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How do parents do it?

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 9:49 PM
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How do parents deal with little boys who have ADHD?  My son is 6 yrs old and sometimes I can't handle him.  If nyone has ideas on how to handle him I would greatly appreciate it.
by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 9:49 PM
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by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 10:01 PM
It is tough.  My son was diagnosed 8 years ago and there were times when I would have to shut my self in my closet for fear of losing control and doing or saying something that I would regret. 

When my son would get out of control - we would have him take a bath, shower or go swimming if possible.  The water or feel of water has always had a calming effect on him and I have heard other people say the same for their ADHD children.   As I write this, I hear my son showering.  It is number 3 of the day.  
by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 10:04 PM
first, you have to take care of yourself so you have the patience to deal with him. My son is also six and is ADD inattentive and yelling just makes things worse especially if he has low self-esteem. Charts with rewards work for some not me. We have a night together once a week. We paint or make pottery or even bake. It is a NO stress night. He can be as goofy as he wants
I even get goofy and we have  a lot of fun. He is always asking is it our night tonight. When it comes to dealing with behavior issues , stick with what you say., don't give in and make sure you and your husband areon the same page.
If issues are he is hyper, change his diet, look at different alternatives to meds. My son has trouble falling asleep at night and we use guided imagery.
It helps relax him and he has to concentrate on his breathing ,so it is good for paying attention. Hope I helped.
by on Jun. 14, 2007 at 10:12 PM
My Dear,
Sorry that I cannot give you much hope.  Mine was diagnosed @ 5 and he is 17 - - - it just gets worse.  You do the best you can, Get a good psychologist for him to dispense the best meds you can, after you get a complete evaluation.  Get a good counselor, for you and for him, get a wrap around, mobile therapist, whatever is available to you.  Go to the welfare office, you can (I know about PA check in your state) get a medical card for him and all medications, doctor visits, therapy, etc are paid for now and the rest of his life.  He will need to be enrolled in special needs @ school, to protect him and your rights @ school because it is going to be a NIGHTMARE!!!  He may even qualify for Social Security benefits because it is a handicap, he may need it after 18. You have to be strong, read up on as much information as you can, you're going to need it. 
You can try caffine, it has the adverse effect on ADHD kids.  Also they are doing studies on Omega 3 and it is supposed to help along w/ the meds.
They told me he would grow out of iti by 15 - WRONG - it just gets worse and more aggressive symptoms arise.  It's AWFUL.  I'm living in hell now and there is no way out.
Good luck and stay in touch, I can be there for ya' babe -- - believe me, I'm been through it all and I'm there for you.
by on Jun. 15, 2007 at 12:17 AM
One of the best things that I did for myself was to accept the fact that my son isn't going to be as well behaved as the other kids, and just let him be. By the time he was three, I just stopped taking him out in public unless I had to, and just tried to ignore the hairy eyeball that I always got when he inevitably acted up for whatever reason.
Once we got his diagnosis and meds worked out, things did get better. Remember, he really isn't in control of himself at times.
So hang in there. This forum is a vast improvement to what was available just a few years ago - we're here to let you vent!
by on Jun. 15, 2007 at 3:12 AM

Having  a sense of humor helps

by on Jun. 15, 2007 at 10:33 AM

Definately realize that your child isn't going to be like other "normal" kids.  That helps a lot.  I think we tend to expect our children to behave like everyone else's.  I is NOT going to happen.
Also, don't be afaid to give yourself a "time out".  I have to do it all the time.  I go to the bathroom or my bedroom and breath.
My son is doing behavior modification right now.  It is a huge help because they teach you how to get better behavior out of your child, in the way that will work for your family, and ins. may cover it.  At least ours does.  I think this in combo with the meds. is really helping.
We still have many issues, especially because I think he has bipolar also.  But they are still way better than before.

by on Jun. 18, 2007 at 9:30 PM

Quoting dougdenise:

Having  a sense of humor helps

I've decided to start drinking.... HEAVILY!  JUST KIDDING!!! 
by on Jun. 18, 2007 at 9:34 PM
Oh, yes -
Drinking too much became a vice of mine for a while. What made me quit was a) how much booze costs; and b) the fact that it was making me fat!
by on Jun. 18, 2007 at 9:48 PM
My son uses time outs as a time to cool down. They are not punishments, just time he needs to calm down. Yelling and spankings just make it worse because he already feels very bad for whatever happened and out of control. I would take him into my room and lock the door and just sit there with him til he worked out his issues. Then one day when he acted up, he realized it and went into my room by himself and shut the door! I was in shock, then started laughing. We made up his closet with a beanbag and blankets and toys and thats his little private space.

Also, I dont take him to public places very much either and when I do, I make sure its not a busy time. I.E. dont go to Walmart when its crowded or noisy. I warn other parents that hes special needs so theyre not surprised. And you will always get those looks. Get used to it.

Try for the medical help like someone else said. We have insurance and make too much money so we cant get any help, but I tried! We never have any money because it goes to drs and meds. I'm spending $60 this week alone on Dr copays. Get a psychologist and get tested then get a psychiatrist for meds. Get tested at school so you can get special resources. He will need Content Mastery where he can do his school work with little distractions at the very least.

Good luck!
by on Jun. 18, 2007 at 9:51 PM
Ok, so seriously, I made the drinking joke before....

How to handle -

Find a great doctor - a psychiatrist to dispense medication if necessary.  Find a great psychologist, one that works in behavior modification.  Do not settle for less than that.  Work with your insruance to find one, they will help you.

A great way to help is create a written list of actions and consequences.   That way you will always be consistent with the consequences being imposed for his infractions, as will his father, his grandparents, babysitters, aunts, etc.  It really helps and as he gets older, it'll really help with his accepting responsibility.

PRAY PRAY PRAY - it's seriously the only way to get through the day.  It helps me.

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