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tired of being so tired...

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 4:53 PM
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My son is 8 years old has has ADHD, ODD, anxiety and possible bi-polar.  He drains every ounce of my being...  I am not trying to be overly dramatic, but I feel plain out DEFEATED today.  I find myself breathing and resting for a minute driving and I'll think "oh, everything is peaceful"...within a moment of this thought, all hell is breaking loose or he is coming up with a reason to take a shower.  He needs constant attention and cannot do anything by himself. My attitude is pretty bad right now and I am trying to count it out and remain helpful, but it is so hard lately.  My poor baby, I really want to help him so bad, but I cannot seem to find ways that help enough.  I just feel so burnt out and tired of the lying, the disrespect, the being followed to the bathroom, never being able to talk on the phone or have any privacy before bedtime, the asking him to pick up the freaking shirt AGAIN...ugghh...
 
We are treating my son with Strattera after going through every stimulant and we are getting nowhere.  He is on paxil and risperdal.  He has had a ton of therapy.  My son's inability to function due to ADHD is horrible. 
 
Okay, my vent has given me some mental help...lol  *sigh*
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 4:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mona330
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 7:42 PM

I feel you Momma. There is something in the air today I think. My son who is 12 and is also on Strattera but has been off it this summer, could not control himself while we were out. Take a breath. I admire you for being honest.clapping Some days are harder than others. I am here if you need to talk.

Mona
jalex
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 7:54 PM

Thanks Mona!  I am just happy that it is almost bedtime.  We have had lots of bad days in a row and it does take it's toll.  Enjoy your night, I know that I am...

Quoting Mona330:

I feel you Momma. There is something in the air today I think. My son who is 12 and is also on Strattera but has been off it this summer, could not control himself while we were out. Take a breath. I admire you for being honest.clapping Some days are harder than others. I am here if you need to talk.


rccmom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:10 PM

I don't know if it will help, but I found the ages 7-10 to be particularly difficult with my son. One study showed some children with adhd had a latter development in their frontal lobes, but did eventually catch up to their average peers. That is supposed to take place around the 10yr mark, and now that my son is 11, he has been showing more signs of control, but it was a daily, and even hourly struggle, and sometimes it still is, but it is much better.

One thing you may want to try is Omega 3 fish oil supplements. They did seem to help my son with his emotional ups and downs. Also, maybe read The Explosive Child by Greene, if you haven't. Your library may have a copy. In the meantime, hang in here Mama!!  I think we all go through those defeated days, but then we get up and try again cause we love our kids.

Jennifer331
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:49 PM

Something must be in the air,my son who is 17 has had 2 melt downs today over the most childish things. His  melt downs have actually gotten alot better in the last year,we went from having them 5-6 times a day to now a couple times a week. When he turned 12 and puberty started to kick in he seem to get alittle better.

jalex
by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 7:31 AM

Thanks for the info.  I have heard that these were the worst ages.  I know that before the 7 year mark, nothing seemed this hard.

My son has been taking the Omega 3 supplement for a while and it is worth keeping up.  Funny that you mentioned the book, I am 1/4 of the way through.  It has helped me remember that he doesn't like being so challenging ;)

Quoting rccmom:

I don't know if it will help, but I found the ages 7-10 to be particularly difficult with my son. One study showed some children with adhd had a latter development in their frontal lobes, but did eventually catch up to their average peers. That is supposed to take place around the 10yr mark, and now that my son is 11, he has been showing more signs of control, but it was a daily, and even hourly struggle, and sometimes it still is, but it is much better.

One thing you may want to try is Omega 3 fish oil supplements. They did seem to help my son with his emotional ups and downs. Also, maybe read The Explosive Child by Greene, if you haven't. Your library may have a copy. In the meantime, hang in here Mama!!  I think we all go through those defeated days, but then we get up and try again cause we love our kids.


BrinaBaby
by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 10:07 AM

You know I was looking through the posts today and yours really caught my attention. I don't think I could have put it any better myself. Feeling "defeated" is just the word isn't it?

