this helps!! 

Maybe tell them you have no one, and see if you can play it one night at a time and see how it goes.