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Curious?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 3:08 PM
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Does anyone have aniexty so bad that you don't know who you are? Like when I met my SO about 7 almost 8 years ago, I didn't have any problems and I was always happy around him and kinda shy and sweet. Now that we have a 4 year old together, and have been together and living together for 2 years I am a nervous basketcase all the freakin time. I get so upset, I can't eat, my stomach stays in knots, I have bad dreams all night, my thoughts race like crazy, I never have anything positive to say. I mean, I totally freak out if my SO even looks at me funny or if a pretty girl is on tv - naked. I freak out. Like I feel like insane, I can't stop my thoughts, and I don't know how to control them.

But, anywho, my SO keeps telling me I need to act more like myself, and I don't know who that is.

Anyone else feel this way?
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 3:08 PM
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BlueFrogMama
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 3:41 PM
When I finally started to recover from years and years of depression and anxiety attacks, I told my psychiatrist that I felt like a little kid and I wasn't sure why. I eventually realized it was because the last time I really felt healthy, happy, and balanced was when I was about 10 years old. I had gone well over half my life not being able to be myself. But I had been that way for so long, it just seemed normal to me. It is highly unlikely that you will be able to just snap out of it and act like yourself again. Your SO clearly does not understand what you are going through. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that you never have anything positive to say. What really changed things for the better for me was realizing that I was in a pattern of negative thoughts, and that was the root cause of my anxiety. Please find a counselor, or consider purchasing one of the cgnitive reconditioning programs that are available. I did Lucinda Bassette's program, Attacking Anxiety and Depression, several years ago and I have been free of depression and anxiety attacks ever since. Also, my husband listened to some of the tapes with me, and it really helped him understand the condition and how to help me.
Rondog
by Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 3:47 PM
I absolutely know what you mean. It's like you just want to be your old self, but you can't remember who that was? The key is to just roll with anxiety. That's one of the best things that I have learned, don't fight it, it just makes it worse. You have to remember that you are you all of the time. No matter what happens. You are you. I sometimes would say this mantra when I was feeling extra anxious:
"I am I am I am...." It's really good to just slow down and recognize all your symptoms. I would definitely see a therapist if you aren't already, and possibly see about meds. Those 2 and just positive self talk are truly the key to unwinding your self.

Good Luck!

lilmyksmom
by Member on Jul. 26, 2007 at 8:14 AM
I feel like that a lot.  Now, it seems like my meds are finally bringing it under control, but I know exactly what you are talking about.  Sometimes I feel so out of control I can't remember what i am like when things are okay.  When that happens, all I want is my husband to comfort me, but he just gets irritated because i can't control myself and walks away.  When I feel like I can't lean on him, I get even worse.  I guess it's not fair to put that kind of burden on him, however, he did say in sickness and in health... Right?

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