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Please help me... I need advice.

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:16 AM
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Someone please offer me advice. I am in need of help. I have no idea what to do with my son any longer...

I joined this group originally because my oldest daughter was diagnosed as being bi-polar at the age of 9. I went through hell with her. I was a single mother until she was 6 and from infancy she was violent. I dealt with her self abuse. I had a rib broken by her when she was 3 durring her stage where it was more fun to abuse others. Then we went though the verbal abuse when she learned how to use words. At 9 she started to bite herself. We finally found a good medication that helped level her out.

My concern now is not my daughter... although we are still dealing with puberty now and OMG does that have problems of its own! My middle child (3 years old) is giving me hell on a daily basis. I tried to overlook it telling myself that he is just a boy and he is hyperactive or something. But in the back of my head all I can think is that I am reliving the long ago days of raising my daughter again. He is mean..... REALLY MEAN. He beats his younger brother (2) and can not talk normally, ALL HE DOES IS SCREAM... The violent tantrums are getting worse on a daily basis. I finally mentioned to my husband (who has had ADHD since he was 5 and has since been on meds) that I think my son should be tested for either ADHD or for Bi-Polar. My youngest shows no signs of this kind of activity. He is super mellow and just ready to do whatever whenever. My middle one.... I am finding myself not even wanting to be in the same room with on more than one occasion durring the day because its more trouble than its worth.

Does anyone else have younger children who have either of these? Its been so long since my daughter and I have finally come so far with her... what should I be looking for in my son? I really am not wanting to instantly attach a "diagnosis" to him. I am not one of those parents looking to medicate becasue he throws a temper tantrum... this is so far beyond that.

I need to know if someone else has been in my shoes and if this could be true for a second time or if Im just seeing things that are not really there.Thanks for reading either way!


********** UPDATE **********

Thanks everyone! I have scheduled an apt for the Jan 12th. It will be his first evaluation. I will post new updates.

In other news... I just found out that my youngest son will be starting speech therapy on Monday! I figured he just didn't talk because my other two are loud and tend to drown him out. I knew he was a little behind.. but figured as my third baby he was just gonna take things at his own pace. Well, he flunked his last Ages and Stageseval. at his check up and now we get to have a specialist come to the house and start working with him.

I feel bad... have I really been so wrapped up in my other two that I neglected to notice his problems.... grrr... this is frustrating.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:16 AM
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babygurl29406
by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 3:39 PM

Let me start by saying that if it weren't for God and prayer, I would totally be insane right now.

I will start with my daughter. Rebekah is 9 years old and was diagnosed as having ADHD, PTSD, and depression at 4 and Bi-Polar at 7. The Dr. is close to saying she has some kind of schizo-affective disorder. She has been having lots of issues lately. When she went to the Dr. last week she admitted to having suicidal thoughts. She went into detail on how she wanted to and when. She said she just wanted to die to go be with Jesus in Heaven. The Dr. upped her Lexapro and I have to watch her closely and if she is still having these thoughts on December 22 when we go back, she will be admitted to the institute of psychiatry.

My son Joshua has just turned 5. At 2 he was diagnosed with ADHD. He wasn't put on meds. till he was almost 4. We took him to have his testing on 12-9 -08 and this is what they have came up with so far. He has PDD-NOS, anxiety, and numerous sensory problems. They think he is having petite mal seizures. He goes to see a pediatric neurologist in January. He has to have speech therapy, occupational therapy, and he needs to go see a developmental pediatrician.

So Yes I can feel for ya. Both my kids are very violent towards each other and most other ppl.

 

curveymomma
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:44 AM

Thank you for being honest. I was starting to think I was totally alone. I thought this group was a little more active. I will keep you and your family in my prayers... your house sounds a lot like mine!

Quoting babygurl29406:

Let me start by saying that if it weren't for God and prayer, I would totally be insane right now.

I will start with my daughter. Rebekah is 9 years old and was diagnosed as having ADHD, PTSD, and depression at 4 and Bi-Polar at 7. The Dr. is close to saying she has some kind of schizo-affective disorder. She has been having lots of issues lately. When she went to the Dr. last week she admitted to having suicidal thoughts. She went into detail on how she wanted to and when. She said she just wanted to die to go be with Jesus in Heaven. The Dr. upped her Lexapro and I have to watch her closely and if she is still having these thoughts on December 22 when we go back, she will be admitted to the institute of psychiatry.

My son Joshua has just turned 5. At 2 he was diagnosed with ADHD. He wasn't put on meds. till he was almost 4. We took him to have his testing on 12-9 -08 and this is what they have came up with so far. He has PDD-NOS, anxiety, and numerous sensory problems. They think he is having petite mal seizures. He goes to see a pediatric neurologist in January. He has to have speech therapy, occupational therapy, and he needs to go see a developmental pediatrician.

So Yes I can feel for ya. Both my kids are very violent towards each other and most other ppl.


rccmom
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 2:14 PM

I would have him tested.  I don't have any experience with bi-polar, but my youngest son threw horrible tantrums, and would bite at me, hit, kick, or head butt me when was a preschooler.  His eyes would go blank when he was in a rage like that.  We finally had him tested at age 5yrs, and he had/has adhd, combined type.  We talked about bipolar, but were able to get a handle on his anger through anger management therapy.  We didn't try meds because most of the adhd meds can increase aggression, and we did not want to increase his already violent tantrums.

At that time, the psychologist also mentioned that my son may place on the Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Well, now at 11 with most his adhd tendencies under control, he seems more and more like ASD.  We had him evaled outside the school and the psychologist thinks Aspergers, and the school is doing its own eval.  That would explain his meltdowns in his early years.

That's what I wanted to mention as a possibility.  Self injuring can be a sign of sensory seeking behavior in Autism.  Also, the meltdowns your middle child is having can absolutely also be a symtom of some form of Autism.  If he has sensory issues, his sensory system is so overloaded that all he can do is react violently.  I would have an eval done, and make sure they cover Autism Spectrum in their eval.

That being said, you really won't know til you have the eval.  It could be that you are partially reacting to your middle child based on how your first child was at that age.  I don't think you are, but that is one reason for the eval.  Find out, and work from there if it is bipolar, adhd, or asd.  The sooner you know and can intervene, the better the possible future outcome.

TeenageMom2
by on Dec. 18, 2008 at 1:18 PM

I have always felt that if you pray about it for awhile and you think it will benefit your SON then do it.  After all the hoop-ta-la from family and friends, I have a black belt in telling folks the same thing.... What will benefit your son?  Socially?  emotionally?  have him tested.  If you thought he had cancer or diabetes, you would .. right?  He may have a chemical imbalance and therefore, he needs meds. 

good luck and I'm new too :)

curveymomma
by on Dec. 19, 2008 at 3:45 AM

Bump... for updates!

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