I figured that we need to have a few laughs now and then... So I'll start!!!
Finally It's
Done!
Something
I have been waiting for has finally happened!
You can
expect to hear from me even more frequently now!
I finally got the
bathroom done.!
This gives new meaning to
'Going Online'...
May you be
blessed with a good chuckle today.
~Just type or copy and paste the links for the group!~
HAPPILY MARRIED??? JOIN: www.cafemom.com/group/happymarriages
RAISING A PRINCESS??? JOIN: www.cafemom.com/group/littleprincesses
~~Wife to Benny~~~~~Mother to Leyla Jade born 8-8-07~~
I just got this joke through an email from a friend of mine. My husband really liked it..hahah
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the
> family business.
> When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father
> died, he decided
> he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
> One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he
> had ever seen.
> Her natural beauty took his breath away.
> 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few
> years, my father will die,
> and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.'
> Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three weeks later, she
> became his stepmother.
> Women are so much better at estate planning than men.......
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later...."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
HAHA I like this one!
The Hikers
One day, Joe, Bob and Dave were hiking in a wilderness area when they came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
Joe prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, although he almost drowned a couple of times.
Seeing this, Dave prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
Bob had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools, and the intelligence, to cross this river."
Poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH:
10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians ... and you check the table of contents.
9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.
8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.
7) Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Hercules.
6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible.
5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents.
4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"
3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.
2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums. And the number one sign you may not be reading your Bible enough:
1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."
One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the
people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the
most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a
$1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and
said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to
the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so
much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in
the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him!"
I don't know how funny this one really is - it's more of a tricky joke - but was one of my late FIL's favorites. I like passing it along. You will ned a few props in order to tell the joke to others - one penny, one nickel, one quarter (or other denomination). Ready - here goes!
Johnny's Mom had three sons. When the first son was born, the father checked his pockets. He pulled out a nickel. "Great! We'll call him Nicholas!" When the second son was born, the father again checked his pockets. This time he pulled out a penny. "Wonderful. This time we'll name him Penny!" When the third son was born, the father pulled out a quarter. What was the name of the third son?
Sorry - was just the line of humor my FIL had..... lol. Man, I miss him!!! He was a lot of fun.... and a tip, in case you get it the first time, just start re-reading it from the beginning... I think reading it helps...verbally my FIL had to repeat it three times before I got it...but I'm known to be "slow" at jokes like this....
wanna see good clean comedy check out www.bananascomedy.com
I got season 1 for my huby and I's 3rd wedding anniversary and love it!!!
My FIL was known for his jokes too....though instead of "Clye-Jokes" they were referred to as "Pitner humor"... our last name is Pitner.
Quoting ArtisticMom2005:
haha. Okay I'm done now. Sorry I get a little carried away with jokes. I love a good joke. I'm actually known among my friends for my sense of humor. I get it from my "Daddy" hehe He's a true goof-ball. His name is Clyde. All throughout our church growing up there would be jokes circulating that either my dad came up with or people thought sounded like something he would say and they were referred to as "Clyde-Jokes". :-)
What Christian albums would you recommend for me??
- 1ofgodsprincess
on Sep. 5, 2008 at 5:43 PM