Moms w/ kids w/ ADHD and /or Bi POLAR, etc....Moms w/ kids w/ ADHD and /or Bi POLAR, etc.... / General Discussion

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sticky To sit still or not to sit still that is the question

cutepachef

posted to General Discussion in Moms w/ kids w/ ADHD and /or Bi POLAR, etc....
on May. 22, 2008 at 9:53 PM

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I put this up somewhere else but I wanted to give it it's own post I want to know what you all think about this. Research what I am saying I will give you a name to start with his name is Jonathan Mooney. He talks about not making people with adhd sit still and why not and what happens. He talks about what happens when they are allowed some movement as well. I would love all your opinions and feed back on this. So please read on:

I would like to say something that I feel strongly about. I am not criticizing any one person just the school system in general for this and I know that this is not the place for it but I read something that has been said about what the school is saying and doing to two separate children probably in two separate schools. I am a parent advocate and I help parents get rights for their children that have disabilities. I have a son that has adhd. He has bi-polar and he has autism and other things as well. The school started to complain to me Brandon will not sit down he will not stay at his desk he will not keep attention. I let this go on for awhile. I tried to figure things out then one day I went to the school and I said to them stop making my son sit still. You have got to find another way to teach him that will allow him some movement. )I am not talking about running around or anything just some movement) I told them that children with adhd when made to sit still it makes their brains shut down and can and usually does cause more unwanted behaviors and outbursts in the classrooms so please stop making him sit still. Well they were good about it and found some things for him that helped him to move around to an extent. They got him one of those exercise balls so that he can sit on that to read that way he can bounce on it and move some he also has a special cushion that goes into his seat so that he can move around on that some as well. It is funny cause he is 13 he could not read or spell before that and 1 week after this change took place he started to read and spell. I am not against medications when needed Brandon is on his own share of meds. He takes Concerta once a day he takes risperdal twice a day, he takes hydroxyzine once a day as well. So I am not against medications but why not try to help out children learn to the best of their abilities a way that is tailored to them that helps them to learn to remember to have less outbursts with out adding more meds. This makes all the sense in the world to me since that is what they are there for to begin with right.  Please do not misunderstand me and think that I am saying not to medicate when needed I am not saying that but I am saying when did the school get to call the shots with that to make you feel like you have to medicate when there may be other options out there. We are good parents I know we are but sometimes the schools force an opinion us that is one sided because it is easier for them well the question then becomes what happened to the best interest of the student and what is best for him/her?
Written by on May. 22, 2008 at 9:53 PM

Replies:


  • debj49
  • by on Jun. 28, 2008 at 5:03 PM
  • I totally agree with you from my own sons experience. He doesn't sit still even when reading or writing.  If he spells or recites math something verbally he is moving. He says it helps him remember better. Now if we can just convince the schools of this.  

    DEB J Owner/Administrator  

    Moms With Adult Children, Raising Young Children Or Grandchildren  

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  • ladybuc
  • by on Jun. 29, 2008 at 6:53 PM
  • My son is 22 years old and still moves or fidgets when he is doing things.  He tells me that when he does it helps him think better.  As a mom who has delt with this for so long I have had many debates with teachers and administrations about this.  I say if it helps who does it really hurt.  Unless they are becoming physical with someone else. 
  • cutepachef
  • by on Jul. 9, 2008 at 11:32 AM
  •  I feel that as a parent of a 13 year old DD boy that most alot of times it is the typical child and typical adult that is not that empathetic to people with disabilities maybe it is because they are not exposed to it enough or that they are not properly educated on the situation but for what ever reason it may be I see that children who have disabilities seem to have large amounts of empathy because they understand how hard their own situation is and it allows them to be more understand of someone else's. I feel that Giving a child that has any type of disability what ever accomodations it is that they need is very important it does not give them a leg up from a typical child it just tries to make then even so that they can learn and by the way it is in the 504 law and IEPs that they are given these to better help them be as productive in their environment as possible. It in no way is used to make them feel better then others or that they deserve more then others. If anything alot of these child do not like that they have these accomodations because it makes them stand out and at times get picked on for something that they can not even help. It makes the playing field even for them because they have a disability. In the right environment a person can do anything. Point in case you are sent into an empty room do you stand up or do you bring in a chair? Probably bring in a chair and why would that be? So that you can sit and why do you need to sit cause your legs get tired. Now do you  just sit in that chair or do you bring in other things like a desk and paper and writing utensils as well. I say you would bring these things in because like everyone else you need these accomodations made to your environment to help you achieve your intended goal what ever that may be. It is Changing your environment to better help you as a person. How are we going to teach our children with disabilities if we can not understand this simple fact if in fact it is still ingrained in the very teachers that are educating our children with disabilities and they do not understand the extreme importance of accomodations that need to be made to better help them as individuals.
    Quoting OmahaMom1190:

    I certainly knew that my son was learning even though he could not sit still.  But in the past school year, while working with multiple sp needs students in my own classroom, I have wondered what the teacher would have been able to do for my child if her classroom had also had an autistic child with  hypersensitivity to sound, or what about a student with a fragile health condition. 

    BC I had a student with a respirator in my classroom, I had to insist that students stay seated.  BTW, my students were in high school.  I used a variety of innovative and research-based practices which allowed some structured movement

    I know my son wasn't in control of his constant noise-making and motion.  But I also knew there were other children in the room who needed teacher attention too.  I just don't think we do our children any favor by never expecting them to conform to the standards of the group.  I'm afraid some children expect to valued for their individuality but have no empathy for others.

