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Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 8:34 PM
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So, Kimberly, the nine year old I keep posting journal entries about is once again causing strife among the family.  She is on this kick (which I assume is normal in newly blended families) where if she doesn't get her way, she throws a complete tantrum and states (sometimes screaming) that she is going to go live with her Grandma.  She then proceeds to try and hurt the feelings of the "offending" adult by proclaiming that they are a stranger to her and gives them the complete silent treatment.  With me, it's "You aren't my mom anyway."  or "You're only my step mom and I don't know why my dad married you!"  Ugh.  Sometimes it's overwhelming and I'm not sure I can do this.  I love her the same as I do my "birth kids".  The only thing I can equate it to is when your child goes to stay with Dad for the weekend and when they come back they are off kilter for a day or  so.  Only instead of a weekend.. it's been 9 years of being with the "fun" parent. 
I know this is hard on her, too.  And I want to make this as easy as possible, but I can't do that by simply giving in to her every whim.  This last fight is because I told her that she couldn't ask for anything at the store.  Nicely.  As in  ME-"Baby Girl, I want you to be on your best behavior in the store, okay?"  HER-"Ok".  
ME - "That means that you can't run around or ask for anything." 
HER - "But WHHHHhhhyyyyy?"
 ME -  "Well, because we don't have the money to buy anything extra."  
HER - "Well, if we don't have money then why are we going to the store?"
ME - "We only have enough money for food, Sweetie."
HER - *silence* until we get out of the car.
*We had taken separate cars because they met me at work.  Joe and Camille in one car and Kimberly and I in the other.  Dad comes around with eyebrows raised in a silent "what's going on?"   Kimberly refuses to get out of the car and sits there with her arms crossed.  Dad walks to the door, unlocks it and smiles.  He tries to coax her out of the car.  No luck.  He picks her up and takes her out of the car.  That's when the true tantrum begins. *
Her - Why can't I have something??  It's ALWAYS about you and mom and NEVER about ME!! I'm NOT going in there.  (Keep in mind that she can't be trusted to sit in a car.. and I wouldn't feel comfortable with it anyway).  
Dad - Honey, we have to go shopping, we need food in the house.  

You can take it from there.  I tell Joe I'll just meet him and Camille at home.  I take Kimberly to the car.  We argue.  (Yes, I argued back.. I caved in and got angry).  She starts in on the You aren't my mom thing.  ARG. I'm just frustrated and rambling now.  
I think I'll go take a nap and then try to figure this out.  
Thanks for listening.

by on May. 4, 2007 at 8:34 PM
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