Shea is 8. When Shea was 7 we put him on meds. The meds made him afraid of everything, paranoid, violent, ticky, skinny, nervous, antisocial and in general, not himself. We took him off meds. We had a great summer and started him in school off the meds. The teacher started calling immediately. Shea was unable to focus for even one minute. Off the meds he is brave, happy, healthy, and outgoing. He's highly intelligent and bored with repetitive tasks. He has amazing comprehension and a love for learning when it's interesting to him. I put him back on different meds and got the same side effects. I took him off and now I've had to take him out of school because it's quite obvious the school does not have the resources to deal with this child. Plus he's being ridiculed because the teacher (unbenounced to me) had a student teacher sitting next to him and so now he's the weird kid.
So now we are homeschooling. I work full-time (10-12 hour days) and his grandfather is helping me. Does anyone know a book or a site that would be helpful? I don't have as much time as I need to research and If someone has tips to get me a head start I would be very grateful.
Cami
You might try looking up Virtual Homeschooling for your state. I know in Ohio, where I once lived, a lot of moms did virtual school there. The school would provide a computer if you needed it, it was free, and you had phone conferences with teachers through their site. You could go all the way through 12th grade, and since it was done by the public school system, your child would receive a regular diploma, from what I was told. They have something similiar here in Texas. The plus is that all the lessons are already done for you, but you do facilitate the learning at home. The negative is that it is still state curriculum.
My son had been in a Charter School and his 5th grade teacher was going to fail him and make him repeat the grade. I begged and pleaded to have him put into special ed but she refused, stating, "he's too bright". I kept telling her he is bright but he is emotionally impaired. The school illegally refused my request for him to be tested.
I moved my son into the public school. They observed him for a while and then had him tested. But they immediately put the supports in place for him to be successful. He was tested and placed in special ed. Each child gets an IEP (independent education plan) that address their particular issues and what steps will be taken to assist them.
Also, if your son is having this kind of adverse effect from the stimulents, he may possibly be misdiagnosed (I have lost faith in doctors over time). You may want to get a second opinion.
I don't know how much help it will be, I have 2 kids with ADHD among other things. They are my 2 youngest kids 17 years & 7 years my daughter (17) was diagnosed back when she was like 4 right after she started headstart & it was really hard 2 find a med that suited her it took alot of trials, but I never have been one to give meds 2 kids i always thought they might grow out of it or this was a phase we went thru adderall,buspar,lexapro, any way I wasnt happy with the effect they had on her she was rather zombie like when my son (7) was diagnosed about 1 1/2 years ago they put him on tenex & that seems to have been a good fit so now my daughter is on celexa & tenex, my son is on tenex & they both seem to be doing better with that med than any other. My daughter also goes to a school more geared toward children with these kinds of problems & they have a couple of schools like that here N E T S (thru northwest youth & family services) the other one is called Lifespan (YTP). Be strong mom keep it up your doing a great job I know it does get frustrating but once you find the right balance wether its meds or something else to help your child you will feel a great relief like a weight has been lifted. By the way my 7 year old started 1st grade this year & its been very positive so far keep your fingers crossed. He is doing much better with it since we also implemented a strict routine for both of them we do the same things each day the same as the day before like school work gets done right after school before any other activities then play for about an hour (maybe hour n half) when hes been really good in school then dinner bath 30 minutes on the computer with supervision 1 hour of tv & when 9:30 comes brush our teeth wash our face n bedtime its been going very well we keep telling him how proud we are of him that he has been able to follow this schedule and staying focused. Like I said don't know if it will help, hoping so. 
I was browsing look for information on ADHD and came across this post, so I joined the group so I could comment. I'm thinking I should repost it as it's own thread, but I'm leaving it here anyway.
Your son sounds like mine. I've never had him tested for ADHD, he just doesn't seem like what my preconcevied notion of ADHD is, I guess. I've known kids that had it, and saw how they behaved, and he isn't like that. He's not hyper at all. He can focus on stuff when he's truly interested in it. He is extremely bright, he's in the Jubilee program (gifted program). He has an IQ of 146. He's happy, outgoing, inventive, loves to read.
He hasn't been tested or diagnosed, and he isn't on any medication. We try to avoid red dyes and most sugars, although he does occasionally eat them. We notice a severe hyper reaction with red dyes, especially in drinks like rasperry crystal light.
His grades are steadily getting worse, and he's getting constant check marks in his behavior folder every day. He just came off of being grounded for two weeks because of the check marks, and two days later, they started again. So far this week, he's gotten 2 checks a day every day, and today was only a half day!! The checks are all the same, fails to stay on task, talking excessively without permission, failure to finish assignments, and playing in the bathroom. The teacher and I have talked, she says he's a great kid, she just can't get him to listen or stay on task, and he doesn't strike her as being ADHD. She's taught for several years, and has a few in her class that are. He isn't doing bad things, just stuff like looking out the window, or talking to the kids next to him when he's supposed to be reading, etc.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help him, I get so frustrated with him, it ends up with both of us in tears. Like right now for instance. He's got 6 vocabulary words he has to know for his test tomorrow. He's studied them every day this week, and again for homework. I am quizzing him on them, and when I ask for the definition, he shuts up and his mind goes blank. I send him back to the table to write them out, then quiz him again. We are now in our fourth round, and he still can't answer the first one, and now he's crying because I am making him right them again. His test is TOMORROW. We haven't even got to his spelling words yet, because he also has a test in those tomorrow, and it will be the same thing when we get to those. He has A's in math, science, reading, and one other class. He has a very low C in language and a low B in spelling, as of his last progress report, but he's the papers he's been bringing home are lowering that average, as well as some of his A's. It seems to be getting worse. He's in 3rd grade, and he's 8 years old.
