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CHILD ABUSE OR A PERSONAL PREFERENCE?

Posted by on May. 2, 2007 at 8:50 PM
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A black child's hair texture isn't 'set' until around the age of 7, but most of our baby girls get perms by or before then.....is this just a way to keep grooming easy, or is it laziness on the mothers part and better left alone? Tell us what you think!!!
by on May. 2, 2007 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momma2_be
by Member on May. 3, 2007 at 10:18 AM
PERSONALLY...i dont think i child hair should be permed before the age of 11...in most cases i belive parent who do due it (not knocking them!) do it to groom! perhaps theres not happy with there child texture ,etc! ....the parent who do it because there lazY, that pretty baD!!!!
soulsister72
by Group Owner on May. 3, 2007 at 10:24 AM
My friend put a relaxer on her daughter's beautiful natural hair and I wanted to KNOCK HER OUT!!! It takes major $$$ and upkeep to keep up a relaxer well, and all you need to do is wash, part, oil, blow-dry and style, in my opinion. You apply the chemicals WITH GLOVES for a reason....why subject your baby to such harsh chemicals? I already told everyone in my family that NO ONE is to perm my daughter's hair, NO ONE!!! It isn't necessary and it can mess up the follicles, so it makes no sense.....
fattkayjmama
by on May. 3, 2007 at 2:15 PM
I must admit that I was not to happy with the texture of my daughter's hair, so I did make a terrible mistake and relaxed it when she was 3yrs. old, but quickly had to cut it out, because it broke her hair off horribly.  I tried to use the hot comb and flat iron, but she just has her daddy's hair texture all the way. She is 12yrs old now and I have been relaxing it once every 8weeks, and braiding it, because it is very thick and hard for me to manage.
soulsister72
by Group Owner on May. 3, 2007 at 2:47 PM

Quoting fattkayjmama:

I must admit that I was not to happy with the texture of my daughter's hair, so I did make a terrible mistake and relaxed it when she was 3yrs. old, but quickly had to cut it out, because it broke her hair off horribly.  I tried to use the hot comb and flat iron, but she just has her daddy's hair texture all the way. She is 12yrs old now and I have been relaxing it once every 8weeks, and braiding it, because it is very thick and hard for me to manage.

8 weeks intervals on a 12 year old isn't as bad as a toddler with a weave b/c their hair is broken off from overprocessing. :oP
Mrs_Stiff
by on May. 3, 2007 at 10:52 PM
I woudln't say abuse, but it ain't right.  I do think part of it is laziness.  Parents don't realize the damage this does to a childs hair.  Not to mention, they never want to keep it up they way it's supposed to be.
soulsister72
by Group Owner on May. 4, 2007 at 11:37 AM

Quoting Mrs_Stiff:

I woudln't say abuse, but it ain't right.  I do think part of it is laziness.  Parents don't realize the damage this does to a childs hair.  Not to mention, they never want to keep it up they way it's supposed to be.

OKAY??!!?? Most of them start out getting the relaxer done correctly, and then they end up making the girl look homelessb/c they don't want to maintain it . I think a blow-out isn't hard, and most girls want to take part in grooming their own hair and can help out soon enough.
DulceBrowneyes
by on Jul. 26, 2007 at 2:26 PM
I really don't agree with a relaxer on a child under the age of 18. Your hormones are changing so much at that time, the chemicals in the relaxer can wreak some havoc on your head. Maybe at 16.... I got my first at 4, for my mom's wedding, but when she saw the results, she was so upset she cried. Half my hair fell out. My next one was at 7 or 8, and my mother did that one herself. I didn't start going to a salon until I was older and she found one she trusted. I think a lot of it is just a cultural thing; they did it to us b/c their moms did it to them. My sons and daughters (if I ever have any!) won't see a chemical until they're grown, and then only if they pay for it themselves and are legal adults. I don't mind tattoos, but hair's different. I wouldn't dump toxic waste on my child, so why would I put that crap on the most sensitive part of his body?
Blessed Be
1hotmamma212
by New Member on Jul. 26, 2007 at 3:30 PM
I don't think that anyone should get a relaxer, let alone a child.  If relaxers damage grown peoples heads, what do you think its going to do to a childs head.  I begged my mom not to relax my hair when I was 11, and when she did all my hair broke off and fell out.  I couldn't even put it in a ponytail anymore.  And besides the physical damage what about the mental?  Young girls already have to see all these commercials and ads with skinny white girls tossing their hair around.  By straightening their hair you are reinforcing the idea that they are supposed to look like what they see on tv and not what they are.  There are products out there that will make natural hair managable and beautiful and strong.  People just try to take the easy way out and do what they have been taught looks better.
soulsister72
by Group Owner on Jul. 26, 2007 at 6:32 PM
TELL IT, TELL IT, TELL IT!!! Did you see that case with Judge Hatchett going off on a mother trying to sue for her 3-YEAR-OLD getting 2ND AND 3RD DEGREE BURNS after a relaxer? She took this child to a shop she'd never seen before, much less patronized, and the stylist didn't even want to do it. The heffa tried to sue and the Judge told her she was foul on too many different levels to prevail and favored the defendant. I wanted to do a drive-by on her @$$!!!
Quoting 1hotmamma212:

I don't think that anyone should get a relaxer, let alone a child.  If relaxers damage grown peoples heads, what do you think its going to do to a childs head.  I begged my mom not to relax my hair when I was 11, and when she did all my hair broke off and fell out.  I couldn't even put it in a ponytail anymore.  And besides the physical damage what about the mental?  Young girls already have to see all these commercials and ads with skinny white girls tossing their hair around.  By straightening their hair you are reinforcing the idea that they are supposed to look like what they see on tv and not what they are.  There are products out there that will make natural hair managable and beautiful and strong.  People just try to take the easy way out and do what they have been taught looks better.



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VegasNursingMom
by New Member on Aug. 22, 2007 at 5:38 PM
I would say it's usually laziness, sometimes lack of knowledge.  My mom always washed, combed and styled/pressed my hair every week, and it was long and healthy.  I begged for a relaxer when I was 12, she finally gave in, and my hair has never been the same since...

My daughter has really long wavy hair (just got bangs for the first time), and I am NEVER going to do anything chemical to her hair.  She loves all the different things I do to it.  And, she understands that the versatility comes from leaving the hair in its natural state.  

I don't do anything to my boys' hair other than brush it and moisturize it.  When they turn 1, I cut off the curls and keep it bald.  I'm not a fan of braids for little boys.

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