I have 3 sons, the oldest is almost 20, the middle 18 and the youngest 12. All 3 children have some sort of behavioral issue that requires or has required in the past medication. My oldest son is ADD and refuses to take his medication because of the side effect of no appetite. He is already very thin and he simply won't eat when he takes it.

My middle son which is my TRUE challenge is bi-polar, OCD, has anxiety, is depressed and well has a criminal history. He is on Prozac only at the moment. We've tried many medications, this is working...some...but not enough. He also responds well to Ativan (Xanax) when he feels he is overwhelmed). But he is angry, makes very poor decisions, is doing and selling drugs (and I don't really know what kinds other than marijuana), is going back and forth to court and has been for 6 months waiting to see if he will do jail time over his latest arrest and charge of intent to sale. He has no real home, moving from place to place since he turned 18 and COULD move out. He can't keep a job, gets fired or quits. He is always in an argument or altercation with someone and treats everyone around him like dirt. He has the occasional meltdown when he feels he is no longer in control and then he is so sorry for everything and tells me how much he loves me and he needs medications and wants to change his life and yada, yada...but the next day....it's all a distant memory and he is back to bad-ass gangsta mode again. I am so worried about him. CONSTANTLY worried about him. I cry daily over what will happen to him or to my family because of him.

This life is not fair.....not by a long shot and I wonder a lot of times how to get through the next hour let alone the next day.

Thanks for listening. Good to know there are other moms out there with similar issues.

BrinaBabylesbians

bluestmommy
by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 10:50 AM

 I can completly understand! I just joined this group in hopes of finding mothers and fathers who understand my situatuin. IOn most days my daughter leaves me feeling like an old tired, lazy mom who never plays with her. My daughter also follows me every where, including the bathroom. It is tough.

ladyrltr
by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 6:14 PM

Defeated, Exhausted, Confused, Irritated, Frustrated and Old!!!

I feel all those things at least 3 days a week so totally understand what you mean. This is my second time around raising kids so I have a reason to feel extra tired but this gd takes every ounce of strength I have every day.

I raised 3 sons in my 20's, part of that time as a single mother (no adhd) but I really think the mischief that comes with sons even with all 3 put together was not as stressful as dealing with 1 10 yr old gd at 59!!!

I come here and read the posts which are so helpful because I realize you are all dealing with the same feelings as I am.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough week but school will start soon and you will have a few hours of peace, I'm sooooo looking forward to school starting this year!

P.S. my gd is on Straterra as well.

Hang in there and know you are not alone.....

Hugs

Helen

Shirlgirlie
by on Jul. 31, 2009 at 10:30 PM

I have many times used the word "defeated" to describe myself.  I totally understand and sympathise with you.

We have adhd here.  I was drooling over medication, but my son was never put on any.  My husband refused to use them.  I was really desperate and began looking at other ways of treating adhd.  I couldn't imagine that anything natural would treat my out of control son.

It's funny that now I think the complete opposite.  It makes sense to me that if there is a problem with our body we should first look at a host of possible natural problems.  One being toxic overload from the things we eat and are exposed to.  Vitamin and mineral deficiencies.  Allergies and intolerances......  There are too many things to list.

My son changed dramaticly just from the feingold program which removes petroleum based foods and products. 

There is alot to it.  We started by removing red dye from food.  We  have made continuous progress.

If you want to learn more read "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics" by Ken Bock.  You can find a doctor who specializes in this.

Check out feingold.org

I can't get into all the root causes and supplements, but l-theanine is worth a try for the anxiety.  100 mg in the am and pm.  per my medical doctor.  It has helped my nephew quite a bit.  It's a natural supplement.

Hang in there mama and good luck!

tarinnam
by on Aug. 5, 2009 at 3:35 PM

oh how i know how you feel i am mentally and physically exhausted except they are my step kids they havent seen there birth mom in 5 years they are now 7 and 8 years old and sd is adhd odd and bipolar ( birthmom is bipolar schitzophranic ) and ss is adhd add ss is not so bad but sd doesnt sleep steals lies litterally on a hourly basis its exhausting and draining and some days i think about leaving my husband who i love with everything just to get away from the headacche of it all so i definatly know were your coming from and im the only mom they have ever known

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