Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Afraid

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 12:52 AM
  • 2 Replies
  • 153 Total Views
I need help. I have no idea what's going on with me. Withour going into details.. I was abuse in everyway you can be as a child. I was lucky though. I was taken out of that enviorment and I was adopted. When I was young I thought I was so strong. I didn't care what had happened to me. When I would talk about it, it was as if it didn't happen to me. It wasn't tell my teens years when I noticed the differances between the other kids and myself. The biggest the one time I had a boyfriend growing up I only let him get close enough to touch me a couple of times. I soon developed a reputation of being stuck up, believe it or not. I didn't care. I was a strong woman who made my own choices. I still didn't care what happened to me. None of that mattered to me. So what if I broke into tears everytime there was a confrontation. It was because I am was mad. Not because I was scared or anything. So I flich when I hear a loud noise or someone moved to fast by me. It's only because you can never be to carefully. I am tough as nails. Look what I have been through and it doesn't bother me. Fast forward several years. Now I am a mother of two. Because I know first hand what it feels like to be abused I am scared spittles for my kids. I am so afraid all the time. I am afraid of everything. Not just a little afraid I am getting phobias. I completely flip out at little things. I keep telling myself its only because I don't want my kids to get hurt. Its because I am protecting them from whatever.  To be honest.. I don't know why I am so afraid. Part of why I can't sleep at night is because of my kids keeping me up. The other part is because I can't go to sleep. I can't stay asleep. Its worst at night. When it is daytime alot of my anxiety goes away, but with the night comes this pressure in my chest. There are so many kids out there being hurt. I can't help them. And that makes it worse. I want to so badly. I don't want them to end up like me. What about my own kids. Am I going to teach them to fear the world? I want them to do everything I wish I could do. I am getting more and more afraid each day. I know one of these days I am not going to want to leave the house. What kind of mother will I be then? I'll be fine in the morning. Sorry.
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 12:52 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
Suezete
by Member on Jun. 25, 2007 at 7:10 AM
 I have the same thing in a little different put not much, if I went to the stor and the kid were home with there father I was fine until about 10,mitents the it would start by the time I would  get home I was not able to breathe dent have cell phons,then it was crazy, but as they got older I got better, its still hard with my one at home but she is a handy caped child,MR, HADD,OCD so if she sleeps 30mi. past the time she gets up I can see it in my head,shes been taken, is not fun living like this put for me it got better, and ZANX helps a lot

               Be happy Be free
lilmyksmom
by Member on Jun. 26, 2007 at 10:50 PM
I have a very similar problem.  My mother died of cancer when I was a kid. Ever since then, I have been afraid of getting sick.  Since I have had children, it has gotten much worse.  I am so afraid of catching something, it is turning into a fear of germs. I am afraid I am going to catch something and die.  I am becoming a little more afraid every day, too.  I am getting to the point that sometimes I'm afraid to go out.  I can see that I am instilling this fear into my children.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)