Please read I need advice ASAP. UPDATED

[cutie222]

 

So I spoke with the teacher yesterday before school and asked her about the detention.  She said that she did give him detention because of a behavior issue that had been happening all week and that she had to follow through and was only going to give him 5 minutes of detention.  She also said that the reason she didn't write it on the behavior sheet was because she was going to put it on that day Friday.  So when my son got home that day I checked his behavior sheet.  She didn't write anything at all about the detention.  Now usually I would just figure that was because we had talked but after our meeting last Monday when I was told that my son didn't have behavior problems I now wonder if as I said in my original post she just doesn't want to document it.  So I wrote on this behavior chart too about our talk and asked why she didn't document it as she  said she would.   I always copy these and journal these communications.  I also gave her a copy of my sons Occupational therapists recommendations of activities to do during the day stating that if she was going to use this as a form of discipline then she would need to employ these techniques for my son.  Since these things are not stated in the IEP yet.  I plan to have them put in there at the next one in the beginning of June.  I put up a post about books and if anyone has any suggestions on some good ones to read before this IEP meeting I would highly appreciate it.  Thanks for all the advice.

 My son came home from school very upset today.  To the extent that he locked himself in his room and when he did come out he was threatening his teacher and on the verge of crying.  Anyways he said that he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow because he is supposed to get detention during recess due to some behavior issue he had with his regular ed. teacher.  The thing is that they do a behavior chart that comes home daily and there is no mention of this whatsoever.  So I am not sure what to think and am wondering what the best way to deal with this is.  See just this past Monday I met with everyone about problems I have regarding this school.  Some of which that came up was the fact that my son has been developing behaviors since being at this school and I am convinced and so is my sons Psychologist that these behaviors are due to the schools lack of consistency and lack of structure and routine.  So no matter how many times I tell the school this they refuse to accept any responsibility for it. Even though my sons Psychologist attended this meeting so she too could tell them.   Well at this meeting I brought up these behaviors and as they usually do they denied there was any problem.  So we brought out the daily charts to show there was a problem.  Plus I told them that the teachers have spoken with me on quite a few occasions about it.  Well what really gets me is that these teachers will not say anything for fear of there jobs.  Even the Facilitator does this and I know it is fear of losing their jobs because my sons teacher last year told me this.  They just act like I am overreacting.  So of course I have to wonder if maybe they didn't want to document this because of what was said at the meeting.  Since I want to transfer my son to a new school next year but for some reason the principal does not want this. So I am confused on how to go about handling this.  Of course I will make a note on the chart of this detention and ask why it is not on the chart.  And there is a slight chance that my son misunderstood her since he has done this before due to his receptive-expressive language disorder.  But since he is so upset I have to think that something happened and they are not telling me for some reason.  So any advice is appreciated.  Oh and along with the language disorder my son has an anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder with a possibility of a mood disorder although some Drs. say PDD-NOS.   Thanks in advance. 

[rccmom]

All I can say is get your son out of that school. I still feel guilty that I left my son in a simliar school situation and took too long to remove him. They did him damage by their lack of understanding, consistency, and their incompetence. We left that school after his 3rd grade year, and now in his 6th grade year he has made a lot of progress, partially due to a much more suited school for him.

Meanwhile, yes, your son could have misunderstood. I have at times had to go back and tell the teacher that I needed some info on what had happened. I would let her know that your son had such a severe reaction to whatever the incident was.

Document everything. If you have an email from a teacher talking about a problem with your son, save the email. As a matter of fact, I would prefer they email me so I have a copy, rather than calling me on the phone. Then, what does the school psych say? How about the counselor? Is your child on an IEP or 504? If he is on an IEP or 504, go to the head of special services for the entire district and explain your difficulties calmly, with documentation, and ask what they can do to help facilitate your child's education.

[cutie222]

 I learned last year to document everything.  I also make notes on every conversation and will not meet with anyone without my advocate present since what happened last year I realized it was a waste of my time since they would deny saying things. 

Who is special services?  I have called legal services, and the academic manager and a lady from our area regional office was at the meeting none of them will do anything except pass it to someone else.  Next I am thinking of calling the Office of Compliance and Monitoring again which I had to do last year but I am not sure who is above them?  I have even debated contacting the news channel to investigate. 

Quoting rccmom:

All I can say is get your son out of that school. I still feel guilty that I left my son in a simliar school situation and took too long to remove him. They did him damage by their lack of understanding, consistency, and their incompetence. We left that school after his 3rd grade year, and now in his 6th grade year he has made a lot of progress, partially due to a much more suited school for him.

Meanwhile, yes, your son could have misunderstood. I have at times had to go back and tell the teacher that I needed some info on what had happened. I would let her know that your son had such a severe reaction to whatever the incident was.

Document everything. If you have an email from a teacher talking about a problem with your son, save the email. As a matter of fact, I would prefer they email me so I have a copy, rather than calling me on the phone. Then, what does the school psych say? How about the counselor? Is your child on an IEP or 504? If he is on an IEP or 504, go to the head of special services for the entire district and explain your difficulties calmly, with documentation, and ask what they can do to help facilitate your child's education.

 

[rccmom]

Different schools are set up dfiferently. The head of special services where I was at was the person in charge of all Special Ed for the district. I talked to him after the principal was going behind the school psych's back, and not even honoring her own contract she set up with my son and me at one of her meetings. He was sympathetic, but by then I was too disgusted to keep fighting. Plus, all the fighting was not helping my son, but simply making them resent him.

You sound like you are doing everything. I pulled my son out of his school, explained to the principal why, enrolled him in a Montessori school, but then my husband got transferred out of state. Again, my only regret was not pulling my son out earlier. Our kids don't deserve this kind of treatment.