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At the end of my rope

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:08 AM
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To be writing for me, means I have had enough. My anxiety is starting to get the best of me, to the point where I don't want to go anywhere. I had really bad panic attacks about 6 years ago, then I met my husband and within months, they were gone! Like magic really. My daughter is 16 months old, and my anxiety didn't start to pop its ugly head up til about the end of my pregnancy. Then it would come and go after she was born, and now within the past month, it has just been getting worse. I am back to the point in my life where I am fearing the attack itself, and I feel like I am totally losing to this rediculous mental game. I feel so angry. Drivng thru major intersections and going into stores have become the worst for me for fear of either a car accident or passing out and someone taking my daughter....I know....I am losing it huh???? I am writing for some advice. I hate that I feel like I am losing my life. I feel like I would rather not have a life if this is how I am going to live forever, which then makes me sad bc I want to have a happy life and enjoy my baby to the fullest. Anyone have any advice on how I can approach going into, for example, walgreens, without getting nervous from the start??? Even if I don't have a full blown attack, I still have symptoms that I talk myself down from. I am not on meds. Have tried xanax...no such help. I have also tried zoloft and wellbrutrin...and nothing.  Please, I really just want some help! Thanks so much!

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Snu
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:46 AM

First, I am so proud of you for wanting to tackle this problem.  You are doing it for you and for your little girl who deserves to enjoy the big world out there!

I suffered from panic attacks for only a short time, maybe a few months, when I was just out of college and didn't get a job right away.  I think I was depressed.. anyway, I started to get panic attacks at the supermarket, getting lightheaded, blushing, feeling like everyone was looking at me.  I thought, "this is ridiculous, I have to conquer this." 

What I did was this:  I would make a list of 12 things (why I picked 12, I don't know, LOL) and put them in order of where they show up in the supermarket.  My goal was to get in and out as quickly as possible.

I knew I was "cured" when I found myself browsing one day,  feeling calm, looking at labels, etc., and not feeling like I had to rush out of there.  That was it. 

PLEASE don't give in to these attacks!  I feel bad about saying this and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I HATE it when people become prisoners in their own homes and refuse to push past the discomfort.  My mother, 70, no longer leaves her house at all, because once she has a panic attack at a certain place, she says, "well, I won't go THERE again.."  Slowly, all the places she used to go have been crossed off her list.

I wish I could give you more info on meds..  I am sure other moms here could make some suggestions.

othermom
by Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:59 AM

I feel the same way a lot of the time. I have good times and bad times with my anxiety. Well, maybe not good times, but better times. I worry so much about passing out or something like that especially when I am some where alone with my kids, even at home. I have been working with both my kids on our phone number, address, and what to do in an emergancy. right now I have been telling them if anything ever happens to me, like I get hurt or can't get up for some reason to go get our neighbors for help or to call 911. I also have are familys phone numbers posted on the fridge when my son can find them. It is really hard dealing with this stuff. It is so frustrating and scary. I wish there was something I could tell you that might help you, but good luck., I really hope things improve for you soon. I am on Alprazolam for my panic attacks, it helps some. One thing that helps me is having snacks and water with me, usually if I have a light snack I feel a little better. It also helps me to have some one with me.

Jenicasmommy
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:03 PM

I have been at the point where you are at now a few times in my life. Honestly, the only thing that REALLY helped me was to not run from the situation and try to make the panic attack worse. I take a deep breath and tell myself to just die already if that is what is going to happen. This has stopped many a panic attack in it's tracks. I also use Ativan as needed but it is only a bandaid and I typically only use it now if I am sick or something unusually stressful has come up because I don't want to start the worry about panic feelings cycle. It turns into a bad habit so quickly!

I wonder since your anxiety came back during the last part of your pregnancy if you have a hormone imbalance? My anxiety is directly related to hormones and mine went crazy after the birth of my 16 month old. Now that it is under control, my anxiety has gotten so much better.

Have you ever read the book Hope and Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes (sp?) ?  Also check out the website www.panicend.com . It saved my life literally as I had become agoraphobic.

Some people swear by taking B vitamins. Exercise and cutting out caffeine can be helpful too. What was it about when you met your husband that made your anxiety go away? Try to remember how you felt then.

You beat this beast anxiety once before and you can do it again! Don't give up and don't let it stop you from living your life! Good luck!

 38047_1230658629_med1.jpg picture by nica1082

msspacey
by Member on Feb. 17, 2009 at 11:50 AM

I started having someone ride with me... keeps your mind off of the fear....   that helps

lakensmom
by Member on Feb. 17, 2009 at 6:38 PM

let me start out by saying way to go on wanting to get help and be the best mom for your daughter,I too am at the same cross road as you are right now. I have a son who is 12mos and I worry that I am going to ruin him in some way that it takes over who I am all I do is worry about everything and it drives me nuts and I too feel that this is controlling my life. I take cymbalta 40mg and it has helped me some what,I also have xanax and that doesnt help at all. I do go see a shrink that has helped do you think that might help? If you need to talk feel feel to pm me

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