Moms w/ kids w/ ADHD and /or Bi POLAR, etc....
/ General Discussion
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Moms With Adult Children, Raising Young Children Or Grandchildren
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Quoting OmahaMom1190:
I certainly knew that my son was learning even though he could not sit still. But in the past school year, while working with multiple sp needs students in my own classroom, I have wondered what the teacher would have been able to do for my child if her classroom had also had an autistic child with hypersensitivity to sound, or what about a student with a fragile health condition.
BC I had a student with a respirator in my classroom, I had to insist that students stay seated. BTW, my students were in high school. I used a variety of innovative and research-based practices which allowed some structured movement
I know my son wasn't in control of his constant noise-making and motion. But I also knew there were other children in the room who needed teacher attention too. I just don't think we do our children any favor by never expecting them to conform to the standards of the group. I'm afraid some children expect to valued for their individuality but have no empathy for others.
Just an opinion from an Adult ADHD'r with three ADHD kids who have thier own issue with an inability to sit still. I have a problem with sitting still myself. When I am anxious, it can get pretty bad, (the nickname Dead Thumper comes from my inability to keep my foot from tapping like Thumper in the movie Bambi and it would drive my mother so crazy that she would threaten to kill "Thumper" if I didn't stop! :))
For me and for my children, the tapping is either to deal with anxiety or to have as a "controlled distraction" to filter out other distractions. If it is the latter, this hyperactive movement, (that's all it really is, an inability to control one's movements, just like any hypteractive individual) no matter if it's tapping a pencil, tapping a foot, crossing and recrossing feet, etc., can be replaced with another- an MP3 player with music, such as celtic music works well or if in a class room, they'll rarely let a child chew gum, but they can suck on sugarless candy to use as a new outlet for that activity they've given up.
I also draw up a "pact" with my children's teachers in the beginning of the year. They need to know that somedays, they are just going to have to be satisfied with my youngest dancing next to his desk or my oldest tapping his pencil eraser...that's as good as it's going to get every once in awhile and they are also allowed those days...:)
~DT
I love this example of accommodating our children so that they can learn. My opinion our our school system is...teaching is typically structured to accommodate most students. If our kids can't conform to the "standard" teaching methods they get swept aside and inadvertently left behind. Let's face it, we all learn differently...some faster, some slower, some by doing (hands on ) and some can simply read something and totally figure it out. I personally have to do something to learn it, very much hands on. Imagine how our kids could excel if they were offered multiple types of learning situations. Public schools in general just don't have the ability to do this and it's very unfortunate.
My daughters teacher has said several times..."rules are rules and they pertain to everyone. Her ADHD doesn't excuse her in any way". "Allowing exceptions disrupt the class".
I just got done reading a book this summer called "Boys Adrift" and it talks some about the problems many children, particularly boys, have in school. The author, Dr. Sax, gave suggestions to what schools could do. One school he mentioned started a sitting is optional rule, and it worked really well for the children and helped improved their learning. Imagine that, a school recognizing that some children learn better by not sitting!! Maybe there is hope.
My son's school principal encourages me to call from time to time to chek on him. We have worked out a paln where when my son is having difficulty sitting still and needs to actually get up my son raises his hand and tells the teachers he needs to go to the office or out into the hall for a few minutes. Most of his teachers last year would tell him to go to the principal's office without letting it be his choice so he would take it as he was in trouble and would blow up. So this year we will be trying other things. I guess my point is each is different and has different needs. It is the parents and the school's responsibility to make sure that child has their educational needs met somehow. We are fortunate enough that my older children are in schools where most of the teachers nad the principal are willing to work with the parents and the students on an individual basis. While there is certain rules that all students are expected to conform too they will do watever it takes to help the student on an individual basis because they understand that not everyone learns the same way.
I have 2 sons with ADHD and it is a very big challenge to get the teachers to understan them and what they are going through. My oldest son is in 9th grade this year, my other son with ADHD is in 1st grade. They both had a very difficult time in Kindergarten, Cole's (my oldest) teacher had no idea what ADHD was and he was always in trouble for moving, taking and of course disturbing the other kids. Noah on the other hand had a little bit more of an understanding teacher. I am against medications, and we used behavior modification and the reward system. Noah was allowed to go for walks and take notes (he though they were notes) to the office or other teachersjust toget him out of the room anda change of scenery. Cole did the same thing in grade school. I did end up putting Cole onmedication after trying nautral treatment. We went to the chiropractor and drank Reliv shakes daily (sometimes 4 times a day) I did a lot of research on medications and this was my basis for not medicating. The schools have to be completely on board with the parent if we want to use natural treatment. My boys just could not handle school without meds. Hopefully we can wean them off later.
My 9 year old is constantly getting his name on the board or being sent to the hall because he will not sit still. He is ADHD, ODD, and BiPolar and I believe maybe sensory issues as well. We just stopped meds yesterday because they made him ill. I have explained to the teacher his issues. I have requested and been denied an IEP, I'm fighting that of course!! But there is going to be a meeting next week, which they didn't really want me at, but oh well I'll be there. And thanks to this post I have some more creative ideas to share with the teachers. My son has to move or make noise. That's how he works. He has 3 siblings, so he's not used to quiet. I can't even function in quiet. I fidget at times as well. He got in trouble for kneeling at his desk instead of sitting in the seat. He has been in trouble for humming. I suggested at the begining of the school year to give him time every day to take a break and walk the hall or get a drink or something, but I know she has not allowed this! Hopefully I can get something accomplished with this meeting to put a plan in place for him. His teacher this year is very old and very strict and does not want to accomidate him in any way!
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