  • vababe
  • by on Jul. 11, 2008 at 2:52 PM
  • my son is getting put on vy-vanse  i was researching it and it says it can cause sudden death or heart problems or blood vessel problems and can cause the child to be abusive...im not so sure of giving him thi med..has anyone ever had there child on it or seen someone that was on it and seen the side effects..what should i do
  • deadthumper
  • by on Jul. 28, 2008 at 11:19 PM
  • Just an opinion from an Adult ADHD'r with three ADHD kids who have thier own issue with an inability to sit still.  I have a problem with sitting still myself.  When I am anxious, it can get pretty bad, (the nickname Dead Thumper comes from my inability to keep my foot from tapping like Thumper in the movie Bambi and it would drive my mother so crazy that she would threaten to kill "Thumper" if I didn't stop! :))

    For me and for my children, the tapping is either to deal with anxiety or to have as a "controlled distraction" to filter out other distractions.  If it is the latter, this hyperactive movement, (that's all it really is, an inability to control one's movements, just like any hypteractive individual) no matter if it's tapping a pencil, tapping a foot, crossing and recrossing feet, etc., can be replaced with another-  an MP3 player with music, such as celtic music works well or if in a class room, they'll rarely let a child chew gum, but they can suck on sugarless candy to use as a new outlet for that activity they've given up.

    I also draw up a "pact" with my children's teachers in the beginning of the year.  They need to know that somedays, they are just going to have to be satisfied with my youngest dancing next to his desk or my oldest tapping his pencil eraser...that's as good as it's going to get every once in awhile and they are also allowed those days...:)

    ~DT

  • Jaciesmom22
  • by on Aug. 18, 2008 at 11:43 PM
  • I love this example of accommodating our children so that they can learn. My  opinion our our school system is...teaching is typically structured to accommodate most students. If our kids can't conform to the "standard"  teaching methods they get swept aside and inadvertently left behind. Let's face it, we all learn differently...some faster, some slower,  some by doing (hands on ) and some can simply read something and totally figure it out. I personally have to do something to learn it, very much hands on. Imagine how our kids could excel if they were offered multiple types of learning situations. Public schools in general just don't have the ability to do this and it's very unfortunate.

    My daughters teacher has said several times..."rules are rules and they pertain to everyone. Her ADHD doesn't excuse her in any way". "Allowing exceptions disrupt the class".

  • rccmom
  • by on Aug. 19, 2008 at 10:05 AM
  • I just got done reading a book this summer called "Boys Adrift" and it talks some about the problems many children, particularly boys, have in school.  The author, Dr. Sax, gave suggestions to what schools could do.  One school he mentioned started a sitting is optional rule, and it worked really well for the children and helped improved their learning.  Imagine that, a school recognizing that some children learn better by not sitting!!  Maybe there is hope. 

  • proudmomto5
  • by on Aug. 20, 2008 at 11:10 AM
  • My son's school principal encourages me to call from time to time to chek on him. We have worked out a paln where when my son is having difficulty sitting still and needs to actually get up my son raises his hand and tells the teachers he needs to go to the office or out into the hall for a few minutes. Most of his teachers last year would tell him to go to the principal's office without letting it be his choice so he would take it as he was in trouble and would blow up. So this year we will be trying other things. I guess my point is each is different and has different needs. It is the parents and the school's responsibility to make sure that child has their educational needs met somehow. We are fortunate enough that my older children are in schools where most of the teachers nad the principal are willing to work with the parents and the students on an individual basis. While there is certain rules that all students are expected to conform too they will do watever it takes to help the student on an individual basis because they understand that not everyone learns the same way.

  • Noahsmom0201
  • by on Sep. 4, 2008 at 11:42 PM

  • I have 2 sons with ADHD and it is a very big challenge to get the teachers to understan them and what they are going through. My oldest son is in 9th grade this year, my other son with ADHD is in 1st grade.  They both had a very difficult time in Kindergarten, Cole's (my oldest) teacher had no idea what ADHD was and he was always in trouble for moving, taking and of course disturbing the other kids. Noah on the other hand had a little bit more of an understanding teacher. I am against medications, and we used behavior modification and the reward system. Noah was allowed to go for walks and take notes (he though they were notes) to the office or other teachersjust toget him out of the room anda change of scenery. Cole did the same thing in grade school. I did end up putting Cole onmedication after trying nautral treatment. We went to the chiropractor and drank Reliv shakes daily (sometimes 4 times a day) I did a lot of research on medications and this was my basis for not medicating.  The schools have to be completely on board with the parent if we want to use natural treatment. My boys just could not handle school without meds. Hopefully we can wean them off later.

  • mamasweetk13
  • by on Sep. 10, 2008 at 10:02 PM
  • My 9 year old is constantly getting his name on the board or being sent to the hall because he will not sit still.  He is ADHD, ODD, and BiPolar and I believe maybe sensory issues as well.  We just stopped meds yesterday because they made him ill.  I have explained to the teacher his issues.  I have requested and been denied an IEP, I'm fighting that of course!!  But there is going to be a meeting next week, which they didn't really want me at, but oh well I'll be there.  And thanks to this post I have some more creative ideas to share with the teachers.  My son has to move or make noise.  That's how he works.  He has 3 siblings, so he's not used to quiet.  I can't even function in quiet.  I fidget at times as well.  He got in trouble for kneeling at his desk instead of sitting in the seat.  He has been in trouble for humming.  I suggested at the begining of the school year to give him time every day to take a break and walk the hall or get a drink or something, but I know she has not allowed this!  Hopefully I can get something accomplished with this meeting to put a plan in place for him.  His teacher this year is very old and very strict and does not want to accomidate him in any way! 

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