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HELP! 4 year old may be getting kicked out of preschool!!

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 12:59 PM
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my 4 yr. old has always been hyper, full of energy, and this year he started preschool. the past few weeks have been a handful with michael's school. he's been having trouble controlling his behavior is what they r saying. they said he's not "bad" just uncontrollable in the classroom. mostly cannot sit still, and when told to go in time out, he makes loud annoying noises. then the next day he was sitting in the classroom, and out of the blue pulled the little girls hair next to him. he was put in time out, and again wouldnt stop making loud noises. then he did it to somone else, so they sent him to the office, and he was playing or something, but they told him it was time to stop, and talk and call mom...but he went crazy like a adhd bipolar out of contorl...what he did was he hit the lady in the office on her arm, and was throwing himself out of control because he didnt want to do what they wanted, and they tried to control him, but he tried to bite, then finally he calmed down. i thought they were bullshitting, but we went to the dr. yesterday, and cynthia,alexis, and the baby was playing in the room...cynthia, alexis, and michael were playing a lil rough and loud, but when the dr. came in, she wanted to listen to him breath. he was twisting his body around all out of control, and threw himself on the floor, and i was doing everything i could to get him to stop, then the dr. picked him up and tried talking to him, hesmacked the dr. and tried to bite her, and alexis(his sister's friend) stepped in...he head butted her in the lip, then cynthia (his sister) stepped and he thought all this was funny like a game or something. it was weird like he was possesed man!!! but i then held him in my lap and crossed his arms and wouldnt let go until he'd calm down...after a few sec. he calmed down. he's been almost kicked out of pre-school. they are pressuring me to medicate him...i thought it would be best to take him out of preschool, and maybe put him in the park-center mental health preschool so he can be in a more controlled environment. it goes to 4th grade, and it would give a chance to better figure out what the heck is going on. when he's at home, he's constantly running after the cat, and holding her and being a little rough too...i have to lock the cat up! but i thought maybe he'll grow out of it a little after a few years. he's always crazy running around the house at home, and we of course lock all the bedrooms so he cant get into things. but i was also thinking, he's only 4...maybe i should just take him out of school until he has to go and then go from their?? he needs meds. but i want him properly diagnosed. they say adhd, but me and the school counselor think it is, but something more. then the physchologist said well, let's get the adhd undercontroll, then see if he has any more problems. is this how they diagnose? drug him for one thing, then see if he acts out any differently?? the pharmacy says most drugs havent even been tested in kids under six. i am so confused on what to do!!!!!!

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 12:59 PM
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by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:04 PM

before you medicate PLEASE have a food panel rast test for IgG & IgE done to rule out a sensitivity. 

Remove all artificial colors & flavors from his diet.

Rebecca, Jordan Essentials, A.R.

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by on Oct. 30, 2009 at 7:55 AM

Much of the medication of children is simply trial and error. I would do my best to keep a young child off meds as long as possible. The idea of a more controlled environment for school is a good one. They hopefully can help you figure out what triggers your son's behavior. You should first work at some type of Behavior Modification training to help get your son under control. Then, cognitive behavior therapy can be useful when your son is older, even maybe even now if you could find someone capable of working with him at age 4. My son started cognitive behavior therapy at age 5, but she was a very good psychologist.

You need someone really good to distinguish what exactly is going on with your son. I would want someone familiar with Autism Spectrum Disorders. I don't' like the idea of getting the adhd under control when maybe it isn't adhd, but something else, and the medication for the adhd may mask the symptoms of another disorder, but that is just my opinion. I am not in your shoes. Also be aware that all the stimulant meds for adhd can make a child more aggressive, so if you do start meds and his aggression increases, it may simply be the meds.

Do watch what he eats and see if you notice any connections in food and outbursts. I've not done all the diet things, but I really watch the processed foods, and have noticed that some really do make my child act up more. Also, my son needs protein to balance out any carbs and sugars he eats, or he does not do well at all.

Oh, look up Sensory Processing Disorder

See if any of it applies. These children can be very hard to control until you figure out what triggers them. Best of luck and hang in there. It takes time to get a good dx, and a good plan in place. 

by on Oct. 30, 2009 at 11:32 AM

i forgot to add that i have 5 kids, one on the way...besides michael, my older 3 have adhd too...possibly something else like bi-polar, or asd??

by on Oct. 30, 2009 at 10:52 PM

I'd try feingold.  See 

It is a program that teaches you how to get artificials out of your diet.  I can't tell you how many mom's over on their message board had kids that were nearly kicked out of preschool.

Diet has helped my son so much.  I wish I knew about it during his preschool years.  If nothing else it might give you some time.

by on Oct. 31, 2009 at 12:21 PM

We had the exact problem with our daughter and we got it under control before we started with PreK.  She has severe sensory processing disorder and there are things that set her off, but we know them now.  I would go to the pediatrician and ask for a referral to someplace like Egleston childrens hospital where they do evalutions for Autism, Asperger, Sensory Processing and ADD/ADHD.  That way you can get the diagnosis and present it to the school and ask for a 504 plan for you child.  They cannot kick your kid out of school with one of these unless he does somehing seriously crazy. 

Good luck with it.

by on Oct. 31, 2009 at 1:40 PM

Been there and done all of that. My son Has ASD, ADHD, Bipolar and ODD. He only lasted 2 weeks in preK. We still have issues in school, but with a proper 504, IEP, and BIP in place you can somehow survive. Of course we do have those days that he does something that lands him in ISS(In School Suspension) and he has been sent out to DAEP which is an alternative school placement that is similar to boot camp. But after last year we are working SpED to try to keep him out of there because kids like that do not grasp it and do not thrive under those conditions. All of these ladies have given very good advice, and I wish you the best :)

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:42 PM

My sone was kicked out of 2 day care centers by shortly after his 3rd b-day.

We also do Feingold here.  A good place to start, but also agree you should look into IgG and IgE food allergy testing - maybe for all of them.  Especially if you can get it through insurance.  You can read here to see what supplements we use.  We did diet and supplements alone until a little over a week ago.  We are doing some things now, medically, that we hope will allow us to eliminate those meds (heavy metal testing and elimination).

I also wanted to mention that certain classes of drugs (like stimulants and anti depressants) can make certain other conditions (like bi-polar) worse.  So it would be a VERY good idea to push for a formal evaluation.  You should be able to get one through your school district.

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