SICK OF IT! Biopsy Results

[Melissa823]

I'm so freaking frustrated. 

I struggle with anxiety - badly lately. I wrote a post a couple months ago about having mono.  Around the same time I was diagnosed, I abruptly stopped breast feeding and started sweating at night from hormone changes (I'm assuming anyway - I sweat after I had both girls too at night). Well, the mono gave me swollen lymph nodes everywhere which is normal. But lymph nodes behind your collar bone can be a sign of cancer (if you don't have something specific wrong with you - like mono)

Well, I freaking Google too much, and just keep being totally afraid and paralyzed by fear that I could have cancer. The ENT said to just have a biopsy done for peace of mind but he thought I was fine, but my husband doesn't want me to because it's actual surgery in which they put you under general anesthesia (heart-lung-machine) and he just doesn't feel like that's smart for just "peace of mind"

The lymph nodes are getting smaller but I'm still miserable and fearful because I've heard that drenching night sweats (which I don't have - but have a hard time not thinking that my sweating at night is related) can mean cancer too.

I just want some relief from anxiety. I've tried meds, therapy and reading books - I'm just depressed and miserable.

Then - there was a whole ordeal with my daughter at school today where the nurse called and said she had a fever. Well - she ended up calling my mom who went and picked her up from school - and NO ONE CALLED ME! Not to mention she had no fever. I was furious.

Well, my husband and I got into a fight over that and we're not speaking. We never fight.

I'm a pretty spiritual person - and follower of Jesus. I know this might sound crazy to some of you who may not believe the same way, but I feel like the devil is attacking me and trying to distract me from what's important in life. And that just makes me more down.

I'm scared, I'm depressed and I feel alone.

Thanks for letting me vent.

You have all be so encouraging to me! THANK YOU! I had my ENT appointment last Wednesday and he doesn't think the nodes are getting smaller - and thought they felt the same. (I still think at least one of them is smaller!) They are still very small. He wants to do the biopsy. He said he would only use LOCAL not general anesthesia. He said he's 98% sure it's NOT cancerous, but he wants to be sure. I'm nervous - but just hopeful for some relief. I'll keep you all posted and appreciate prayers and encouragement. 

So, I had the biopsy done Tuesday. The doctor said it looked just like a chronically infected node and that I shouldn't expect any surprises with test results. I tried to call to get the results, butt he woman was extremely rude to me as always. I'm going nuts. My follow up appointment is Monday, and I hope they don't make me wait until then.

I went in for my post op and biopsy results! NO CANCER!!!!!!!!!! I'm so relieved, thankful to God, and motivated to really do something to heal from this anxiety! Thank you for your prayers and concern!

[JulieH12]

I understand the fear of something being wrong with you. I think that if it takes having o be put under when the lymph nodes are getting smaller, then I would just wait and see for a while. If your doctor really thought you should be concerned, thenu he would recommend the biopsy. As far as your daughter, there must've just been some kind of mix up, but I would make sure that the school has the right information so that it doesn't happen again. And I am sorry you are fighting with your husband, that always makes things harder. I am sorry your anxiety is so bad. Have you tried exercise? That really does make a big difference for me along with my meds.

[stillstandin246]

 I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Stop Googling if you don't have to.  If the doctor doesn't think you need surgery, I wouldn't do it either.  Although General Anesthesia is NOT a heart-lung machine.  They would only do that if you had, like, open heart surgery.  For me, if I don't take my zoloft every day, I get bad anxiety, and sometimes I do anyway.  I can get myself all worked up and cause my own anxiety attack, and I just stop what I'm doing and tell myself to breathe.  As for your husband, its very hard for someone who doesn't experience serious anxiety to understand it.  I hope things get better for you.

[Melissa823]

BUmp for update...

[Melissa823]

Bump for final update.