If anyone has any opinions or advice on what I can do to help him, I would be so grateful.
Myisa - Try looking at some of the articles in http://www.sengifted.org/
It is a great site for parents of gifted children. It covers the differences between gifted, adhd, Aspergers, and then dual diagnosis for if your child is gifted and has some type of learning disabliity.
Also, my nephew is very good in math, horrible in anything language related. They dxed him with adhd, but the meds did not help his focus in language. It turns out he has CAPD, Central Auditory Processing Disorder. He can pass a hearing test that tests for various frequencies, but his brain does not make sense of all the sounds, so while he is "hearing", he isn't "understanding". The school Speech Pathologist was the first one who suggested this as a problem, so perhaps your school speech path. may have some info on it.
Try www.k12.com. Some states offer it as an alternative to public school. It depends upon the school district as well. There is also another site that is paid. I have not used it but the online feedback seems to be good. It is www.time4learning.com. There also might be a hospital/homebound type home setting that some school districts offer. He must be evaluated and found to be "fit" for the program. That is at least how it is here in FL.
We are at the same crossroads with our 9 year old. Ours can't stay where he is or otherwise he will self destruct further than he already has. We also work full time, (both military). I will let you know if I find anything new.
Good Luck!
Sarah
Wow. Our children do sound very much alike. I was laughing about the "playing in the bathroom" comment because that happened a lot with Shea too. I just posted a new message about how things are going.
I appreciate you reaching out. I'm feeling better about how things have been working out. I think you should read my post. So I'm copying it here for you. Thank you for sharing. Please keep in touch. I'd love to hear your thoughts and your adventures in ADD :-D
A Success Story - OFF THE MEDS
I really believe every child is different. My son is 8 and his story is similar to your son's in many ways. Not quite as "hard-core" maybe for lack of a better word. I relate to the lying and the daily phone calls. My son has a temper, he's defiant, he argues about everything. He has some social issues and problems with getting bullied (or at least he perceived it that way). There were problems in kindergarten with self-organization. More often than not he was sent home without his back pack, jacket, gloves or hat that he had arrived with earlier in the day. Teaching him to do anything like the steps to bathroom etiquette, or putting on his own clothes seemed impossible. By the first week of first grade his teacher was calling me every other day, basically stating he was a sweet child but she was highly concerned because he couldn't sit still, pay attention, organize etc. During a conference the teacher looked at me like I was crazy when I mentioned I thought it was possible he was gifted, or highly intelligent. I didn't think it was crazy. He seemed to pick up on concepts very quickly from walking and talking to reading and computer operation. The phone calls from school continued. The principal, the teacher, the bus driver. It took us the entire first grade year to get him diagnosed with ADD.
p.s. the music teacher said he seemed to understand and enjoy music far more than other children.
We bought him a drum set. And an electric guitar. And a piano.
The books and the doctors recommended medication. They said it was a shame not to medicate him so he could think clearly. We put him on Concerta.
During second grade, the phone calls stopped. The teacher seemed disconnected. But she told us he was doing great. She said he understood algebra.
I didn't know that. I don't understand algebra. She said she called him her "little mathematician."
I said I thought my son could be gifted. She didn't laugh at all. She thought he should be tested.
"How does one get an accurate IQ reading when testing a child with ADD?" I thought.
But still, it wasn't settling well, the Concerta. It just didn't settle well no matter how much I tried to convince others (and myself) that it was a good idea and the right decision.
By the end of 2nd grade my son was well-adjusted. Not symptom free by any means but school was better. He still never brought home his backpack. Or homework. His grades went up.
But there were side-effects from the meds. A fear of everything. Especially bikes, bugs, and anything dangerous–like escalators. Compulsively biting his fingers until they bled and built callouses. Terrets-like symptoms. Eye-blinking, compulsive throat clearing. He lost close to 20 pounds. And he had horrible anxiety being around people. He wanted to be left alone most the time. Grumpy.
It's Summer Vacation. What a perfect time to take him off the meds and see how he does. It's been a year, afterall. Whoa! 2 days of running in circles and talking and laughing. And he was STARVING. My friends looked at him in amazement. "I've never seen anything like this," my friend said.
Several days later he calmed down. Still hungry. We went to the coast. He climbed a 30 foot rock with his new campsite friends. He rode his bike. My family said it was nice to have "the old Shea" back. "He's so friendly and happy," they said in surprise.
3rd grade started off the meds.
The teacher was calling every several days again. "He can't sit still for even one minute."
I put my happy Shea on a different type of med.
Same side-effects.
Back off the meds.
It was clear resources in public schools were limited for children with ADD. Borderline non-existent. His self-esteem plummeted.
I pulled him out of school. My dad homeschools him while I'm at work. Two days a week he goes to a co-op through the public school system, for parents that homeschool. He takes classes like Lego Science and Japanese Culture. He does lessons on the computer. He goes to the YMCA. He LOVES school now. He LOVES learning. 20 minutes of work, 15 minutes of play. Repeat. His progress report for November is outstanding. Sounds way more interesting then what I learning in school.
Anyway, Shea is still off meds. He is happy. He's trouble. He's difficult. He argues and lies and loses his temper. But he knows we love him. He can learn social skills at his own pace (a little slower than others). And he can learn academically at his own pace (the speed of lightning).
Oh by the way. The co-op principal called his old school and found his test scores from an IQ test he received in 1st grade. I guess that memo didn't make it home. It said he was tested in the top 10%. That was off the meds.
Funny. I thought that piece of information may have been notable at the time. Maybe it was lost in a file. Remember those manilla folders with paper in them that we used to use. I think they still do.
Things get lost.
A mom with a Bi-Polar teen
- cameon
on Sep. 22, 2009 at 2:16 AM