A Success Story OFF THE MEDS

[cameon]

I really believe every child is different. My son is 8 and his story is similar to your son's in many ways. Not quite as "hard-core" maybe for lack of a better word. I relate to the lying and the daily phone calls. My son has a temper, he's defiant, he argues about everything. He has some social issues and problems with getting bullied (or at least he perceived it that way). There were problems in kindergarten with self-organization. More often than not he was sent home without his back pack, jacket, gloves or hat that he had arrived with earlier in the day. Teaching him to do anything like the steps to bathroom etiquette, or putting on his own clothes seemed impossible. By the first week of first grade his teacher was calling me every other day, basically stating he was a sweet child but she was highly concerned because he couldn't sit still, pay attention, organize etc. During a conference the teacher looked at me like I was crazy when I mentioned I thought it was possible he was gifted, or highly intelligent. I didn't think it was crazy. He seemed to pick up on concepts very quickly from walking and talking to reading and computer operation. The phone calls from school continued. The principal, the teacher, the bus driver. It took us the entire first grade year to get him diagnosed with ADD.

p.s. the music teacher said he seemed to understand and enjoy music far more than other children.

We bought him a drum set. And an electric guitar. And a piano.

The books and the doctors recommended medication. They said it was a shame not to medicate him so he could think clearly. We put him on Concerta.

During second grade, the phone calls stopped. The teacher seemed disconnected. But she told us he was doing great. She said he understood algebra. 

I didn't know that. I don't understand algebra. She said she called him her "little mathematician."

I said I thought my son could be gifted. She didn't laugh at all. She thought he should be tested.

"How does one get an accurate IQ reading when testing a child with ADD?" I thought. 

But still, it wasn't settling well, the Concerta. It just didn't settle well no matter how much I tried to convince others (and myself) that it was a good idea and the right decision.

By the end of 2nd grade my son was well-adjusted. Not symptom free by any means but school was better. He still never brought home his backpack. Or homework. His grades went up.

But there were side-effects from the meds. A fear of everything. Especially bikes, bugs, and anything dangerous–like escalators. Compulsively biting his fingers until they bled and built callouses. Terrets-like symptoms. Eye-blinking, compulsive throat clearing. He lost close to 20 pounds. And he had horrible anxiety being around people. He wanted to be left alone most the time. Grumpy.

It's Summer Vacation. What a perfect time to take him off the meds and see how he does. It's been a year, afterall. Whoa! 2 days of running in circles and talking and laughing. And he was STARVING. My friends looked at him in amazement. "I've never seen anything like this," my friend said.

Several days later he calmed down. Still hungry. We went to the coast. He climbed a 30 foot rock with his new campsite friends. He rode his bike. My family said it was nice to have "the old Shea" back. "He's so friendly and happy," they said in surprise. 

3rd grade started off the meds.

The teacher was calling every several days again. "He can't sit still for even one minute."

I put my happy Shea on a different type of med.

Same side-effects.

Back off the meds.

It was clear resources in public schools were limited for children with ADD. Borderline non-existent. His self-esteem plummeted. 

I pulled him out of school. My dad homeschools him while I'm at work. Two days a week he goes to a co-op through the public school system, for parents that homeschool. He takes classes like Lego Science and Japanese Culture. He does lessons on the computer. He goes to the YMCA. He LOVES school now. He LOVES learning. 20 minutes of work, 15 minutes of play. Repeat. His progress report for November is outstanding. Sounds way more interesting then what I learning in school.

Anyway, Shea is still off meds. He is happy. He's trouble. He's difficult. He argues and lies and loses his temper. But he knows we love him. He can learn social skills at his own pace (a little slower than others). And he can learn academically at his own pace (the speed of lightning).

Oh by the way. The co-op principal called his old school and found his test scores from an IQ test he received in 1st grade. I guess that memo didn't make it home. It said he was tested in the top 10%. That was off the meds. 

Funny. I thought that piece of information may have been notable at the time. Maybe it was lost in a file. Remember those manilla folders with paper in them that we used to use. I think they still do.

Things get lost.