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monkey see, monkey do

Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 5:51 PM
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i find that when my daughter is not treating me well, sometimes she is reflecting my own attitudes, the way i have treated her.

learning to control my emotions has helped her control hers.

how do i teach my daughter to choose good men, when i have made the wrong choices? how can i act as a surrogate father figure to her?

how important is a male role model in developing a positive body image?
by on May. 4, 2007 at 5:51 PM
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tigertatt
by on May. 7, 2007 at 2:05 PM
those are all very good questions.

Positive male role model...I don't really believe that has anything to do with positive body image.  I believe that we, as their mothers, play the biggest part there.  If we are not happy with the way we look, they will pick up on that and think it is OK to not be happy with the way they look. 

You can't teach her to choose "good men" you can only give her your opinion.  My oldest knows about abuse because she remembers what her doner did to me.  So she knows what to look for.  Having a male friend, who has a family, is a great way to give your daughter a positive male role model and a surrogate father all in one.  My oldest treats my bf Bill like a father because he has been around her whole life and she respects him.  Girls need that connection. 

You are right about the whole attitude thing.  My daughter will mirror my attitude if I am having a bad day.

Take care
Mikki
moniqueanna
by Group Owner on May. 9, 2007 at 1:00 PM
i have never made good choices with men, so i keep them away from her pretty much all the time. so male role models are hard to find because of my own issues.

i've always thought that since a father was the first man a girl had interaction with, a father would be the measure she would use to judge all men who entered her life thereafter.

if he was a good father, he would be kind, forgiving, generous, caring, and help complete her sense of acceptance of herself.

my father was the measure i used for men, but in a negative way. i had a bad father, so my point of reference sucks. all men have been like him in one way or another.

since then i have learned to accept myself and i am teaching my daughter as well i can to love herself. but there is still a gap left by his absence in her life.
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