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how long

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:37 AM
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how long has it been since your child/children last had contact with their fathers and have you tried to remove his rights (visitation or all) and if so when did you try and at what point did you do this (how long did you wait)? if you child has returned to visitation after a long period of time, how did you help them adjust and how old were they


by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:37 AM
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Replies (1-7):
AllforColin
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:43 AM

Sadly, my son is 3 and has NEVER met his father! I am going to a CS hearing in 2 weeks and then starting the procedure to get his rights terminated!He as done nothing for him at all! I have done it by myself up to now so I can just keep on doing it!

                                                                  

karen143
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:17 PM

it has been almost 15 months here, my girls were very young and do not know him they were 8 months and 22 months at the time

Quoting AllforColin:

Sadly, my son is 3 and has NEVER met his father! I am going to a CS hearing in 2 weeks and then starting the procedure to get his rights terminated!He as done nothing for him at all! I have done it by myself up to now so I can just keep on doing it!



amyis38
by on Jan. 30, 2009 at 12:06 AM

With five children, ranging in age from 3 to 12, we had a very difficult year with no contact from their dad since last Christmas. They did have phone calls for a while (he lives three hours away) but he was so inappropriate I went to court to have those terminated. He didn't show up for three supervised visits in a row so the judge revoked his rights. In August our divorce was final, and after a hearing on child custody (how ridiculous!) the judge denied him any rights at all until he completed some treatment. Now he got visits back starting right before Christmas. He showed for the first visit, cancelled the next two (every two weeks) and the jury is still out on this weekend's visit. 

It has been hard for the kids but the older ones seem to be accepting who he is and that he will never change.  They act out a lot, and I work really hard to be positive and pleasant and talk about positive things about their dad.  I have to reach WAAAAAAY back in the relationship, but it is important.  I talk about the visit as if it is going to happen, until we get the call that it isn't.  They, however, were completely accepting that first and only visit.  No grudges, just joy to see him.  Now my three year old thinks the visitation center is her daddy's house.  :)

As my counselor tells me often, I can't protect them from him.  He is their dad and always will be and the saddest days for me will be the days each of them accept just how limited he is.

Best of luck to you!

karen143
by on Jan. 30, 2009 at 5:47 PM

my girls are 3 and soon to be 2, and i do not see them going back to visitation any time soon but was curious!

Quoting amyis38:

With five children, ranging in age from 3 to 12, we had a very difficult year with no contact from their dad since last Christmas. They did have phone calls for a while (he lives three hours away) but he was so inappropriate I went to court to have those terminated. He didn't show up for three supervised visits in a row so the judge revoked his rights. In August our divorce was final, and after a hearing on child custody (how ridiculous!) the judge denied him any rights at all until he completed some treatment. Now he got visits back starting right before Christmas. He showed for the first visit, cancelled the next two (every two weeks) and the jury is still out on this weekend's visit. 

It has been hard for the kids but the older ones seem to be accepting who he is and that he will never change.  They act out a lot, and I work really hard to be positive and pleasant and talk about positive things about their dad.  I have to reach WAAAAAAY back in the relationship, but it is important.  I talk about the visit as if it is going to happen, until we get the call that it isn't.  They, however, were completely accepting that first and only visit.  No grudges, just joy to see him.  Now my three year old thinks the visitation center is her daddy's house.  :)

As my counselor tells me often, I can't protect them from him.  He is their dad and always will be and the saddest days for me will be the days each of them accept just how limited he is.

Best of luck to you!



Lovelylis
by Group Owner on Mar. 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM

i was gracious enough to let my kids see their father last summer, thinking he had cleaned up his act.  unfortunately for them, he didnt...the week before their birthdays, he ended up back in jail...for beating his gf in public.  he gets out on parole next week and i'm terrified!!!  but i am totally trying to have his rights stripped; i have never received a dime in child support and i dont want or need it from him to begin with.....good luck to all you ladies:) xoxo Lisa

come visit our group if your kids father is not involved in their lives!!

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MommaandStepMom
by on Apr. 14, 2009 at 12:04 PM

My middle child has never met her dad and its been about 4 months since i last spoke to him

Vader13
by on Apr. 22, 2009 at 1:01 PM


Quoting Lovelylis:

i was gracious enough to let my kids see their father last summer, thinking he had cleaned up his act.  unfortunately for them, he didnt...the week before their birthdays, he ended up back in jail...for beating his gf in public.  he gets out on parole next week and i'm terrified!!!  but i am totally trying to have his rights stripped; i have never received a dime in child support and i dont want or need it from him to begin with.....good luck to all you ladies:) xoxo Lisa

It's been almost 4 years since my daughter has seen her father.  I live in PA, though, and you can't take away rights unless there is someone else to take them. 

I don't get support either, but don't want it or need it too.  I'm a big fan of not relying on those dads who don't want to be around anyway.  My motto is "don't pay, just stay away!"

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